


You're Mine!

by Nadja_Lee



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Loves Magnus Bane, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Angst, Animal Transformation, BAMF Magnus Bane, Bargaining, Bottom Alec Lightwood, Caring Alec Lightwood, Caring Magnus Bane, Complicated Relationships, Dark, Dark Magnus Bane, Dom Magnus Bane, Dom/sub Undertones, Dominance, Dubious Consent, Dubious Morality, Emotional Hurt, Emotionally Hurt Alec Lightwood, Emotionally Hurt Magnus Bane, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Hurt Lorenzo Rey, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Love/Hate, M/M, Magnus Bane Loves Alec Lightwood, Manipulation, Misunderstandings, Oral Sex, Ownership, Possessive Magnus Bane, Post-Episode: s03e18 The Beast Within, Power Dynamics, Prince of Hell Magnus Bane, Prisoner of War, Protective Alec Lightwood, Self-Sacrificing Alec Lightwood, Sub Alec Lightwood, Threats, Top Magnus Bane, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:09:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 62,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27586564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nadja_Lee/pseuds/Nadja_Lee
Summary: A love story of betrayal, pain, forgiveness, growth, self-discovery and a romance that survives and endures everything and anything.Maryse never talked with Magnus after Alec left him and he got his magic back as per the deal with Asmodeus.Magnus instead joined his father on a campaign against Heaven and Idris, keeping Lorenzo as his pet lizard. However, he can’t forget Alec so Asmodeus decides to take Alec prisoner so he can give his son the one thing he truly wants; Alexander.
Relationships: Lorenzo Rey/Andrew Underhill, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 536
Kudos: 1210





	1. Your Gift

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lexxyia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lexxyia/gifts).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asmodeus captures Alec and gift him to Magnus to cheer him up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to my amazing beta readers as always: Cindy and Monochromatize.  
> Thanks so much to Ragina Danica for the great story banner.  
> Happy birthday, Lexxyia! Have a great day! This is a small thank you for being there for me at my darkest hour. I have tried to add everything you love into this fic: Dom Magnus, dark Magnus, Malec and Reyhill.... Hope you will like it.  
> Chapter warnings: References depression and suicidal thoughts as well as Magnus' having considered killing himself before in the past. References Magnus' despair from being without his magic and then from losing Alec, dark Magnus as in more Prince of Hellish, prisoner of war situation, background of war and people dying, threats, people turned into animals. Oral sex. Some very big misunderstandings. Also a warning that this story is more like a fantasy; as in Alec is very fine with being Magnus' prisoner despite everything.  
>  **Do read the tags and warnings, people.**

_Please read the chapter notes for detailed warnings_

# Chapter 1: Your Gift

Magnus was in a bad mood. Actually, he had been in a bad mood for months. Or more precisely one year, two months, three weeks and one day. Since Alec had left him. Left him when he had been most vulnerable. When he had been without a home, without a purpose. When he had sacrificed his magic for his parabatai. It was first after he was without his magic Magnus had realized what a huge sacrifice he had made. When he had realized he couldn’t live, didn’t _want_ to live, like a weak, useless and defenseless Mundane. Without powers or position. Without anything he had worked so many years to get. Magic was a part of him, like the air he breathed. He had never been so depressed, his soul in such agony and turmoil, as he had been during those days without his magic. Until the day Alec had left him, saying he was too different now. Thrown away when he was no longer useful for Alec. Thrown aside like yesterday's trash.

Magnus had thought Alec would be different from other Nephilim but he had proven he was just like all the others. He had chosen to save his race and his own people, including his parabatai, without a care for him, the man he had claimed to love. Alec had just used him until there was nothing left in him to sacrifice for him; he had given Alec his heart, his soul, his magic and his immortality. Nothing left of the Warlock he had once been. When Alec had used him up he had thrown him away.

No, Alec had shown him that he deserved the last name Lightwood. There was a reason Maryse had been Valentine’s second in command; she had been cold, cruel, and vicious. Alec had proven as plain as day that he was every inch his mother’s son.

Asmodeus had found him a few hours after Alec so cruelly had dumped him. He had left the store, wandering the streets aimlessly. No magic, no home…nothing left. Alone. Abandoned. Magnus had realized he had nothing left to live for and had strongly considered completing what he had started so many years ago standing on a bridge in London till Camille had talked him out of killing himself. But Camille had changed and was gone now. Ragnor was dead. Cat was still there but she was busy with Madzie. There was no point to his existence any longer.

Meeting his father topside, back on Earth, surprised Magnus and made him suspicious but he gave him his magic back, no strings attached. Then when he was about to give up his memories of Alec, Asmodeus stopped him, reminding him of the power that came through pain. In a life that had been so cruel Magnus had considered ending it his father had given him purpose and hope when he had given him his magic, his support and then…his loft back before he had turned Lorenzo into a lizard.

Magnus found his pain turn to hatred. Never had he hated as strongly as he did now for never had he loved as deeply as he had with Alec. Then with hatred came a need for revenge, starting with Lorenzo as he was close and convinient. The Warlock looked good as a lizard; Magnus found himself amused by the lizard’s desperate pleas and struggles inside the glass container he had magic’d for him. Served him right for betraying him! Soon, everyone who had betrayed him would pay! They would feel the pain that had become a constant companion to him, a constant ache in his heart.

Maryse, of all people, had tried to enter the building to talk to him but his magic had kept her out. The arrogance of that woman! As if he wanted anything to do with her now! He should have killed her; she would have had it coming for being Valentine’s second in command and helping him believe Alec's game by being so mean and cold to her son and him in public at first, making him feel compassion for Alec. Yet somehow the wound of Alec’s betrayal even as it hurt and angered him, still left him unable to hurt Alec’s mother, knowing that despite the cruelty she had done to Alec growing up he would mourn her passing deeply. Despite his pain and his hatred he could not bring Alec such pain. Not yet anyway. However, as his hurt had turned to pain and the pain turned to agony and then agony turned to anger…and then finally pure bloody rage.... Well, then in time maybe he could hurt Maryse. Hurt everyone Alec might care about so Alec would know what it felt like to be abandoned! Be alone. What it felt like to suffer. The thought warmed Magnus through the coldness of his days. The thought of revenge kept him going when he felt most like breaking down. The thought of justice. Of retribution!

And thinking of payback made Magnus’ thoughts go to Lorenzo, smiling ominously as he did so. His eyes found the glass box standing by the far wall of his living room in his loft. The lizard had learned by now to try and hide whenever Magnus’ cat eyes settled on him. Magnus no longer glamoured his eyes; why should he? He embraced his father’s inheritance proudly. The only one who had stood by him in his darkest hour had been his father and thus he now had his loyalty and support as long as their goals aligned.

As soon as Magnus looked at the lizard it tried to hide in a far corner, making Magnus snort with amusement. He hadn’t had many things to take his anger out on at first, so the lizard had been a convenient target. Now though Magnus was mostly bored of it. The lizard had learned its place and never tried to disobey, to run or to fight any longer.

Magnus had stayed in his loft in New York though he had travelled all over the world as well as to Edom and other Hell dimensions with his father. Asmodeus sought revenge on Idris for past battles and fights he had lost. Magnus was more than happy to support that, seeking retribution for the injustice he had suffered through Alec’s betrayal. He had warned Dot not to trust a Nephilim, to care for them. But he had then done precisely that. The knowledge that his own stupidity and desire for family and belonging had made him believe Alec was indeed the stuttering, innocent, overlooked, abused and good-natured boy he had appeared to be only increased Magnus’ hatred towards the Shadowhunters.

With Asmodeus’ help Magnus had killed Jonathan moments after he had killed the Seelie Queen. Thanks to this Magnus now had the undying loyalty of the Seelies and their new leader, Meliorn. Maia, the new leader after Luke had become a Nephilim again, had no love lost for the Nephilim race and had supported Magnus as well in his fight against Idris. The Vampires were easily swayed to align against Idris, always eager for revenge and blood.

In the time that had passed since Alec had so casually thrown him aside Magnus had risen as a true leader of a united Downworld while his father had become the ruler of Edom and the Hell dimensions when Magnus had joined forces with him, helping him kill Lilith once and for all. The combined power between Asmodeus and Magnus was a force to be reckoned with and no one dared to challenge them.

Alec had sent several fire messages requesting Magnus continued to take part in the Council he had established but Magnus had ignored all of them and had not showed up for any meetings and following his lead neither had anyone else. The Downworld was united now and needed no Council. Instead Magnus had sent Alec a list of demands; Idris would surrender and bow to one ruler. Him. He would then create new Accords that would govern the Shadow World. Alec had requested peace talks which Magnus had ignored. They now stood at the brink of war; a war Magnus was certain he would win with his father by his side as the ruler of all Hell dimensions. The Nephilim had lost their key advantage; disarray and infighting among the Downworlders. United, Idris stood alone and would fall sooner or later; Magnus was sure of it.

Magnus felt his father’s familiar magic way before a portal opened, pulling his thoughts back to the present. He sighed annoyed as he emptied his whiskey and magic’d up another. He was in no mood for company. As time had passed his mood had gotten darker and his temper shorter. Darkness was a constant companion, pain the only way he felt alive these days.

He remained leaning back in his chair in the living room, not bothering to go to the entrance hall where he could feel from the magical waves Asmodeus had opened a portal. Magnus could hear the portal close as well as footsteps coming closer.

“Father, I told you earlier today when you sent your fire message that I am in no mood for company,” Magnus said grimly, not looking at him as he took a sip of his whiskey.

It was getting dark and the living room was partly casted in shadows. Magnus liked it like that; it fitted his mood these days.

“I bring gifts,” Asmodeus promised strongly as soon as he entered the living room.

“I don't want any more gifts,” Magnus said with an annoyed air, doing a dismissive handwave.

His father had been oddly….pleasing since he had lost everything. He had been there for him when no one else had. He had helped him reclaim his magic, his flat, his position and power. His very will to live. However, the loss of Alec still cut deep, and Magnus had spells of deep depression among the rage and the anger. His father would bring all kind of gifts to cheer him up when it happened; mainly spellbooks, artwork, bejeweled objet d'art or musical pieces. However, no amount of gifts or trips or whatever else Asmodeus came up with could shake Magnus from his dark thoughts when he was lost inside the feelings of despair and agony Alec’s betrayal had left together with intense hate and fury. If Asmodeus had not been demonic royalty Magnus might have thought he was feeling guilty over something with his attempts to cheer him up, but Magnus of course knew better than that.

“Oh, but son, you will love this gift!” Asmodeus promised darkly.

There was something in Asmodeus’ voice that finally made Magnus look up at him, rolling his eyes in irritation all the same. His father stopped in the middle of the room, making the man he had pulled along with him kneel beside him. No, not a man with those runes. A Nephilim. The man winced as his knees hit the floor. Brilliant; Asmodeus had brought a prisoner of war, a captured Shadowhunter into his loft and now Magnus had to pretend to be all awed and impressed. He was so not in the mood to stroke his father’s ego. Yet despite his irritation Magnus’ eyes were drawn to the kneeling prisoner. Magic tied his arms and hands behind his back and an orange magical band covered his mouth, preventing him from speaking. He was a bit bloodied and bruised but otherwise looked ok. He was dressed in a black short sleeved shirt and dark pants, his runes prominent. He looked down, gasping for breath. Even without looking at the large deflect rune on the man’s neck Magnus recognized him. Had recognized him as soon as he had looked at him. He tensed and his whole body leaned forward, towards the prisoner, his body responding instinctively, reaching for what he wanted, needed, craved, without his conscious thought.

“He and a small group were out on patrol. He came willingly if I let the others go, in particular his sister,” Asmodeus revealed with a superior air and a smug grin.

Alec could almost feel Magnus in the room and found himself having to fight not to try and move towards him, not looking at him as he knew doing so would hurt too much. He had expected to be seeing Magnus again as soon as he had come with Asmodeus in order to save the others. He had both been excited and feared it. His deal with Asmodeus was still in effect and nothing pained him more than hurting Magnus as he knew he had when he had broken his heart to save his life that day. The fact that breaking up with Magnus had also pained Alec worse than anything he had ever felt hadn't been a consideration for Alec; Magnus was all that mattered to him.

These many months since breaking up with Magnus had been a living Hell for Alec. _Nephilim love once, fiercely_ , and Alec had never stopped loving Magnus. Not for a moment. Not for a second. Even when Magnus had joined his father, when they took control of the Downworld, when they started to threaten Idris with all-out war and destruction. No matter what Magnus had done since Alec had last seen him then he had never believed Magnus was evil and he never once stopped loving him.

“Alexander?” Magnus asked surprised as he rose and walked towards the prisoner, fighting to keep his voice even and calm and hide his shock.

Magnus hadn’t seen him since he had broken his heart and left him, betrayed him. Seeing him here, now….he found himself yearning for him, longing for him, as much as he hatred him with a fury and intensity only the deepest love can bring.

"Did you hurt the sister?" Magnus asked suspiciously, forcing himself to look away from Alec. "Or the parabatai?"

"I had demons attack in the west end of the city. As their strongest warrior I knew the pure Angel blooded one would be sent there so the parabatai wasn't with him," Asmodeus explained. He paused before he reasured him, "Relax; as promised only you get to kill that one. Slowly. A fitting end for your sacrifice."

Magnus nodded with dark satisfaction, enjoying that thought after all he had suffered when he had given up his magic for Alec, for Alec to save Jace.

"And the sister?" Magnus asked.

He had always liked Izzy and had no hard feelings towards her. However, as Alec's sister and a Nephilim she was an unfortunate casualty of the war that was brewing that he had accepted long ago.

"Bruised but fine; as promised only you get to end this one or his relations!" Asmodeus said as he looked down at Alec with an evil grin.

"Good."

"Now, go admire your gift," Asmodeus encouraged and Magnus couldn't help but come closer, still drawn to Alec even now, even after knowing he had betrayed him.

“I thought since you can't forget him, can’t seem to let go and move past him…well, then make him yours instead!” Asmodeus went on triumphantly, proud of the gift he was offering, convinced he had finally found the solution to everything; a way to keep Magnus as his loyal and faithful companion while ensuring he was happy staying there.

Asmodeus took a hard grip in Alec’s hair and forced his head back and up so he was looking at them both. For a moment something flashed across Alec’s face. Not shock or recognition; he had clearly recognized the loft and heard Magnus’ voice. Something…tender. Soft. If Magnus didn’t know of Alec’s betrayal, he would have called it love. Then pain flashed in Alec's eyes and settled there. Again, if he didn't know better Magnus would say it was pain at having lost him, that it was the pain of longing and regret. However, now he knew better. Nephilim were never to be trusted and Alec had proven himself the worst of them!

“He doesn’t want me,” Magnus said coldly, trying to keep the hurt out of his voice and not quite succeeding.

Asmodeus shrugged as if that statement was unimportant because it was. Who cared about him? Asmodeus only cared what his son wanted, and he apparently wanted this Nephilim. He didn’t get the fascination with this Nephilim but fine; if it would make him happy. He did owe him something for helping him kill Lilith and gain control of the Hell dimensions.

Asmodeus gave his son a dark smile as he reminded him, “You’re a Warlock. My son. A prince of Hell. We don’t ask. We claim. We conquer!”

Asmodeus’ words helped Magnus chase away his weakness, his feelings of compassion and warmth still left somewhere inside of him for Alec. Magnus reminded himself of Alec’s betrayal, he replayed his words in his mind as he had broken it off with him; those words that had sealed their fate, that had ended their love. Doing so made Magnus stand up straighter and his heart grew cold once more. He reached out with his free hand and took Alec’s chin in a firm grip, their eyes meeting and holding. Again, Magnus had to remind himself that it wasn’t love he saw in Alec’s gaze; he was just trying to trick him again.

Magnus hung on to his pain, to his hatred as he said ominously, “I like the sound of that.”

Magnus released Alec as he walked back to sit in the chair he had just left, taking a sip of his drink, observing Alec with a dark smile. Alec couldn’t betray him now. He couldn’t hurt him now. Fine, he couldn’t get rid of Alec in his memories. He couldn’t stop wanting him. Stop dreaming of him, thinking of him. But he would never again be weak. Be a fool! Never again would he be a slave to his heart and his desire for love! He would never again be Alec's lapdog, his Warlock on a leash!

Asmodeus bent down towards Alec, shaking him a bit by the pull in his hair, making Alec wince at the pain.

“I will give you back your voice but mention our deal and you know the consequences; Magnus loses his magic and his immortality and we both know he can't and wouldn't want to live without either,” Asmodeus warned, his voice low enough so Magnus couldn’t hear him.

Alec’s eyes widened, reflecting rage and worry. Asmodeus loosened his grip in his hair but kept his hand there, just in case Alec got any ideas.

“Nod if you understand,” Asmodeus demanded harshly but still so quietly only Alec could hear him.

Alec gave him a furious look but nodded.

Asmodeus smiled darkly and released his hair as he stood up. He snapped his fingers and the magic holding Alec disappeared, making Alec draw a deep but unneeded breath as the magical bond had only prevented words and not air. Alec watched Asmodeus closely as he got to his feet, rubbing his wrists, seeing the red marks from the magical ropes that had held him. Asmodeus simply smirked superiorly at him, making Alec want to hit him. However, as soon as his eyes found Magnus his whole attention was on him and only him.

“Magnus,” Alec said with a warm and relieved smile as he walked over and stood before him. He stopped, looking a bit uncertainly at Magnus, unsure what to do or say. He decided to start with the important topic of peace and said as evenly as he could, his worry for the future of the Shadow World clear in his words, “I have tried reaching you. We should talk, find a way to make peace. Your defeat of Jonathan and Lilith helped the whole Shadow World and…”

Magnus' temper flared. How dared Alec speak to him in this manner; as if Magnus didn't see him for what he was; as if he didn't know the truth about him! Coming here and pretending to care for the whole Shadow World when he had proven clear as day he only cared for himself and his own people!

He raised a hand and gave Alec a warning look as he interrupted coldly, “You don’t speak unless I tell you to. Got it?”

Alec was a bit taken back but stopped talking and nodded all the same. There was a power to Magnus now, a darkness he had never seen in him before. Unsure what to do with himself, wanting to reach for Magnus but knowing he couldn’t, Alec put his hands behind his back and stood at parade rest before him.

“Yes. Got it,” Alec said as calmly as he could, nodding.

Magnus gave him a suggestive and sexy look, sizing him up. Alec fought not to blush at the sexual gaze, hating that even now, under these circumstances his body reacted to the clear sexual desire in Magnus’ gaze.

“Now....you need a different attire for your new life,” Magnus mused darkly.

Magnus snapped his fingers after a moment of consideration, changing Alec’s outfit and cleaning him up as well, removing the cuts and bruises. Magnus told himself it was just because Alec was now his and he shouldn’t be wearing marks from anyone else than him. He didn’t do it because he cared for Alec’s wellbeing. Because he didn’t care about Alec being hurt; no, not at all. He was done being manipulated by a Lightwood. Done doing whatever the Nephilim wanted, helping Alec’s friends and parabatai and family. He was just _done_!

“There. Much better,” Magnus said with a sexy smirk, admiring Alec in the new clothes he had magic’d him into; tight dark jeans and a sleeveless tight black shirt.

The new outfit showed off Alec’s muscular arms and chest and made his deflect rune stand out in a very inviting way, making Magnus feel proud of his choice.

“What are you doing?” Alec asked with an embarrassed blush as he looked at his new outfit.

Despite what he had heard about Magnus, despite standing here before him as a gift, an offering from his father, Alec still couldn’t see Magnus as the enemy, as evil. To him he was still just Magnus and thus he spoke instinctively, without thought.

“I warned you about speaking unless spoken to,” Magnus reminded him darkly, his cat eyes shining in displeasure.

Magnus was very much aware he had to make the boundaries clear now. He had to prove to Alec he wasn’t the weak Warlock he had known before. He wasn’t Alec’s lost little puppy Warlock; his lovestruck slave. No, never again. The tables had turned. Magnus had seen through Alec’s schemes and lies. Oh, Alec had played the shy, innocent blushing virgin well, but Magnus now knew how scheming and manipulating he truly was!

“But I…” Alec started to protest.

“Maybe a day as a puppy on a leash will teach you,” Magnus interrupted sharply, his eyes narrowing in warning.

“You wouldn’t!” Alec gasped in shock, disbelief clear in his voice.

Magnus smirked darkly as he nodded towards the glass box on a side table in the room near the wall.

“See that lizard?” Magnus asked, nodding towards it.

Alec frowned, not getting why this was important but he looked and saw a very frightened lizard hastily trying to hide in one corner of the glass box when Magnus’ eyes fell on it.

“Yes?” Alec questioned.

“That’s Lorenzo Rey,” Magnus told him with a triumphant air as he took a sip of his whiskey.

Alec looked more closely at the glass box and saw something had been etched into the glass. Writing. Seemingly from the inside of the box.

“The writing.... _help me_ ,” Alec read out loud in horror. He froze when he read the next message, his blood freezing, “ _Please...kill me_.”

Alec turned to look at Magnus, a dismayed and shocked expression on his face, “He's conscious?!”

Magnus smirked darkly as he nodded, “Fully.”

Asmodeus had been observing the interaction between Magnus and Alec with interest and now stepped a bit forward.

“I would have killed him, but this is so much better, so much crueler,” Asmodeus commented, pride at his son clear in his voice as he nodded towards the lizard.

Alec gave Asmodeus a murderous look before he turned to look with pleading eyes at Magnus.

“Magnus, this isn’t you,” Alec beseeched him.

Magnus gave Alec a dark look as he said calmly with a hint of a threat to his words, “It was always me. Just a me you never saw till now.”

Alec saw the look of victory on Asmodeus’ face and shook his head, getting more and more desperate as he warned Magnus, “It isn’t you. You’ll regret this one day.”

Magnus’ expression hardened as he said firmly, “I don’t think so.”

He gave Alec a cautionary look as he added ominously, holding up his free hand, ready to snap his fingers, “Now be a good puppy and I will turn you back in 24 hours.”

Alec looked utterly shocked and devastated at him when he realized Magnus would indeed turn him into a puppy! He had till the last moment thought he couldn’t possibly mean it!

Then Magnus snapped his fingers and Alec was indeed a small fluffy puppy. Conscious, him in every way…but in the body of a small dog. He looked at his hands or rather paws and the rest of his body and estimated he was a small pooddle. His eyes caught Lorenzo’s and Alec could have sworn he saw sympathy there. Alec mentally fought down his fear and panic at being trapped inside an animal’s body. He had been a dog for a minute; Lorenzo had been a lizard for months. He could do this.

Knowing that Lorenzo had been kept as an animal for months Alec did his best to behave, not wishing to share such a horrible fate. He was very happy that Asmodeus left soon after he had been turned as that made him feel less mortified by all of this. It was difficult and humiliating to be fully conscious in this form, but Alec had to admit Magnus was kind to him in his dog form. He called him up to cuddle in his lap, he petted him, fed him food by hand; human food – mainly chicken pieces. When night came, he even ordered him to sleep in his own bed. The walks outside on the warned leash were the most humiliating, but when he had tried it a few times it got easier. When the 24 hours was close to being up Alec was a bit horrified to realize there were aspects of being a dog that he liked. It made his interaction with Magnus easier. He just had to do what he was ordered to do, and he was treated well. In this persona obeying seemed easy, natural. When Magnus told him it was time and he would turn him back, Alec realized that had been the lesson all along. That if he obeyed Magnus, he could be treated well.

Alec was both surprised and then not when he was turned human…and was naked. He was grateful it was only Magnus and him at least at the loft. He fought the blush but knew Magnus had seen it as he stood up straight, fighting the urge to cover himself. To prevent it he clasped his hands behind his back, fixating his eyes on a spot over Magnus’ right ear to try and force his embarrassment away, not wanting to show such weakness.

“How was life as a pup?” Magnus asked with a dark smirk, on purpose using the nickname Alec had claimed once to dislike, giving him an admiring look as he took a sip of his cocktail. When Alec struggled to answer, unsure what to say, Magnus’ eyes narrowed as he demanded in a harsh tone, “Answer!”

Not wanting to be turned back into a dog to be taught another lesson Alec took a deep and calming breath as he simply said, “Ok.”

Magnus nodded acceptance of the answer before he asked with a hint of a warning in his tone, “Did you learn your lesson?”

Alec knew well what he meant. Had he understood that obedience could make his new life easier and disobedience would have the opposite effect.

“I did,” Alec promised, fighting to keep his voice even, keeping his eyes fixed on the spot above Magnus’ ear, his cheeks warm and red with embarrassment, hoping desperately Magnus would magic him some clothes soon.

“Good,” Magnus said with a satisfied nod.

Alec had no doubt Magnus was well aware he was very uncomfortable being naked like this and he was also certain that was why Magnus took his time to finish his cocktail, showing Alec more plainly than words could that he was in charge here. Magnus then magic’d his glass away and walked over to sit in his favorite chair, having a clear view to his lizard from this angle. With a snap of his fingers he let music play and conjured up a new cocktail.

“Come, kneel by my chair,” Magnus ordered, waving at Alec. His expression softened a bit as he admitted, “I have missed having you near me despite your betrayal and you always did look good on your knees.”

“What?” Alec got out in surprise, blushing furiously. Yes, he had knelt for Magnus before but only ever in the heat of passion to give him a blowjob; never like this.

“Do you need another lesson in obedience?” Magnus asked, the question a warning, magic circling his right fist.

Alec looked at the frightened lizard hiding again in a corner of the glass box and sank anxiously.

“No,” Alec said in a low voice, shaking his head.

Magnus smirked in victory as he let the magic fade away.

“Good. Come then,” Magnus ordered, his cat eyes shining golden for a moment in warning.

Alec walked over to him and had to focus on a spot on the floor now, his cheeks even redder and heated as he sat by Magnus’ right leg, putting his hands in his lap as he took a calming breath. At least he was less exposed sitting like this. He was tense and rigid and he could feel Magnus’ eyes on him. He was unsure why but Magnus snapped his fingers, and he wore the same outfit he had magic’d for him when he had first gotten here. Alec sighed in relief and briefly wondered if he should thank Magnus but decided against it; still holding on to his pride. Now clothed Alec relaxed a bit, trying to stop thinking and just listen to the soft music playing. After a moment or two Magnus started to comb through his hair, a bit hesitantly at first but then with more confidence, the touch surprisingly gentle. At first Alec tensed once more but then he relaxed again, finding the touch calming and smoothing in a way he was quite certain he really shouldn’t.

They sat like that for a while and Alec found his mind start to drift, the nervousness and anxiety of the last few days melting away. At some point Magnus magic’d a drink into his hand; whiskey, and told him to go ahead and drink it, his voice oddly soft and tender when he said it. Alec was left to wonder if Magnus had given him the drink to help him relax, to make it easier for him. He wanted to believe that, but he was also aware he didn’t really know this Magnus. He still wasn’t fond of alcohol but this time, now, he drank it quickly, enjoying the burn and the slight buzz it gave him, making him feel calmer, making it easier to deal with the world.

Alec could tell when Magnus’ thoughts wandered from relaxed or happy memories to darkness. Magnus' fingers in his hair turned firmer and harder, more possessive. The moment was broken completely when Magnus took a painful hold of his hair and he forced his head back and up, so they were looking at each other.

“As I recall you used to love to give me blowjobs or was that a lie too, Alexander?” Magnus challenged, a clear warning in his voice, his eyes searching Alec’s face for his reaction to his words.

Alec sank as well as he could, licking suddenly dry lips as he admitted honestly, “It wasn’t a lie.”

Magnus smiled darkly as he released his hair. Alec turned so he was facing him as Magnus spread his legs, giving him access.

“Go ahead then. Make it good. Make me believe you. You were always _so_ good at that, making me believe your lies,” Magnus commented with more pain than hate as he magic’d himself a new drink.

Alec’s heart ached at Magnus’ words and the pain he could hear in his voice. He knew he had hurt Magnus, but he had thought Magnus would be ok, get over it. It seemed Magnus had not gotten over it, at all, and his only way of dealing with it had been to close his heart as much as possible, let his soul grow cold. A determined look was in Alec’s eyes; despite being unable to tell Magnus the truth maybe he could prove to him he still loved him. Maybe that would make Magnus reconsider his plans for war with Idris.

Alec moved to sit between Magnus’ spread legs on his knees, blushing at the heated gaze Magnus gave him. With skilled fingers, having done it plenty of times when they had been together, Alec got Magnus’ cock freed from his pants, not at all surprised to find the Warlock already hard. Magnus had always loved receiving his blowjobs as much as Alec had enjoyed giving them. However, Alec was surprised to find he himself was getting hard, his mouth watering at seeing Magnus’ familiar cock, having fantasized about it since that fateful day he had broken up with him.

Alec mentally shook his head. There was surely something seriously wrong with him for being this turned on by the power Magnus was displaying, for wanting to be with Magnus again even under these circumstances. _Nephilim love once, fiercely_. But surely he wasn’t supposed to want this, to love Magnus so unconditionally that he wanted to be with Magnus even like this. He tried to tell himself it was just a natural reaction, his erection; not a sign of real desire or love. He hadn’t had sex since Magnus and had no desire to ever be with anyone else but him. His body was just responding to the adrenaline. But Alec wasn’t even halfway convincing himself; he had dreamt of Magnus since that day he had last seen him. Dreamt of marrying him. Dreamt of holding him, kissing him…doing precisely this to him again.

To distract himself from his own desires Alec focused instead completely on Magnus, on pleasing him, closing off everything else. He started first by licking the tip of Magnus’ cock, surprised that the taste, feel, and weight of Magnus’ cock in his mouth was still so familiar to him, like a long lost but much loved memory. He was even more surprised when he started to go slowly up and down on Magnus’ cock that he still loved it as much as he had back then. Just a body memory he told himself, but it didn’t change his desire or pleasure at doing this, at having this again. He had thought he would never see Magnus again and certainly never have this again. He felt a bit like a thirsty man who had found water in the desert; he didn’t care he wasn’t supposed to want this. He just knew he wanted Magnus in any way he could have him.

Alec used one hand to fondle Magnus’ balls the way he knew he liked, smiling around the Warlock’s cock when the combination of his mouth, tongue and his hand made Magnus have to strangle a moan – just the way Alec wanted, just like he remembered Magnus used to do when he did that.

“That’s it,” Magnus got out, breathless, his cat eyes aglow with desire and passion, as he took his free hand to Alec’s neck and pressed him down further.

Now it was Alec who had to contain a moan at feeling Magnus’ power and desire. It was somehow easy like this; to give in. He could tell himself he had no choice and if he had no choice then it was ok to enjoy it, wasn’t it? Then it wasn’t wrong to want Magnus even like this. He shifted a bit as his pants got way too tight, moving up and down on Magnus’ cock with fervor.

“You can go deeper,” Magnus ordered, his voice heavy with desire.

Alec intensified his efforts, fighting his gag reflex as he took Magnus further and further down until he hit the back of his throat. Tears came to his eyes and he had to pull back, relieved when Magnus allowed it yet kept a hand on his neck. He took a few breaths, looking at Magnus, seeing his desire, the heat in his eyes. There was a hidden softness behind the desire in Magnus’ eyes that had Alec get lost and he lose himself completely in the moment, to the pleasure he had always gotten from pleasing Magnus, from giving him this. Forgetting where they were, why they were here, Alec held Magnus’ gaze as he went back down on his cock, taking him deeper and deeper before moving back up, using his hands to add further friction.

“Fuck. Your mouth always felt divine,” Magnus praised hoarsely, his tone filled with lust.

Even after all these months Alec could tell when Magnus was close, could sense it in how his body tensed. As he felt Magnus get closer, he wondered if he should pull off. He had swallowed before but wasn’t a huge fan of doing so, but he knew Magnus liked it. Their eyes caught and Magnus’ eyes held a challenge mixed in with his desire. Alec was never one to back away from a challenge. He went further down on Magnus’ cock in response to that silent challenge, enjoying the increased arousal and something else, something tender, he saw reflecting in Magnus’ eyes when he did so.

“Yes!” Magnus cried as he came explosively down Alec’s throat.

Alec tried to sallow as best as he could, pulling back as soon as he felt Magnus remove his hand from his neck. He took some deep calming breaths as he swallowed what he still had in his mouth. His eyes caught Magnus’ and he saw the afterglow of his orgasm there. There was a softness now, a vulnerability to Magnus’ expression that hadn’t been there before. Alec found that the passing of time or maybe their situation he wasn’t sure…but he rather enjoyed swallowing what Magnus had given him. It felt like a victory somehow that he had accepted Magnus’ silent challenge and won.

Alec became aware he was still very hard and that he had tears on his cheeks and cum and saliva at the corners of his mouth. He wiped his face and mouth with the back of a hand, looking away from Magnus for a moment, fighting to find balance between his embaressement at what had happened, at having enjoyed it and the sheer joy he still felt at having this back, at having something, anything back of Magnus, even like this.

Magnus reached down and stroked Alec's cheek with a softness that stole Alec's breath and made his heart hurt, before taking a gentle grip on his chin, tipping his face up to look at him.

“Shouldn’t you thank me for being allowed to do this again, after what you did to me? To see me this exposed after how you betrayed me?” Magnus asked, his voice soft but holding an edge of darkness.

“Thank you,” Alec said softly, his voice raw and hoarse from the blowjob.

Alec blushed and lowered his eyes to the floor, feeling embarrassed and shy suddenly mostly because he found he did actually want to thank him though he was unsure precisely why.

“Good boy,” Magnus praised with a tenderness that seemed to surprise them both.

Alec was unable to hide his pleasure at the compliment, making Magnus look puzzled at him for a moment. Magnus' expression softened and he stroked Alec's cheek before he went back to combing through his hair in a way Alec convinced himself was loving. Alec leaned against Magnus’ leg and when he magic’d him a drink he sipped it, happy to get rid of the bitter aftertaste on his tongue, convincing himself the drink was another sign of Magnus’ hidden care for him. Maybe if he played his cards right, he could both have Magnus and save his people, save Idris. Alec was smiling softly to himself as he got lost in the soft music and Magnus’ gentle touch, happy with his plan.

Alec was unaware he had fallen asleep until he realized he was being lifted and carried, bridal style. For a moment he panicked, unsure who was carrying him. When Alec saw it was Magnus carrying him with the aid of his magic to make it effortless, he relaxed, still half asleep, thinking this was just like in a dream he had often had. He smiled softly and put his arms around Magnus’ neck, snuggling contently against his shoulder.

“Shh,” Magnus said tenderly and something between love and despair, hurt and anger, flashed across Magnus’ face.

Seeing this made Alec wonder _why_ Magnus was carrying him; made him hope it meant Magnus still cared. Before Alec could ask about that or the conflicting emotions he had seen flash across the Warlock’s face, could ask him anything at all, a wave of blue magic hit him, making him go back to sleep.

The next thing Alec knew he was lying in bed, his head on Magnus’ chest and his arms protectively and possessively around him. He smiled to himself and snuggled even closer, his heart filled with joy and warmth, still halfway thinking he was dreaming for he had dreamed of sleeping inside Magnus' embrace every night since he had lost him. He wanted to say _I love you_ , feeling happy and at peace for the first time since he had broken up with Magnus. Since he had broken his heart to save his life as Asmodeus so cruelly had demanded of him. He wasn’t sure if he ever did say the words or he only thought them. He was smiling in his sleep all night long as he pressed himself close to the Warlock, forgetting for a moment how things had changed, his dreams filled with the life they had once had and the life they could have had.

_The end of chapter 1_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Please do let me know if you want to read more of this....Would mean a lot to me. 💛💛**  
>  If you like this story you will likely enjoy:  
> Captive Angels; Victorious Demons: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21499168  
> You Belong To Me: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25017259  
> Or some of my other Malec fics: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nadja_Lee/works?fandom_id=6856609


	2. Traitorous Hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec befriends Lorenzo the lizard and try to accept his new life with Magnus. He and Magnus reconnect in a primal way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to my beta readers as always.  
> Warnings for this chapter: Magical blast, lizard is slightly injured, anal sex, some dirty talk, some hard sex, orgasm control/denial, angst - like tons of it, misunderstandings - tons of that too, people cry (lizard cry too). Not sure what else to warn for...  
> This was going to be a short story but clearly I do not understand that concept!

_Please read the chapter notes for detailed warnings_

# Chapter 2: Traitorous Hearts

The next few days Alec tried to accept his new life. It was a struggle in some ways and yet easy in others.

The Shadowhunter in him, the leader in him, the parabatai and the brother had a hard time accepting his life was just this; staying at the loft with no say or influence in the war that was drawing closer and closer each day. Magnus sometimes had Downworlders over to the loft, sometimes his father. However, he mostly took those meetings in his office with closed doors, so Alec got little news from the outside world. He had heard a few things here and there before the doors had been shut; Jace was the biggest problem for Magnus and his allies and knowing that made Alec oddly proud. With his pure angel-blood Jace was a great warrior and apparently after Asmodeus had taken him and Izzy presumably had told Jace about it, then Jace had been even more fierce and determined to prevent Idris from falling.

Clary’s rune making abilities had helped them a lot and Alec assumed she had continued to help with her unique abilities. In particular her ability to create portals was a huge help. However, early on during the growing conflict between Idris and the Downworld, Clary had been in a brutal battle that had proven to her and everyone else that while she was Nephilim, she was raised Mundane. She had grown into a fierce warrior and could hold her own in a fight, but her mind and spirit were more Mundane than Nephilim. She had not been trained as a warrior since birth as Nephilim were and the violence, death and blood had become too much for her. She now no longer took part in battles but aided back safely in Alicante with logistics and strategies as well as helping to organize hospitals. With Clary’s help Idris had started to use modern Mundane medicine and technologies whenever possible which had improved the efficiency and effectiveness of the defense Idris and the Institutes around the world could mount. So far, till Alec had been captured, Idris had been on the defensive. Alec hoped they would continue doing so, hoping that by not being aggressive it would still be possible to negotiate with Magnus and the Downworld for peace. However, the Clave had till the very day Alec had been taken still held out, not wanting to do what Alec had suggested which was to offer complete equality in return for peace.

Alec had felt Jace’s worry and concern in the parabatai bond and had sent reassuring vibes to him which did little to calm the blond warrior, his worry a constant echo in the back of Alec’s mind. Alec couldn’t blame him; if Jace had been taken he would not be reassured till he was safely back either.

He wished he could reassure Izzy and Max, let them know he was ok, but he knew Jace would tell them what he could feel in the bond from him. Max was in Alicante and would be safe, but Izzy would be here in New York and thus he worried most for her and for Jace; both fighting on the frontlines. However, Asmodeus’ words to Magnus that only Magnus were allowed to hurt him or his family reassured Alec, ever hopeful that he would be able to reach Magnus somehow so that he wouldn’t hurt his family and friends even if he had the opportunity to do so.

It was frustrating and odd as a warrior and leader to be sitting this important moment in Shadow World history out, but Alec realized he might have a unique position now to actually influence things, maybe even more so than he ever could have done as Leader of the New York Institute. Magnus hadn’t talked to him at all since he had broken up with him and he hadn’t allowed him to address anything about the breakup or their past so far but Alec was hopeful maybe he could reach Magnus without breaking his deal with Asmodeus.

However, just as hard as it was for him as a warrior, Shadowhunter and leader to stay here with Magnus at his loft during such troubling times, then as a man and a Nephilim desperately longing for the one person he loved more than life itself, staying here was the easiest thing Alec had ever. He had been running on fumes for months, ever since he had been forced to break Magnus’ heart. He had gone through the motions, but he had been dead inside, desperate to reach Magnus. Knowing how Magnus had been hurt by him, by his words…it tore him up inside. He longed to ease Magnus’ pain, but he couldn’t break the deal he had made. He had an opportunity now to try and make up for the pain he had caused the Warlock and he was determined to do just that.

It wasn’t all that hard for him to do whatever Magnus ordered. He was used to orders; he had always been good at following them, feeling safe within them as it gave him a clear structure and an opportunity to ensure he did well. It was made easier when he noticed that Magnus often seemed softer, more like the Magnus he had once been, whenever he gave in to him. Alec ignored the voice in his head that whispered he shouldn’t be wanting Magnus under these circumstances. He ignored that voice in his head that warned him that he could be seeing what he wanted; the Magnus he had fallen in love with could be completely gone, replaced by a true Prince of Hell. However, Alec had had to admit and realize that even if Magnus had changed for good then his feelings for him would never change. Prince of Hell or not; Alec loved him. Completely. Always. To a degree that almost frightened him with its devotion and intensity. With the lengths he was willing to go to just to have whatever little part of Magnus he could get.

There were times where Alec could have sworn he saw the old Magnus. Hints of tenderness, of love. But Magnus always covered it up. So far the only intimacy they had done was him giving Magnus blowjobs and sometimes Magnus would jerk him off or have him do it himself. But no matter how it happened then the sex itself was always dominating, controlling and Alec found his body reacted to that in a way he hadn’t quite expected. He had thought even if his feelings for Magnus were the same then his body would react to the changing dynamics between them. As Magnus had been Alec’s first and only lover, even his first kiss, the Warlock had taken the lead. As time had passed Alec had gotten more bold and better able to say what he wanted. However, even now, here, being with Magnus sexually turned him on. He had always struggled with feelings of inferiority and fear of failing. He found sex was a lot easier when Magnus told him directly what he wanted, how he wanted it. Alec found it made it easy for him to give in and enjoy it. Being given an order somehow made it ok to enjoy it, even now, here, under these circumstances.

While Alec had quickly come to enjoy the sex, then he had even quicker come to love the care after the sex. Magnus was tender and loving then in a way he never was otherwise. It was as close to what they had had before that they came, and Alec clung to that. He saw it as a sign that Magnus’ affections were still there, somewhere hidden under his possessiveness and his sexual desire. That he cared, even loved him. For surely how else could he hold such contempt and almost hate as he saw in his eyes at times? How could he wish to all but annihilate all of Idris if not that fury came from a deep pain, a pain that only could be caused by love?

Magnus had the loft magically locked down so there was no way Alec could escape or send any messages. As a testament to his faith in his own power Magnus had already the day after Alec arrived left him alone in the loft to go deal with various issues for a few hours. He had allowed Alec to walk around freely and take any food or drink he wanted; only Magnus’ office was off-limits, and the Warlock had quite pointedly magically locked the door to that room. Alec had pointed out that he didn’t have to do that; he would stay out if ordered to do so, but Magnus had reminded him that he couldn’t trust him. His words had hurt but made Alec determined to somehow prove to Magnus that he _could_ trust him.

In the hours where Alec was left alone he tried to keep busy somehow so he didn’t spend the whole time worrying about Jace and his siblings or longing for the love and trust he had once had with Magnus in this very space he was now living in. Alec got reacquainted with Magnus’ loft, trying not to get too emotional thinking of the past.

With no one else to keep him company he had focused on Lorenzo, his heart breaking for the agony it must be to have been locked inside an animal’s body for months and months, with no way to speak, with no escape….Asmodeus had been right that it was so much crueler than to just have killed him. While Alec had never cared much for Lorenzo as a Warlock then he hadn’t deserved this; no one did.

At first Alec just talking softly to the abused lizard and then, when Lorenzo stopped hiding from him, he had tried to pick him up. At first the lizard had been so afraid he had been shaking violently and had just been curled up in a small ball in Alec’s hands. Then, after so many months of not knowing a gentle touch, the lizard had started to eagerly seek out Alec’s kind caring. As soon as Alec was alone and reached for him in his glass cage the lizard would happily and eagerly now jump into his hands. Lorenzo the lizard would snuggle against Alec’s hand and stay in his hand or on his shoulder while Alec would speak softly to him, starting to call the lizard friend for he had no one else to talk to. He would talk to the lizard about his love for Magnus, his pain at having hurt him, his fear for Jace and his siblings, his hope he could reach Magnus and make him understand he loved him. Lorenzo couldn’t respond to him in this form, but he would rub against him to confront him when he cried for the pain and betrayal Magnus had to be feeling, or whenever he felt worried or concerned. Alec tried to device a system for Lorenzo to communicate with him and would ask him simple questions that the lizard could answer by nodding his head or rubbing against him. In this way Alec understood when the lizard was thirsty, and he would make him fresh water in a small bowl in the kitchen and feed him small pieces of human food as well.

It had almost broken Alec’s heart when one of the first things the lizard had tried to communicate to him was his desire to die, to not keep living like this, in this form. Alec knew it was selfish and admitted as much to Lorenzo, but he couldn’t get himself to kill him. It would have been easy enough for Alec to do so; just snap the lizard’s neck. But he couldn’t do it. Lorenzo was his friend now and instead he swore to the lizard he would find a way to save him, to make him human again. Alec hadn’t known lizards could cry till Lorenzo had cried at the news Alec wouldn’t kill him, making Alec cry as well but still unable to do it, determined to save him. Somehow.

The first evening Alec had been at the loft he had thought maybe making Magnus recall their past love would help. So, in the hours Magnus had been gone Alec had decided to make a meal he had once made for Magnus that he had liked. Alec had hoped the sight and smell of the meal would make Magnus remember he loved him, remember their love. The food had made Magnus remember alright, just not the way Alec had hoped. He had been standing in the kitchen, the food on trays when Magnus entered. Alec had been smiling almost triumphantly as he had asked Magnus if he wanted some, waving to the meal he had prepared. He had with practice become quite a good cook; he knew Magnus loved this dish. For a moment Magnus had looked at first the meal and then Alec with such love and tenderness Alec’s heart had almost burst. Then something had flashed across Magnus’ face; loss, fear, hurt….agony, pure and deep agony unlike any Alec had ever seen in a person still breathing. Within moments Magnus had covered the pain with cold fury, his face a mask of indifference. He had abruptly left the loft even though he had only just returned, saying he wasn’t hungry, leaving Alec standing there, alone, watching him leave, watching him walk away…. Alec had been reminded of the day he had broken Magnus’ heart to save his life, the pain of seeing him walk away, the pain of losing him…. It had all come back to him and he had had to fight not to cry. It was so stupid, so silly…after everything he had endured to cry over something like this? It was just a stupid dinner!

The lizard had come out from his hiding place when Magnus had left, watching Alec through the glass. Then the lizard had tapped the glass to get Alec’s attention. Alec had smiled through the tears he didn’t know he was shredding and had picked up the lizard in his hands, smiling fondly when the lizard wrapped its whole body, including its long tail, as well as it could around one of his thumbs and wrist, hugging him as well as a lizard could. Alec had sat down on the floor in the kitchen, petting the lizard, smiling through his tears as he had told Lorenzo everything would be alright. It would be alright. He didn’t know how but he had to keep trying. The lizard had cried then and hugged his body closer to Alec and Alec had known Lorenzo had been crying for him. Alec had ended up feeding a bit of the food to the lizard and throwing the rest of it out, not feeling up for eating anything that day.

Alec got more careful after that, trying to think of ways he could try and temper Magnus’ fury so he might reconsider this war. So far, the only thing that seemed to sooth Magnus’ rage was sex which wasn’t really a hardship for Alec if he had to be honest. He had missed Magnus’ body; he had missed his touch. He had missed that connection. Snuggling up to Magnus afterwards was the closest to Heaven Alec had ever come. If he ignored everything else, just felt Magnus’ arms around him, the way he would stroke his hair…he could imagine Magnus still loved him. That everything was the way it had once been. However, Magnus still made him sleep after, the soft moment afterwards always way too short for what Alec wanted and always brief enough that barely any words were spoken, just like the first time.

The one thing Alec was not in doubt about when it came to Magnus was that he had clearly missed him as well, at least physically. He reacted to him, wanted him…Alec wanted to take that as a sign Magnus still cared, that he still had feelings. He knew people could have sex without love. He couldn’t; Magnus was everything to him. But he told himself that when it came to him then it was more than lust or need or possession or power. That Magnus cared too, loved him too. If not, why be so gentle afterwards? He had to love him, right?

Alec had counted the sunsets he had seen through the windows in the loft as a way to tell time and he had now been at the loft for eleven days. It was a bit hard to tell as Magnus sometimes magically changed the view and didn’t keep to any particular sleep pattern or work rhythm, but it was his best guess. Besides sex then Magnus in general didn’t ask much of him. Alec had thought maybe Magnus would want to show him off, humiliate him…the defeated Nephilim. He had overheard Asmodeus suggest it and had had to fight down his hatred for the guy who was partly responsible for this whole mess. Thankfully, Magnus had claimed he didn’t like sharing his toys, so he wanted Alec to himself. Alec had been embarrassed and hurt to be referred to as a toy but again he told himself he had hurt Magnus. That if he did right, somehow, he could make up for it. He clung to that thought and even managed to tell himself Magnus’s response was because he cared for him, that he didn’t want to do that to him. When Alec was alone, talking to the lizard about his fears and worries he could have sworn he had seen sadness in the lizard’s face when Alec had explained that Magnus loved him like he loved him. That it would all be ok. The lizard had almost seemed…sympathetic and sad for him. Odd for Alec felt Lorenzo’s fate was heartbreaking so he failed to see how come the once proud Warlock could possibly feel sympathy for him when he felt his own fate wasn’t that bad; he had a small piece of Magnus after all and that made up for anything and everything.

Magnus had left for a meeting with some vampires only an hour ago so after talking to Lorenzo, petting him, and feeding him, Alec had put him back in the glass cage. As always these days Lorenzo got sad when Alec put him down while Magnus was away, desperate for Alec’s kind attention and soft touch. Alec had promised Lorenzo he would pick him up again, but he needed to shower and change before Magnus returned home. It wasn’t safe to keep Lorenzo out of his glass cage if he was too far from the cage to quickly put him back in case Magnus was home early. It had happened once, and Alec had been horrified and saddened when Magnus had seemed furious at seeing the lizard in Alec’s hands. He had magically blasted Lorenzo out of Alec’s hands and clean acorss the room, making Lorenzo bump against a wall. Magnus had then magic’d the lizard back into the glass cage where Lorenzo had quicky hidden behind some small stones in his cage, shaking in fear. If Alec hadn’t known better, he would have said Magnus had been jealous of the care and concern Alec had shown the lizard. So, with that in mind Alec had forced himself to ignore the soft whimpers from the lizard until Magnus left the loft the next day. Alec had been relieved to check Lorenzo for injuries and find that though the lizard was bruised and limping a bit on his right leg then there was no other damage from the magical blast. So, these days Alec took no chances; he couldn’t and wouldn’t allow Lorenzo to get hurt again! He might not have Idris or his siblings or his parabatai to protect and care for and so far, Magnus had refused any and all of his attempts to care for him. But he would at least protect Lorenzo as best as he could!

Alec had just come out of the bathroom and was drying himself off while looking at the clothes in the closet with a slight frown. Magnus had magic’d him a wardrobe, all with tight and sexy outfits. He was starting to learn to accept it even if his personal preference for clothes was loose hanging to allow for better movement. However, at the end of the day his clothes really were the least of his concerns.

Alec tied the towel around his hips and was just about to reach for a shirt when Magnus entered the bedroom, looking very displeased. Alec had to bite his lower lip to not ask him what was wrong, what had happened. At times he forgot they were…What were they? Enemies? No; Alec could never see Magnus as his enemy, no matter what. Friends then? Well, that required mutual trust. He supposed he should think of Magnus as his captor and jailor but that didn’t sit right with him even if it was closer to the truth than any of the others.

For a moment they just looked at each other as Magnus fought to get his anger under control. However, what really tore at Alec’s heart was the hint of pain and just a sense of being lost Alec saw flicker over Magnus’ face. Whatever Magnus had wanted to achieve, or do today it clearly hadn’t gone the way he wanted. Alec knew he should he pleased with that; Magnus was a threat to Idris after all. Instead Alec reached out a hand towards Magnus without really knowing what he was doing, an encouraging and soft look in his eyes, just wanting to ease his burdens.

Magnus reached for Alec without thinking but then froze and stopped himself. What was he doing?! Just a few days ago Alec had been fuzzing over the damn lizard! Now he was trying to ensnare him by pretending to care that his meeting with the vampires hadn’t gone the way he wanted it to! He had to remind himself that Alec wasn’t the innocent boy he looked like right now. That the vulnerability and care he saw in Alec’s face was just pretend. He forced himself to recall how Alec hadn’t told him of the Soul Sword and how he had broken up with him when he had lost everything. Just the memory made Magnus’ eyes flash with hurt and then rage. He had been nothing but a toy for Alec to play with; a tool for him to fulfill his goals! Well, the tables had turned now! Magnus would prove to him that Alec couldn’t trick him again; couldn’t deceive him by pretending to care!

Magnus’ expression went from lost and open to angry and closed.

“Come here, Alexander,” Magnus ordered sharply, hating himself for allowing himself to slip, to even for a second feel something for Alec.

Fool me once….but fool me twice…Magnus let his heart and his stare harden, letting only his desire and possession take hold, pushing everything else aside. He was a Prince of Hell and he wouldn’t be a Nephilim’s plaything, a tool, a toy, ever again! He would prove to Alec, to himself, that he was the one in control this time! He was! He! Not Alec.

Alec had a weird feeling Magnus was angrier with himself for slipping up, for being vulnerable before him, than he was upset with him. He found himself walking over to Magnus as ordered without realizing he was even moving, just drawn to him the way he had been drawn to him the first time he had laid eyes on him. He was a bit nervous and a bit excited. He had quickly learned that sex seemed to be how to calm Magnus down, so he was fairly sure he knew what the Warlock wanted. He guessed he should be afraid or upset….likely both. He wasn’t either. He was….happy they were together, even like this. He kept telling himself that he could show Magnus he loved him and if not in any other way then through sex. He shouldn’t love Magnus that much; he was sure a lot of people would tell him that. But he really didn’t care. He had Magnus and even having a tiny piece of him, even if it were just sex then he had that and he would treasure that. He would prove to Magnus he was loved. It felt so right to be back in Magnus’ arms that he really didn’t care about what others might say or think. He loved Magnus, always, and he would make him see that, somehow.

“Yes?” Alec asked softly as he stood in front of Magnus.

Alec had to lick suddenly dry lips at the intense and heated gaze Magnus was giving him, filled with dark desire. Magnus reached out a hand and touched Alec’s cheek so tenderly Alec was shocked for a moment. Normally Magnus was only ever gentle with him after sex, not before. However, Alec eagerly leaned into the touch, enjoying it, fighting down the pang of longing and pain at knowing these gentle touches were so few and far between. The Warlock looked so lost and pained for a moment Alec’s heart broke for him.

Magnus felt himself forget, again, the pain Alec had brought him, his traitorous heart aching to sooth the pain he saw in Alec’s eyes, the longing. Before he had known what he was doing he was touching him so softly as if he was the most fragile and precious thing in the whole world and if you had asked Magnus at that moment he would have said Alec was just that; he _so_ was! Then Magnus remembered; remembered who Alec truly was! His lies and his deceit! How he had betrayed him. He pulled his hand back as if burned by the touch and his expression closed and darkened once more.

“Go face the wall,” Magnus ordered sharply, nodding towards it, ignoring the pained and hurt look in Alec’s eyes. He had to regain control; show Alec and himself he had this situation in hand. He wasn’t weak!

Alec was a bit confused by the change in Magnus but quickly moved to the wall. He couldn’t help but feel a hint of excitement, his cock starting to swell. They had had sex up against this wall several times before…well, before Magnus had sacrificed himself and his magic for Jace. The memories of that made him relieved he was looking at the wall and not Magnus as his erection was now clearly visible through the towel. So far Magnus hadn’t wanted more from him than blowjobs; in a chair, on the bed, in the shower….but they hadn’t done other things than that. The thought of having Magnus inside of him again was almost enough to make him come; he had fantasized to those memories for months and he moaned at the thought of finally having that connection with him again.

“Put your hands on the wall and spread your legs,” Magnus ordered as he walked up behind him, feeling his pants getting tighter as he recalled having done this before. Back before…his passion mixed with pain and fury as he once again remembered Alec’s betrayal. Remembered how Alec had manipulated him into giving up everything for his parabatai and then he had left him! Left him!

Blushing a bit even as he felt his cock harden even further Alec hastily obeyed. As he put his hands flat on the wall Magnus came up behind him and with a quick hand movement, Magnus pulled the towel away, leaving Alec naked and exposed. However, before he had time to feel cold or even think too much about anything Magnus was holding him, his chest plastered against his back, his lips nibbling along his nape, one arm around his torso and the other covering one of his hands on the wall. Alec had to strangle a moan of desire when he felt Magnus’ cock rub against his ass, the feel of fabric indicating Magnus had only pulled his cock out, leaving his pants on. Alec felt himself get even harder as he imagined it was for the same reason as when they had done this the first time; because Magnus had wanted to be inside him so much he hadn’t had the patience to undress and Alec had begged him to get on with it like that, without using magic to remove his clothes, turned on by feeling this proof of Magnus’ desire for him.

“Like that?” Alec asked breathlessly, moaning as Magnus continued to kiss, suck and bite marks into his neck and shoulders.

A part of Alec’s brain reminded him he should likely take offence to the clear marking Magnus was doing whenever he saw an opportunity to do so. Yet he couldn’t be bothered. In fact, he liked it. He was embarrassed to admit how much he liked being able to see Magnus’ marks and bruises on his body. It was the only tangible proof of Magnus’ love and desire he had left, and he cherished it as such.

“Perfect. You do look amazing,” Magnus mumbled lustfully as he kept kissing and biting the skin on Alec’s neck, leaving possessive marks all over, making sure to leave most marks over Alec’s deflect rune, enjoying the symbolic show of his power and claim coming before anything else, even Heaven.

Alec moaned, feeling himself harden even further when Magnus rubbed his hard cock against him, teasing him with each movement. Alec closed his eyes, giving himself over to the desire and need. These moments were the best he had had since that fateful day he had done what Asmodeus had wanted and had left Magnus when he had been the weakest. In these moments Alec could forget his shame and his pain. Forget his fears for Jace and his siblings. Forget that the future of the Shadow World hang in the balance. He could just feel.

Magnus started to stroke Alec’s cock with a hand while he rutted against him, making Alec’s desire and need increase, getting lost in his lust and desire, a welcomed escape from how complicated life had become.

“Magnus…” Alec got out softly, the name a prayer.

“Go ahead, darling. I want to hear you,” Magnus ordered as he nibbled at his ear, his voice filled with arousal and need, the beloved nickname slipping out unnoticed in his passion.

Alec had to fight tears at hearing the familiar nickname, mentally shaking his head, fighting to deny the memories it brought and instead focus on the pleasure running through his body.

“Please,” Alec begged as he bucked up into Magnus’ hand to get more friction, seeking to get lost in these feelings so he could stop thinking, stop remembering.

Magnus felt a shiver of desire run through him. He had always loved how easily Alec had been able to give himself to him sexually. He used to think it was a symbol of his love and devotion. However, now that he knew Alec had tricked him, he would instead take his submission and his passion in the only way that couldn’t lie. No matter what Alec might say then Magnus could feel his passion and desire, how his body was seeking his, was melting under his, giving into him. That was something Alec couldn’t hide or lie or betray him with. He soaked it up, all of it, pretending for a moment that the ease with which Alec gave in to his body was a sign of love and affection. It was a dangerous daydream, but one Magnus couldn’t help but toy with, despite his hurt and his fury. What a lovely dream…the dream that Alec’s affections had ever been real, could be real.

“Please what?” Magnus demanded, his voice holding an edge of power that had Alec shiver with desire.

“Please make me forget. Please fuck me so hard, so deep it is all I can think about,” Alec got out, his voice filled with pain and need.

Alec angrily blinked away the traitorous tears at the corner of his eyes as he fought away the memories of when Magnus had fucked him like this before, at a time when things had been different. Magnus had been different, he had been different…he forced the thoughts and feelings away and tried to push back towards Magnus, to encourage him to get on with it. He wanted to forget, get lost in pleasure and desire.

“Now that I can do,” Magnus promised with dark desire as he pulled back from him, admiring the naked Nephilim for a moment.

Despite it all then Alec was _his_ Nephilim! _His_! He would show him that. Magnus blinked away tears that threatened to come to his eyes as he recalled fucking Alec like this before, at a time when he had thought Alec had loved him, when he had believed it. Such a beautiful dream but a dream was all it had been. Damn it! This time he wasn’t anyone’s fool! Alec belonged to him now; he was no longer Alec’s pet Warlock! Never again! Alec was his and he would show him that!

Alec spread his legs a bit further apart for better leverage, trying to get Magnus to move quicker by wiggling a bit. He heard the familiar sound as Magnus’ snapped his fingers and magically lubed them.

“Fuck!” Alec got out when Magnus pushed one finger inside of him, not used to being breached after having been alone for so many months, fighting to relax his muscles at the sudden intrusion.

It burned a bit a first but soon the one finger wasn’t enough, making Alec feel empty and still way too clear-headed. He pushed back, wanting more. His head still held too many thoughts. Too many memories. He needed more. More! He needed more of everything to disappear. To shut up the voices in his head.

Magnus saw the way Alec was eagerly taking his finger and felt his own desire skyrocket at the sight. He needed to be inside him, claim him, make him as his. His brain was still too filled with memories, good memories or so he had thought of their past love, mocking him with what an idiot he had been! The need to forget combined with Alec’s eagerness had Magnus quickly move up to three fingers. However, despite his eagerness and Alec’s desperate moans and pleas for him to do more Magnus waited with withdrawing his fingers till he felt Alec was properly stretched, not able, not willing, to hurt him like that, despite his fury, despite his hurt, despite everything.

When Magnus withdrew his fingers and magically lubed his cock Alec pushed impatiently back towards him. Magnus didn’t let him wait long. It burned enough to pull a small gasp from him when the Warlock pushed inside. Alec felt the burn mix with pleasure and tried to hold on to something, but the wall was smooth. He fisted his hands and dug his nails into his palms to ground himself somehow, his cock heavy between his legs.

“So tight!” Magnus moaned, sounding breathless as he pushed further inside, putting one hand over one of Alec’s on the wall, giving him something to hold on to, the grip grounding and solid, calming and possessive.

“By the Angel!” Alec got out when Magnus finally bottomed out, closing his fingers around Magnus’ hand covering his as best as he could, feeling oddly safe and cared for by having Magnus to hold on to.

For a moment Magnus didn’t move, surprising Alec by letting him get used to him again. Then, as he was about to beg for more the Warlock started up a deep and fast rhythm, hitting Alec’s prostate on each thrust.

“Fuck!” Alec cried out, the pain of the burn mixing with intense pleasure, drowning out the confusion and the voices in his head, finally.

“How long has it been for you? You feel so tight; so good around my cock,” Magnus moaned lustfully as he pulled out only to push forcefully back in.

Magnus wasn’t sure why he asked, why he would torment himself with the question. The idea of anyone else but him even considering touching Alec made him furious and he of course couldn’t trust Alec to be truthful. Yet he had to ask, wanting to be the only one who ever had and ever would touch Alec. Ever! He knew, now, it had likely all been a lie. The whole shy blushing virgin thing but he wanted for a few moments to indulge in the fantasy of having Alec completely, once, and forever.

“Since…fuck…since you. There has never been anyone but you,” Alec got out, breathless, his cock leaking precome, his brain turning to mush as his world started and stopped with Magnus’ cock, with each movement he made.

“What? But that was over a year ago,” Magnus said surprised, almost slowing down, feeling some of his rage and feelings of betrayal slipping away.

It had to be a trick, a lie. But Magnus liked the lie, he had always liked Alec’s lies about being his first and only everything, about loving him, about loving all parts of him, also the demonic parts.

“I know,” Alec got out, pushing back when Magnus slowed down, needing more to keep his head fuzzy, to not start to think of how miserable he had been this last year without Magnus.

Feeling Alec push back on his cock had Magnus moan with pleasure and pick up speed again.

“Fuck!” Magnus moaned as desire washed through him.

“Deeper! Harder!” Alec got out, feeling himself getting close and yet still so far away.

“By Edom!” Magnus groaned as he pushed harshly back into his lover.

Alec felt his eyes roll to the back of his head in pleasure, feeling himself getting close and yet not quite there. Unsure of the rules of whatever it was they had going on but knowing well the price of disobedience Alec tried to find the way to voice what he needed.

“I want to…can I…” Alec got out, blushing at how needy he sounded, his voice hoarse and low from desire.

Magnus knew this was his moment; his moment to show Alec he wasn’t his slave any longer! He could hear the need in Alec’s voice and it only increased his own.

“I want to hear you beg,” Magnus grunted darkly, his voice a low whisper in Alec’s ear, sending shivers of desire through them both.

Begging Magnus for anything had always come easy to Alec and the order only heightened his desire. After the pain he had inflicted on Magnus Alec would gladly beg him for anything, hoping against all hope Magnus would see it as the sign of love and trust that it was.

“Please…please I want to come,” Alec begged desperately, feeling his desire skyrocket at having to beg for his release, feeling immensely satisfied and proud of himself for doing it, for giving Magnus this, the closest to saying _I love you_ he had come since the breakup.

“Like that?” Magnus asked as he started to pump Alec’s cock with a hand in the same rhythm as he pushed in and out of him, pressing Alec as close to the wall as he could while still being able to move his hand over Alec’s cock.

“Fuck yes!” Alec cried, getting lost in the pleasure and the burn of the brutal thrusts of his lover.

Just when Alec felt himself so close to the edge, he was seconds from tipping over Magnus removed his hand from his cock.

“No,” Magnus said darkly as he moved his hand to Alec’s hip instead.

Magnus felt himself soar with power and righteous satisfaction. Alec would know he was in control now. He would make sure Alec would never try and trick him ever again!

“What?” Alec got out, confused, moaning with desire, his cock dripping with the need for release, as he turned to look at Magnus as best as he could in his current position.

Magnus pushed him up against the wall, trapping him completely between himself and the wall, Alec’s cheek touching the smooth surface. There was something oddly arousing at feeling Magnus’ power like this, pinned against the wall as the Warlock kept fucking him at the pace he wanted.

“Come untouched or not at all,” Magnus demanded harshly in a voice filled with withheld desire, power echoing in every word of his order.

Alec’s confusion at the order disappeared in waves of pleasure as Magnus kept fucking him. He had never come untouched before, but he really wanted to, for Magnus, to show him he could give him that. Alec moaned as pleasure washed over him at each hard thrust Magnus was doing into him, almost lifting him up on his toes. He would be sore for days after this and that knowledge, that he would be feeling Magnus like that inside, made his desire increase.

“I…I don’t think….Fuck,” Alec got out, feeling his cock smearing precome against the wall, blushing at knowing he was doing that, feeling close but not close enough.

“Go on. I know you can do it,” Magnus demanded, his voice filled with lustful power and an odd kind of pride, of certainty Alec could do this, that pushed Alec even closer to the edge.

“Fuck!” Alec cried as Magnus pushed particularly deep inside of him.

He couldn’t recall having ever felt so full, so turned on in his life. He was sure sitting down tomorrow would sting and he felt an odd satisfaction of thinking about it. So much so he tried to push back against Magnus to take even more of him inside. However, Magnus had him firmly pinned against the wall, preventing any movement.

“Come for me,” Magnus ordered, the words spoken in a soft whisper against Alec’s ear that was at odds with the brutal fucking, making Alec shiver with the power and lust in the words.

However, what pushed Alec over the edge was the hint of care Alec thought he heard in Magnus’ tone.

“Fuck!” Alec cried as came, feeling his whole body shake with the intensity of his orgasm as he painted the wall white.

Despite his certainty Alec could do it seeing Alec come for him, untouched, something he had never done before…it was beautiful and awe-inspiring and it was Magnus’ undoing as love, pride, humility, lust, passion….everything crashed over him in waves as the feeling of Alec tightening around his cock as well as the gesture itself sent him over the edge too.

“Damn!” Magnus mumbled, coming almost against his will, the orgasm forced out of him, as he emptied himself deep inside Alec, biting down hard on Alec’s shoulder as a way to try and ground himself in the whirlpool of emotions that was crashing into him.

“Gods,” Alec got out, his legs shaky and weak, blushing at how much he had enjoyed that, how hard he had just come.

For a moment both of them gasped for breath as Magnus kept Alec upright with a strong arm around his torso, the other still around his hand.

Magnus fought to clear his brain, to regain a sense of control. He couldn’t let Alec know he had that control over him, that power. That he had been that affected by him.

“That was just what I needed,” Magnus said satisfied, forcing himself to sound cold as his softened cock slipped out of his lover.

Alec blushed and winced a bit, feeling oddly empty and cold now. Suddenly he felt like crying, unsure why though. He felt torn between the love and pleasure that was still flowing through him from his post-orgasmic haze and hating Magnus for saying that, for cheapening what they had done like that.

“I…” Alec started to say softly, wanting to say something but unsure what so he stopped.

Magnus stiffened, sensing Alec’s sadness, hating himself for feeling guilty at having hurt him with his words. What was wrong with him?! He had to pull himself together. He had to stay in control! He hastily pulled away from Alec, releasing him, taking deep breaths, trying to anchor himself.

Alec was unsure what changed, maybe it was his inability to say something. But suddenly Magnus stepped away from him. Alec fought to keep standing but gave up, his legs too shaky. He fell rather than sat down on the floor, wincing when his ass hit the floor. He looked up at Magnus and their eyes met. There was an unreadable expression in Magnus’ eyes as he rearranged his clothes, leaving Alec the only one naked and exposed in the room.

Alec wasn’t sure what happened but suddenly it all became too much. It all just collapsed. He felt something wet start to run silently down his cheeks even as he fought to stop it. He flushed red with humiliation, wanting nothing more to just curl into a ball and cry.

Magnus looked stunned at Alec, guilt running through him. He told himself this was another trick, it had to be! But his heart wouldn’t let him ignore this, he couldn’t.

“Are you crying?” Magnus asked surprised, trying to hide his worry but doubting he was successful.

“Please….please just leave me alone,” Alec got out, biting his lower lip, fighting to stop the tears as he waved a hand at Magnus to just get him to leave. Why wouldn’t he just leave?!

Magnus knew it was a trick, knew he shouldn’t give in, but he couldn’t help it. Alec looked precisely like the lost, sensitive, and hurt boy Magnus had thought him to be. His heart swelled and he knew what he had to do, despite knowing better, despite that voice in his head screaming at him for being a fool; again!

Alec wasn’t sure what changed or why but suddenly Magnus looked kindly down at him. Before Alec knew what was happening Magnus had used magic to help him pick Alec up, bridal style. Despite still feeling hurt by Magnus’ words Alec found himself putting his arms around Magnus’ neck and hiding his face by his neck, feeling oddly safe now.

“Come here, darling,” Magnus said softly as he carried him towards the bed, kissing the top of his head.

“What?” Alec mumbled against Magnus’ skin, confused, and still feeling embarrassed but his tears had stopped.

Magnus put him down on the bed as tenderly as if he were the most precious thing in the whole world. It made Alec cry again at seeing this sign of the love and trust Magnus had once had for him….until he had betrayed him and broken his heart. Alec wiped angrily at the tears, blushing even further at his own weakness. Magnus waved a hand over him and magically cleaned him up after the sex, making Alec feel a bit better.

“Shh. Just relax,” Magnus insisted softly as he took a blanket from a nearby chair and tugged it tenderly around Alec on the bed.

“Why…why are you being so nice to me?” Alec asked agonized, puzzled, as Magnus sat on the bedside next to him, Alec’s eyes huge and filled with pain, loss, and longing.

Magnus was torn by the question. It seemed so real, so genuine, it made it hard for him to hold on to his hate and fury. Unable to answer, his feelings confused and his heart in turmoil Magnus tried to smile reassuringly at Alec, to calm him, but it came off as sad.

“Don’t be sad,” Alec blurred out before he could stop himself when he saw Magnus’ sad expression, his heart aching at thinking he had caused it.

Alec’s words almost broke Magnus, making it hard to breathe. He stroked Alec’s hair tenderly for a few moments, unaware his hand was shaking a bit.

“Don’t speak. Just sleep. Just sleep, darling,” Magnus said softly, brokenly.

“Please don’t make me sleep again. You always make me sleep,” Alec begged quietly, grabbing hold of one of Magnus’ hands, looking up at him with confusion and love, pain and despair showing on his face.

“It’s ok, darling. Shh,” Magnus said soothingly, his voice catching, a lump in his throat, confused and wrenched by Alec’s reaction, wanting to believe what he was seeing but unable to, the pain, the betrayal too deep, too strong.

The last thing Alec remembered before Magnus waved his hand over his forehead and made him sleep was that it looked like Magnus had tears in the corners of his eyes, making Alec sad Magnus hadn’t let him stay awake so he could have wiped them away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are enjoying the story please do leave a comment. Kudos are also loved. If you have plot ideas or thoughts let me know; as always I shall try and see what I can do to fulfill them. :)


	3. The Lizard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec convinces Magnus to turn Lorenzo human again, but he is left to wonder how much of the Warlock is left after so long living as a lizard....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to my great beta readers as always.  
> Chapter notes: Hair pulling, threats, kneeling, referenced mental issues/mental instability. Lizard still has suicidal thoughts. In general issues with going from being an animal to a human again. And we are doing another dose of angst and misunderstandings. Yeah! LOL

_Please read chapter notes for detailed chapter warnings_

# Chapter 3: The Lizard

As far as Alec could tell another week passed. The days and nights passed remarkably similar. He tried to keep track of time but it was difficult without any clear reference points, made more difficult by Magnus telling him Warlocks’ didn’t need to keep a human circadian rhythm and given the likely coming war he saw no need to keep to one now. When necessary he would hand Alec his steele back so he could activate his stamina rune or other runes so he could keep up with him. Alec didn’t really mind; he had had training sessions where he had trained for hours and hours on end, able to keep going using only runes to avoid both sleep and food.

He worried a lot for Jace and his siblings and the general stability in the Shadow World. Magnus never told him what was going on in the outside world but so far Magnus hadn’t seemed particularly pleased, so he clearly hadn’t gotten what he wanted yet; Idris on its knees. So far, his plans to try and talk Magnus into peace negotiations hadn’t really worked; mainly because he wasn’t allowed much interaction with Magnus if it wasn’t sex and he still always made him sleep afterwards. He both loved and hated that; making him sleep. It made things easier as Magnus would be gone when he woke up, but it also stole his moment of solace.

He sometimes managed to feel, just before Magnus made him sleep, that he would hold him, his arms wrapped around him. It was a gentle touch that almost broke his heart for it echoed so much what they had once had, in this very loft, in the very bed they would be in. Everything they didn’t have now.

The closest to a gentle touch Alec got otherwise was sitting by Magnus’ chair when he was reading or working. It wasn’t always Magnus called for him to do so; sometimes he just went into his office and closed the door. However, sometimes it was as if he got lonely, sad…Alec saw something in Magnus’ eyes he couldn’t quite decipher but it was definitely pain. Until his mask was back in place and he looked cold and distant again.

At first Alec had found it odd and humiliating, to be sitting on the floor by Magnus’ chair as he had done that first day. However, it was only like this that Magnus would touch him so gently, so lovingly. It made Alec enjoy it, even look forward to it. It made him feel almost…cared for. The last few times Magnus had even magic’d him a book to read in his lap while they sat like that. It was an oddly caring thing to do Alec thought, given he was literally kneeling by the Warlock’s feet. Alec had thanked him for it, but Magnus had brushed it off, clearly not wanting to talk about it, claiming he just did it so Alec wouldn’t fall asleep. He had looked angry again; he always looked angry whenever Alec pointed out or thanked him for doing something nice for him. It pained Alec to think he had hurt Magnus so much, but then he had done what had been asked of him very well; _break his heart to save his life_. And he had. He had broken Magnus’ heart utterly and completely and it was clear the pieces would no longer fit together. Like a vase that had been brutally smashed on the floor, splintering into a thousand pieces, it could not simply be glued back together again.

The books Magnus had selected for him were Mundane books, classics he called them. Books Alec had never read before. So far Magnus seemed to have even considered his tastes in selecting books, a fact that encouraged Alec’s hope that beneath the pain and agony that fueled Magnus’ rage there was still love, despite it all. 

So far, Alec had read The Three Musketeers, Pride and Prejudice and The Hunchback of Notre-Dame and had gotten emerged in them all, helping him forget the world and his own sorrow for a while. The latest one Magnus had magic’d for him was called The Count of Monte Cristo and something in Magnus’ expression had told Alec this book was special, had meaning to him. He was only halfway through but the message on revenge was loud and clear, but Alec kept wondering if there were other, deeper, messages in the book Magnus was trying to tell him. 

They were sitting like that now, Alec sitting by Magnus’ feet in his favorite chair in the living room, Alec by his feet. Magnus had for the first time even magic’d up a large pillow for Alec with a soft look and a simple statement that it was for his knees. The book was in Alec’s lap, soft music was playing, Magnus had a drink in one hand and was reading some documents, like relating to the growing conflict with Idris, in the other. Whenever they sat like this Alec would always wait breathlessly for Magnus to start combing his fingers through his hair, soft and gentle. These days he didn’t have to wait long. Magnus put his drink on the nearby table and started combing his hand through Alec’s hair, making Alec sigh contently as he leaned into the touch, for a moment not reading, just enjoying this, the soft touch from the man he loved more than life itself.

Alec wasn’t aware he had been enjoying the soft touch so much he had closed his eyes…until he opened them again. Doing so meant he had a clear view to Lorenzo’s glass cage and the writing on the glass. As always when Magnus was home the lizard was hiding in the far corner of the cage. Alec bit his lower lip nervously, looking from the lizard and then stealing a look at Magnus who was intensely reading the document in his other hand.

Lorenzo had become a friend and he wanted to help, but he had to tread carefully given how Magnus had reacted when he that one time had found Alec with the lizard. However, he had to try and talk to Magnus about Lorenzo. It was clear the other Warlock couldn’t take more of this punishment, living like a lizard. To be frank Alec wasn’t even sure how much of the Warlock was left inside the lizard these days. However, he had sworn to Lorenzo he would try and help so he had to try. The writing on the glass – _help me_ and _please kill me_ – in clear view from this angle pushed Alec further into action.

Alec should have known Magnus would pick up on how his body had tensed and that he was looking at Lorenzo’s glass cage and not reading the book laying open in his lap.

“You want to say something,” Magnus remarked as he looked down at him, putting the paper he had been reading next to his drink on the table.

Magnus’ voice was kind right now, his touch in his hair still there, still gentle. Alec decided this was his best chance, so he took it.

“Will you turn him back?” Alec asked softly, nodding towards Lorenzo, looking up at Magnus with a hopeful look.

“Who?” Magnus asked confused, unsure what he was talking about.

“Lorenzo,” Alec replied, nodding to the lizard who tried to hide even further in the far corner of the glass cage when Magnus looked coldly at him.

Magnus tensed and stopped touching Alec. He removed his hand and took a sip of his drink, feeling his earlier calm turn cold as anger and jealousy started to build. Lorenzo was an enemy and anyone who sided with his enemies…. How stupid was he?! A pillow for his knees, a book to read…? He was doing it again. Catering to a man, a Nephilim, who had betrayed him. Betrayed him in the worst way possible. Used him!

Magnus’ expression grew icy as he shrugged and replied nonchalant, “Wasn’t thinking of it.”

Alec bit his lower lip again nervously, feeling the change in Magnus, missing the soft moment, the soft touch. It was getting dangerous now to continue, he had learned to tell the signs of Magnus’ temper. However, he had to try. He had sworn to Lorenzo he would try. He couldn’t keep quiet any longer. He just had to angle it right, sell it to Magnus in the right way. 

“You could use him. Turned back. To show your power. A Warlock using his powers to serve you,” Alec suggested in a quiet voice, trying to convince him, looking up at Magnus hopefully.

Magnus frowned, his cat eyes shining dangerously.

“Why do you care?” Magnus asked suspiciously.

Magnus’ temper and pain mixed and flared, the feeling of betrayal at the forefront and he couldn’t hold it back any longer. He took a hard grip in Alec’s hair and forced his head back and up. Alec winced slightly at the pull but allowed it, his expression open and questioning, confused by the strong reaction.

“Did you seek him out while I was powerless? Is that why he was so quick to take his magic back?” Magnus demanded, spitting the accusation at Alec, even more enraged by Alec’s fake innocent expression. He was not falling for that again; he was not buying into Alec’s innocence ever again!

Alec paled, wounded by the implication in the accusation. Alec tried to shake his head but Magnus’ firm grip in his hair didn’t allow it.

“No!” Alec denied strongly, looking Magnus in the eyes as he said it, hoping Magnus could read the truth there.

“Then what?” Magnus asked darkly, not buying the game of naïveté Alec was playing.

Had Alec and Lorenzo been in league before now? Was that why Lorenzo had taken his magic back when he had been dying? He hadn’t thought of it before but thinking of it now his rage burned bright. Had they been in league to see him powerless and weak?!

“Are you telling me he did it for the goodness of his heart?” Magnus asked darkly, barely able to stop himself from shaking Alec using the grip in his hair.

Alec was confused by the tension and anger he felt from Magnus but forced himself to stay pliant and still, trying to get him to calm down.

“Of course not!” Alec objected strongly.

Magnus almost rolled his eyes at Alec. Lies! Always lies with him! Now that he had thought about it, he couldn’t stop. He needed to know what had happened between Lorenzo and Alec back then. Why had Lorenzo helped him?! They had no love lost between them to put it mildly and it was in Lorenzo’s best interest he died. Why would he help him? It didn’t make sense. He had been too depressed after losing his magic to think about it, to worry. But he saw it all so clearly now. Alec and Lorenzo, in league to bring him down!

“Then what? What did you give him? Tell me!” Magnus roared, shaking Alec by the pull in his hair, making Alec wince at the pain.

Alec’s wince made a wave of guilt wash over Magnus and he stopped at once. He still kept his grip in his hair, convinced Alec was playing it up, lying again, tricking him. The hurt in Alec’s eyes was just to make him feel bad, it was just another way to get him to obey and be the good little Warlock puppy dog he had once been! Never again would he be that weak!

Alec took a calming breath, his hands fists in his lap but he forced himself to stay still. This conversation had been completely derailed and he had to get it back on track so he could help Lorenzo. 

“He’s a Warlock; I made a deal with him,” Alec said calmly, looking Magnus in the eyes as he said it.

Magnus was suspicious but decided to investigate it further. He fought down his jealousy he asked coldly, “What kind of deal?”

“I sold him the only thing I had to sell,” Alec admitted with a blush, but his voice was strong.

He hadn’t intended to ever tell Magnus, he didn’t want him to feel bad or guilty. But he had to explain this now so they could get back to talking about Lorenzo.

“What?” Magnus asked shocked, worry, regret, guilt, and jealousy flaring.

He let go of Alec as if the touch were burning, looking down at him skeptically. Why hadn’t Alec told him? What could he possibly have to sell?

Mixed in with his anger, guilt, and pain Magnus felt his jealousy and possessiveness win out as he asked with something between dread and anger, “Yourself?”

“What?” Alec said shocked, looking dumbstruck at Magnus. He shook his head in denial.

“Never!” Alec said fiercely.

His words calmed Magnus and he released the breath he hadn’t known he had been holding. He wasn’t sure he believed him even now, but how he did love the lie of having been Alec’s first and only lover, even the first and only person to ever kiss him.

Seeing Magnus relax a bit made Alec decide to be bold. His expression softened and he put a hand tenderly, hesitantly, on Magnus’ nearest arm, smiling a bit when Magnus didn’t draw back.

“I am only yours,” Alec told him, looking up at him with strength and honesty in his eyes.

Magnus smirked a bit uncomfortably. Hearing that was everything he had ever wanted to hear but it didn’t add up with Alec’s betrayal. And, as he reminded himself, Alec had betrayed him before. He hadn’t told him of the Soul Sword either.

However, the love in Alec’s eyes and voice softened him a bit. He briefly covered Alec’s hand on his arm, giving it a gentle squeeze. Then he removed Alec’s hand from his, firmly but gently. Alec looked sad at that but quickly seemed to recover, putting both hands back in his lap.

Magnus cleared his throat, trying to regain his sense of balance.

“Then what?” Magnus asked, pleased with how calm he sounded now, hiding his internal turmoil and confusion.

“My bow and quiver,” Alec told him honestly.

Magnus studied Alec’s face closely, but he didn’t seem to be lying. However, he had to be. To offer that in return for him…

“Your….but a Shadowhunter’s chosen weapon is like a part of themselves. I know you have other weapons at the Institute, other bows and quivers but there is only one that is the chosen weapon,” Magnus got out, still trying to make sense of it all.

Why would Alec offer this for him? Alec had clear as day told him when he had broken his heart that he felt he had changed when without his magic and thus he no longer wanted to be with him when he was powerless. Was this all some kind of game?

“I know. It is also the only thing I own that is mine,” Alec said matter of fact. He hesitated but then added softly, with a small smile, “I offered it to you to help Izzy with her trial.”

Magnus felt the familiar agony whenever he remembered the past. However, when he recalled how he had acted towards Alec…how he had thought he had been seducing the poor shy virgin Nephilim when in reality Alec had just been playing games with him, wanting a pet Warlock….

“I remember,” Magnus said coldly, the memory of how much of a fool he had been for Alec helping him to stop the memories of warmth and love that threatened to overcome him.

Alec gave him a puzzled and hurt look, unsure why his attempt to connect with him over their shared past had brought such a cold reaction. He forced a smile, reminding himself he needed Magnus in a good mindset to get Lorenzo free.

“So, I offered it to Lorenzo for helping you,” Alec finished his explanation.

“And he took it,” Magnus assumed, giving Alec a questioning look.

“Of course. He’s a Warlock; a deal is a deal,” Alec said evenly. He glanced at the lizard, no bad feelings towards him for that. It was just how things were; nothing was ever free. He paused before he added, “He sold it I am told.”

That somehow pained Alec; that his bow and quiver had been sold on, for money, to the highest bidder in the Shadow World or the Mundane world. He hoped whoever had the objects now would care for them as he had done.

Magnus had to fight down his instinctive anger at Lorenzo for taking this from Alec as well as his desire to go get Alec’s bow and quiver back to him. He was flabbergasted and confused. Why had Alec done that? It made no sense.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Magnus asked, puzzled.

“There was no need,” Alec insisted. And to him there really hadn’t. He had grown up knowing sacrifices at times were needed. It was what he expected of himself.

“Besides…you never asked,” Alec reminded him, trying to make Magnus understand he hadn’t tried to lie to him or mislead him. He would have told him if he had asked, like now.

“No, I never did,” Magnus admitted after a moment of reflection.

He had been too wrapped up in his own pain, his depression, at losing his magic. He had never once considered what Alec had had to do, to trade, to make Lorenzo do it. The one time he had briefly considered it, he had told himself Lorenzo had done it out of spite, to make him suffer without his magic. But he logically knew that Lorenzo was better off if he had done nothing and he had died. He also knew that even if taking his magic back would please Lorenzo, he would still never do it if he felt it helped Magnus. They had not been on good terms at that time, to put it mildly. Hence why Lorenzo was a lizard on display in a glass cage in his living room.

Magnus couldn’t help but feel guilty now, knowing he hadn’t asked before. He should have. The guilt made his temper lessen a bit and he did a hand gesture towards the glass cage and the lizard.

“Why then ask me to turn him back? Surely you hate him for having taken your weapon?” Magnus asked, looking down at Alec with a puzzled and curious look.

“I don’t hate him for that. He just did what Warlocks do. He had no reason to trust me, so he made a deal,” Alec said honesty, no heat in his words.

Magnus nodded to that. For this once he would pretend he brought Alec might actually know and respect Downworlder customs and feelings more than any other Nephilim. But only because he felt guilty not asking about the deal with Lorenzo before.

“Why should I turn him back? Sell me on it,” Magnus ordered, nodding towards the glass cage.

Alec couldn’t help but feel hopeful and relieved. They were making progress. Magnus wasn’t saying no. It was now or never.

“Lorenzo serving you as a Warlock is more beneficial than a frightened lizard. He can do anything for you, in war or otherwise. Loyal to you, completely,” Alec explained, thinking up all the things Lorenzo as a Warlock could do better than just being a lizard as he answered.

“Hmm,” Magnus replied thoughtfully.

Alec did have a point. He had been so angry with Lorenzo for his betrayal, for taking everything from him. Making him a lizard was the ultimate punishment, a cruel joke as Lorenzo’s Warlock Mark was scales. It had been fun seeing the proud and arrogant Warlock brought to his knees, but Alec was right. He didn’t serve any purpose now. He wasn’t even amusing any longer, just cowering in the corner of his cage.

“It would show your strength,” Alec pressed, keeping his voice soft to not overdo it.

Magnus frowned, thinking. It would indeed show his strength if he had a Warlock serving him, someone who was completely loyal to only him.

“I see your point,” Magnus admitted, making Alec smile slightly. Jealously reared its ugly head again as Magnus warned, “I’ll do it if it matters that much to you but betray me in any way and I will punish you both.”

“I would never betray you, ever,” Alec quickly assured him solemnly.

Magnus snorted, his eyes shining with darkness as he replied, “You already did.”

Alec’s lips were a thin line and his hands formed fists so tight his knuckles were white. He longed to explain, to say he had never betrayed him, ever. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t break his deal with Asmodeus.

“I am very grateful for this,” Alec said instead, trying to sound just that, keeping his voice soft and not too eager, not wanting Magnus to go back on this deal or punish Lorenzo like he had when he had seen him with him as a lizard.

Magnus mentally rolled his eyes, agony flashing through what was left of his heart. At least Alec had the decency not to deny his betrayal. He had to remind himself he was doing this because Alec was right; Lorenzo could serve him better as a Warlock than a lizard. Lorenzo should be broken in by now to make it possible for him to be obedient even as a Warlock. Besides, no matter what Alec had done then Magnus felt he should have asked about the deal Alec had made with Lorenzo for his life.

“Good but be warned; he’s your responsibility,” Magnus cautioned darkly.

“Ok,” Alec readily agreed, nodding to emphasize his words.

Magnus emptied his glass of whiskey, forcing himself to be calm. He rose, making Alec do likewise. The Warlock walked to the glass cage, making the lizard press as far back into a corner as possible. Magnus sighed in annoyance and picked up the frightened lizard. As soon as he had the lizard out of the cage Magnus threw it across the room.

“What?!” Alec yelled fearfully, ready to go try and catch the lizard that had been thrown across the room, giving Magnus a hurt and confused look. Neither Lorenzo nor he had done anything wrong! What had happened?!

“Relax,” Magnus ordered coldly, annoyed by this display of care for Lorenzo.

Magnus hit the lizard with a blast of magic midair. The lizard turned into a completely naked, very scarred, and skinny Lorenzo. The Warlock fell to the floor and quickly crawled into a far corner of the room on all fours, pulling his knees up to his cheek, and hugging his legs, looking frightened and shaking in fear, looking down, hiding his face.

Magnus felt a bit better at seeing Lorenzo like that, his jealousy fading a little. Surely given how focused Alec had been on using him for his powers and abilities he would have no interest in Lorenzo. He was frankly unsure the other Warlock would be of any use at all to anyone in his current state.

“There. Deal with **that** then,” Magnus ordered darkly, waving towards Lorenzo.

Alec fought down his anger and annoyance at Magnus, taking a calming breath. He had gotten what he wanted. He nodded in response before he rushed over to Lorenzo. Alec’s quick movements had Lorenzo pressing further into the corner. Alec sat down beside Lorenzo and tried to touch his knee, but Lorenzo pulled away with a wordless cry, shaking even worse, trying to hide more, to make himself as small as possible.

Alec pulled a bit back, sitting on his knees, his hand back by his side, eyeing Lorenzo with compassion and sympathy. He was suddenly unsure making Lorenzo human had been a kindness given how damaged he clearly was. His body alone had multiple scars and a few wounds; he was too thin…his beard and hair too long. He didn’t long in any way like the proud Warlock he had once been.

Magnus forced himself to think of Lorenzo’s betrayal and that, together with his annoyance and jealousy at Alec’s care for the other Warlock had Magnus observe the whole scene coldly. Lorenzo had had this coming for his betrayal!

“My father is dropping by tonight to go over some plans. I want him serving us. I have yet to decide if it should be the Mundane way or using magic so prepare him for both,” Magnus ordered darkly, giving Alec an annoyed look at the concern he was showing Lorenzo.

Alec looked from Lorenzo to Magnus, hoping he had heard him wrong.

“Tonight?” Alec asked shocked. He frowned, trying to figure out the time, what tonight was in relation to now. “What is that? Like…in a few hours?”

Magnus nodded grimly as he replied, “You have six hours.”

“But…” Alec protested, looking from the shellshocked Lorenzo and back up at Magnus. Six hours to get Lorenzo ready?!

Magnus couldn’t help but smile darkly; well, that was what Alec got for worrying that much about another man when all he had had for him had been lies, deceit, and betrayal!

“You sold the idea. Make it work,” Magnus ordered briskly as he walked into his office, closing the door magically behind him.

Alec looked after Magnus for a moment before he took a deep breath, determined to make this work. He _had_ to make this work. He was never getting another chance.

“Lorenzo?” Alec asked softly, moving a bit further back to give him some breathing space.

“Hmm,” Lorenzo got out, still looking frightened, still hiding, and not looking at him, but he had relaxed a bit after Magnus had left.

“Lorenzo, do you remember me? Alec. Alexander,” Alec said gently.

He wanted to offer Lorenzo some clothes but he himself was dressed only in pants and a shirt; he had nothing to take off to offer him. He would have to see what clothes were in his closet. Lorenzo was so shinny now that all the clothes Magnus had magic’d for him would hang on the Warlock, but it was better than being naked.

“Lorenzo, come with me. Let’s give you a shower and some clothes. You will feel human again then,” Alec promised, feeling the lie in the words, and almost cringing at himself. As if those small things could undo months and months living as a lizard.

After a few tries Alec got Lorenzo to take his hand and he escorted him to the bedroom. Lorenzo still didn’t look at him and just followed him timidly, his steps small and unsure, making Alec realize Lorenzo would have to get used to walking on two legs again. With some help and walking slowly Alec got Lorenzo into the bathroom. It took some persuasion, encouragement and support from Alec to get Lorenzo into the shower, likely because the shower door was glass like the cage had been. He had wanted to leave Lorenzo there to shower alone but he crumbled into a ball on the floor of the shower stall, making small pitiful noises of despair and pain, hugging Alec’s leg and not letting go. Realizing he couldn’t leave Lorenzo alone Alec had ignored how his clothes got wet and had helped Lorenzo shower after he had managed to get him up on his feet again. After the shower he got Lorenzo to dry himself after some attempts, including showing him how it was done and staying with him while he did it. Alec realized Lorenzo was likely in shock and needed to be reminded what being human meant. He tried to get Lorenzo to sit on a chair to cut his hair, but Lorenzo started making pained noises, so Alec had him sit on the floor of the bathroom instead, thinking Lorenzo as a lizard had likely been punished if he had crawled on the furniture. He then cut Lorenzo’s hair and his beard, talking about nothing while doing so but his voice seemed to calm Lorenzo. He then cleaned and tended to any wounds he had. Afterwards, he guided Lorenzo with him to the bedroom. Alec was starting to get increasingly worried as Lorenzo just followed him pliantly around like a lost puppy, looking down, trying to make himself small, not speaking.

Alec found some pants and a shirt for him. It was the smallest size Magnus had given him and Lorenzo still looked like a child in it. After making sure Magnus was not in the kitchen Alec had taken Lorenzo there and made him a sandwich. Lorenzo had looked confused at it, so he had instead cut some chicken pieces and put them on a plate, like he had given him as a lizard. Lorenzo had looked longingly at the food but hadn’t touched it. Alec had fed him a few pieces and then taught Lorenzo he had hands now, he could take the chicken himself. Lorenzo lost his grip on the food several times as he no longer had the needed coordination, looking frightened at Alec, afraid to be punished for failing. However, Alec had just smiled encouragingly at him and showed him how to do it yet another time. Finally, Lorenzo managed to feed himself. Thinking it might make him less worried and afraid for what was to come Alec poured Lorenzo a glass of red wine from a bottle Magnus had told him he could use. Human drinking was very challenging for Lorenzo so Alec decided to pour the wine into a mug instead. With help and using both hands Lorenzo managed to drink, looking surprised but pleased with the wine, looking very sad when the mug was empty. Worried Lorenzo might get too effected by the wine, despite being a Warlock, as he hadn’t had any alcohol as a lizard and was so skinny now Alec assured Lorenzo he could get more tomorrow which made had him look happy. His happiness had Alec struggle not to cry for no one should be that happy to be told they could have a glass of wine the coming day. He had wondered if Lorenzo recalled that he, as all Warlocks Alec had met, had used to drink heavily all day, every day, and if he missed that now that he was a Warlock again.

Alec had spoken to Lorenzo throughout it all but so far Lorenzo had not said a word nor looked at him. He also hadn’t sat on a chair or any other furniture, but only kept standing or sat on the floor.

However, Alec knew Lorenzo would have to be able to react to human language; he would be expected to respond to the commands given to him by Asmodeus and Magnus. Alec deduced that Magnus would likely start the evening with his father in the living room, so he had taken Lorenzo there. Lorenzo had panicked seeing the glass tank he had been kept in. He had made an agonized wail and tore free from Alec’s grip on his wrist, running back to hide in a corner of the bathroom. They had to try four more times before Lorenzo had been able to stay in the room without trying to run away as soon as Alec let go of him. Lorenzo was hyperventilating and panicking as soon as he saw the glass tank. In an effect to get Lorenzo to calm down Alec had allowed him to sit in a corner of the room, hugging his knees. Finally, he seemed to calm down a bit, feeling safest in corners.

Alec smiled encouraging at Lorenzo as he sat beside him on the floor.

“Let’s try again. Try to say Alec,” Alec tried for the hundred time at least, eyeing the clock on the wall with worry. Two hours left.

Alec was close to fearing this whole thing was doomed when suddenly, finally, Lorenzo spoke.

“Please,” Lorenzo whispered brokenly, the word so low Alec could barely hear it, his eyes still downcast, his voice filled with pain.

“Yes! A word,” Alec said joyfully. He leaned close to Lorenzo as he asked eagerly, “Please what?”

“Please let me die,” Lorenzo begged hoarsely, his voice raw from lack of use and filled with agony.

“What?” Alec asked shocked, horrified. No, no, no! They were **not** doing this. It wasn’t fair. Lorenzo was human now, a Warlock again.

Alec shook his head as he said strongly but kindly, “No, no. No dying, ok? I will help you.”

Lorenzo lifted his head and finally looked at Alec. He had tears in his eyes and the pain and grief in his face broke Alec’s heart.

Lorenzo gave him a lost look as he begged in a low and agonized voice, tears running down his cheeks, “Please. Let me die, let me die, let me die.”

Alec briefly closed his eyes, unable to bear the pain he could see in Lorenzo’s face. When he opened his eyes again, he forced himself to smile, but it was a sad smile, dead and just as lost as Lorenzo’s expression.

“I’m sorry. I can’t. I can’t,” Alec whispered softly, unaware he was crying too.

Alec hesitantly reached for Lorenzo and this time he didn’t pull away. Encouraged by this Alec pulled him close and Lorenzo all but fell into his arms. Alec hugged him close and they clung to each other, crying for the unfairness of life, crying for their pain and a life that seemed to just refuse to give them any ounce of happiness without taking it brutally away again, leaving only more pain in its wake.

Afterwards they both felt a little better even though nothing had actually changed. Alec hoped it meant that Lorenzo somehow could understand and accept that this was the fate they had been given. Alec explained the deal and how he had vouched for Lorenzo, praying he understood, unsure how much damage his mind had taken from being a lizard for so long.

“Lorenzo, it is almost time. Can you follow directions?” Alec asked him softly when they had both recovered a bit, wiping away the last of Lorenzo’s tears with a tender gesture.

Lorenzo took a deep breath and nodded, fighting to maintain eye contact.

“Ok, let’s try it. Can you give me that book there, magically?” Alec asked, pointing to a book on a nearby bookshelf.

Alec held his breath as Lorenzo wringed his hands in his lap nervously, looking down at them with painful intensity. Alec became aware the Warlock hadn’t used magic since he had been turned into a lizard and was likely worried, fighting memories of the Warlock he had been, of who he had once been. A Warlock, a man. Not broken like now. Alec waited patiently for a few minutes. He was about to give up when suddenly Lorenzo did a quick flick of his wrist and the book Alec had pointed to flew into his lap.

“Well done!” Alec praised, smiling widely and Lorenzo smiled softly.

Alec practiced a few other things with Lorenzo, praising him each time he did it right. A few minutes before it was time for Asmodeus to arrive, Alec helped Lorenzo to his feet and guided him stand with him over in a far corner of the living room. He could feel Lorenzo was shaking a bit and gave his arm a reassuring squeeze. He positioned himself in such a way so Lorenzo was as far to the wall as possible and Alec was blocking Lorenzo’s view of the glass cage he had been in as a lizard and the memories of his torment seeing it brought him.

Right on time a portal formed in the lobby of the loft and Asmodeus existed. Magnus left his office and ignored Lorenzo and Alec as he came over and greeted his father with a warm smile. Alec always hated to see Magnus show Asmodeus such affection, knowing it was because Magnus thought he had helped him when he had been at his weakest as the only one, unaware of the role Asmodeus had played in all of it.

“You turned the lizard back I see,” Asmodeus commented curiously as Magnus and him walked to two chairs in the living room and sat down.

“Alexander convinced me he could be useful like this,” Magnus replied. He then looked directly at Alec as he ordered, “Alexander, come sit by me.”

Alec gave Lorenzo a comforting smile and was about to walk over to Magnus. Lorenzo clung to his arm, looking anxiously at him, his hands holding on so tightly he was leaving bruises on Alec’s arm, his hands like claws of desperation and fear.

“It will be ok,” Alec whispered calmingly to Lorenzo as he forcefully removed his fingers from his arm, giving one of his hands a reassuring squeeze.

Lorenzo looked desperately after him as Alec walked over to Magnus’ chair, shaking even worse, looking down on the floor, fighting to keep standing.

Alec tried to avoid looking at Asmodeus as he came over to them, hating the superior smirk on his face. When he reached Magnus’ chair, he knelt next to it, fighting to hide his blush and embarrassment, not wanting to give Asmodeus that satisfaction, noticing Magnus this time didn’t magic up a pillow for him. Not that he expected it; not with Asmodeus here and likely not after he had just asked him to turn Lorenzo back. He put his hands in his lap and forced his mind to go blank, longing for Magnus’ soft touch but so far, he hadn’t reached for him.

“He’s quite the gift I see,” Asmodeus commented with a dark grin, nodding towards Alec’s kneeling form.

Alec couldn’t control the blush that colored his cheeks, but he kept his eyes on his hands in his lap, refusing to react to the words. He hated that guy so much.

“Very,” Magnus confirmed as he put a hand to Alec’s neck.

Alec was keenly aware the hand was possessive and strong, but it also felt oddly protective, as if Magnus were making it clear to his father Alec was off limits. Was his. He wasn’t sure why, but Alec found that…nice in a way he likely shouldn’t. Alec relaxed and leaned further into Magnus’ touch when he started to draw small soothing pattens on his skin with his thumb.

“Lizard, pour us each a whiskey,” Magnus ordered sharply, looking at Lorenzo.

The sudden command had Alec stiffen for a moment before he forced himself to relax. He couldn’t see Lorenzo from this angle, but he hoped he could do this, trying to make it go ok by his sheer willpower alone.

Lorenzo twisted his hands nervously, pressing himself closer to the wall. He looked to Alec and felt himself calm down by looking at him, being reminded of his trust in him, his praise and encouraging words. He drew a deep breath as he nodded and snapped his fingers, magic’ing Asmodeus and Magnus each a glass of whiskey. He kept his eyes down but a small smile fell over his lips; he had done it!

“No!” Magnus said sharply, making the glasses magically disappear.

Lorenzo recoiled from Magnus’ harsh tone, a soft whimper escaping his lips. He pressed further into the wall, trying to control his shaking hands by fisting them tightly together.

Magnus gave Lorenzo a piercing look as he nodded to his drinks cart by the opposite wall and ordered darkly, “Make and serve the drinks, the Mundane way. We will both have whiskey so even you should be able to do it right!”

Lorenzo nodded and hastily went to the drinks cart. His hands were shaking so badly he fought not to spill the whiskey as he poured the first glass. Alec now had Lorenzo in his line of vision and was watching him closely, silently praying he wouldn’t spill, knowing doing so would be punished but unsure how. He hoped Lorenzo wouldn’t get turned back into a lizard if he did something wrong. Lorenzo would not be able to survive that.

“He’s not very intelligent, your slave, is he?” Asmodeus remarked darkly, nodding towards Lorenzo.

Alec tensed at the words, anger and rage rolling over him on Lorenzo’s behalf. He had to bite his lower lip to keep silent. Magnus’ hand on his neck kept up the soothing strokes but his hand felt heavier now, a warning. Alec forced himself to relax under the touch, to focus on that and ignore Asmodeus.

Magnus shrugged as he replied, “It’s his first night serving as human.”

Lorenzo had managed to make both drinks without spilling. He walked over with the drinks, taking small steps, his walking still a bit unsteady, his anxiety and fear making him breathe quickly and loudly, his hands shaking more and more the closer he came to Asmodeus and Magnus. He handed one drink to Asmodeus who took it with a look of dark amusement. Lorenzo walked slower and slower as he went towards Magnus, his fear making the walk over to him difficult. He kept his eyes firmly downcast as he handed the drink to Magnus. However, he was now shaking so violently that as the glass changed hands some of the liquid spilled. Lorenzo froze, looking fearfully down at the spill on the floor, starting to hyperventilate in fear, unsure what to do.

“Lizard! You spilled!” Magnus remarked darkly as he took his drink.

Alec stiffened. He hadn’t seen what had happened, so it was first Magnus’ voice that alerted him. He prayed Lorenzo wouldn’t be turned back, anything but that. _Please don’t turn him back!_

Lorenzo fought to speak, keeping his eyes lowered, his face having gone pale and white.

“Sssss Sorry.”

Alec was caught between cheering, proud Lorenzo had managed to speak in front of Asmodeus and Magnus, and sympathy and pain for how broken and scared he sounded.

Magnus briefly considered magically turning Lorenzo back into a lizard, but he could feel Alec tensing under his hand and knew he wanted Lorenzo human. He was annoyed with himself at caring that much about what Alec wanted. He sighed wordlessly; he would have to punish Lorenzo in some other way then.

“Wipe it up. The Mundane way,” Magnus ordered darkly, waving annoyed at him.

Lorenzo moved a bit back at the wave but then stopped, unsure what to do, looking lost. What was the Mundane way?

“On all fours, little lizard,” Asmodeus supplied helpfully with a dark grin as he magic’d up a towel and handed it to him.

Lorenzo took the towel and went to work at once, his hands still shaking but less so now he had been told what to do and how to do it. Being on all fours was calming, like when he had been a lizard. He could walk easier like this. Lorenzo told himself they had wanted to help him do well and so he would. He rubbed the floor on all fours with such careful attention to detail that only can be born from fear and loss.

Alec almost cried as he watched Lorenzo work furiously on the floor, seemingly unaware of the laughter from Asmodeus and Magnus which after a minute or two turned to disinterest as they started to talk about other topics. He worked without hesitation, without feeling any embarrassment, too broken for that. Alec, however, felt Lorenzo’s humiliation for him, felt what he had lost, and he cried inside for him now that Lorenzo could not do it himself.

Afterwards Lorenzo was allowed to go stay in one of the guestrooms and Alec was able to relax a bit now that Lorenzo was out of harm’s way. Magnus and Asmodeus talked of different things and Alec paid close attention, trying to see if there was any useful information. They were clever enough not to say much about the war that was useful to him though.

When they moved to the dining table to eat Magnus had magic’d him a pillow for his knees and a part of Alec hated that he felt happy for that fact after what Lorenzo had just endured. Later Magnus magic’d a portion of food for Alec as well, even a few glasses of wine that left him a bit lightheaded. Again, Alec found himself smiling, feeling cared for in a way that tore his heart to pieces.

After the meal, while Asmodeus and Magnus talked of different people and events long ago, Magnus started combing Alec’s hair tenderly, lovingly. Doing these signs of caring and concern while Asmodeus was in the room…it was the biggest sign of his affection, of his love, that Alec had gotten since he had seen him again after the breakup. Alec smiled to himself, almost purring contently at this public show of affection.

Suddenly Alec’s eyes caught Lorenzo’s fearful expression in the door opening to the guest bedroom, just barely peeking out. Alec felt shame and guilt wash over him at sitting here, like this, feeling content and cared for. Alec tried to send Lorenzo an encouraging smile. It seemed to work for Lorenzo smiled back and closed the door silently again. When Alec realized he was still leaning against Magnus, still seeking his touch, enjoying his hand in his hair, on his neck…he almost started crying.

Alec suddenly remembered something Jace had once told him Valentine had taught him growing up. _To love is to destroy_. Alec had often wondered what Valentine had meant by that. Sitting here by Magnus’ feet, craving his touch, and feeling he shouldn’t, loving him yet also hating what he had become, what they had become… _To love is to destroy_. He understood it now. And he hated that. He hated that he understood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment and/or kudos if you are enjoying the story. Would mean so much to me. One small click on that button. Means a lot. Up there. A button. You should press it! Yeeesss. Press it!  
> LOL. Sorry guys. Haven't slept much. Still would love to hear from you (since I can get flames due to stuff I tag and warn about in the chapter notes I am soon gonna assume the majority of readers don't read this so next chapter you will get my granny's cookie recipe in the chapter notes!).  
> So, you have asked me if Magnus will know the truth. Yes. Should be in chapter 5, latest 6 Magnus knows the truth (I will try and control my angst feast here; promise! But my fics have a tendency to keep growing. Sorry! I am trying to control myself).


	4. Unconditional Love – A Definition Of Terms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec and Magnus continue their game of give and take. Magnus starts to soften up.  
> Alec and Lorenzo bond and talk about morality and what unconditional love truly means.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to my amazing beta readers as always.  
> Chapter warnings: Detailed anal sex, dirty talk, mild orgasm control/begging, talk about Lorenzo struggling being human again, complicated relationships, talk on love and morality. More angst.

_Please read chapter notes for warnings_

# Chapter 4: Unconditional Love – A Definition Of Terms

Lorenzo had been human for a few days and struggled greatly getting used to his new life. Everything from talking, walking, eating…it was all something the once so proud Warlock had to relearn. Alec had quickly found that it was best to keep Lorenzo busy; it stopped him getting sad and depressed. He had been deeply worried when he had discovered Lorenzo's desperate writing on the glass cage had taken place within the first few days of his transformation into a lizard. After that he seemed to have given up and lost more and more touch with his human self and his human abilities. Lorenzo's mind was still fractured, more animal in many ways than human, and his body was struggling with human coordination. However, he was touch-starved and eager for praise and reassurance and hence it was easy for Alec to give him small tasks. It was mainly things like coordinating the books in the living room by color (he had tried titles, but Lorenzo had gotten very upset, making Alec realize he was struggling to relearn how to read) or arranging the kitchen but Lorenzo took every task very serious and did them all well. Slow but well. It made Alec sad to see, aware such careful attention to detail could only come from his remembered fear as a lizard, his fear of doing wrong, of failing....of being turned back. He slept very little and had such loud and intense nightmares Alec was happy Magnus had put silencing spells on the flat so his screaming wouldn't draw attention.

As Magnus allowed him to read any of the books in the living room he wanted Alec had read up on animal transformations and Warlock punishments. It seemed turning your enemies into animals was a long-standing Warlock practice. However, it was exceedingly rare the Warlock was ever turned back. Almost always the Warlock who had been turned into an animal lived as an animal for years until the Warlock who had turned them grew tired of them and killed them….or they managed to kill themselves. The few cases of Warlocks returning to human form were far in between and information on them were extremely limited. One thing was clear though; the longer the Warlock lived as an animal the more damage to their minds it would create. However, despite the doom and gloom the books claimed would be Lorenzo’s fate then Alec was determined to change that. The Shadow World was not known for mercy, patience, or compassion. Alec was going to try something unique; he was going to try and help Lorenzo using those very abilities which no one had used before as it simply wasn’t skills or abilities admired in the Shadow World.

Alec was not used to doing nothing; just waiting around for Magnus to come to him. He had never done nothing before in his life. He had always had someone to look out for. He trained in the mornings and did small tasks but time passed slowly. However, now he had Lorenzo here. Having Lorenzo human made life easier for Alec. It meant he could focus on him and his needs instead of himself. Caring for someone was a part of Alec and Lorenzo's condition made it easy to do so. He had not had such an easy time caring for someone since Izzy and Max had been babies. Caring for his siblings, Jace...his people at the Institute was a difficult task. Nephilim were taught to be strong and independent so caring for them was a balancing act to ensure they didn't feel 'weak'. With Lorenzo that wasn't the case. Not in the state he was in now. 

The war on Idris had intensified so Magnus had been gone a lot lately. Whenever he did return Alec did what he could to help him destress, having learned in the last few days that Magnus was starting to get a bit more receptive to him if he managed to talk to him at the right time. The right time was mainly after sex, just before Magnus put him to sleep. Magnus always looked softest in those moments, loving even. He had gotten Magnus to agree to several things for Lorenzo; including giving him his own clothes in a closet in his room, a lamp in the room as Lorenzo was now afraid of the dark after being in the glass cage at night, alone at night in complete darkness. Wine. Alec was particularly proud of that. The wine helped Lorenzo relax and forget his agonized mind for a while and Alec was both sad and happy he could at least give him that.

However, Alec couldn’t really claim he had started to initiate sex with Magnus for any of those reasons. He genuinely loved having sex with him; always had. Sex with Magnus was easy and over the weeks he had been here Alec had to admit it was without a doubt his drug of choice. It left his head fuzzy and his body satisfied. It chased away the dark thoughts and stopped the pain remembering the softness and trust that had once been between them brought him. He thought he had been here around two months, give or take. In some ways it felt like he had always been here.

Alec was brought back to the present as Magnus pushed harshly up inside of him, making him moan as pleasure washed over him, drowning him, making him have to bite his lower lip till it bled, grounding himself, to be able to hold back his rising orgasm, wanting to feel this, float like this, for a little longer. At this moment he felt carefree, absorbed in the pleasure, in the connection and intensity of the moment. He felt powerful and treasured in a way only Magnus could ever make him feel, even now. He looked down at the Warlock, putting his hands on his chest for support. For a moment something flashed over Magnus’ eyes as their eyes locked, something more than lust, more than desire. Those flashes of the Magnus Alec remembered were always deeply treasured and yet so painful. To distract himself Alec pulled himself up and almost off Magnus’ cock before he sank back down again, moaning at the pleasure and the burn.

“Fuck, Alexander. You are always what I need,” Magnus got out, his cat eyes shining, his voice hoarse with desire.

His words, the praise, had Alec forget everything else as it always did, making his heart swell with joy and happiness.

“Yes. Feels so good,” Alec got out, his own voice betraying his desire as he felt his orgasm grow closer, feeling his cock leak precome, fighting the urge to stroke himself.

“Keep going,” Magnus said hungrily as he used his hands on Alec’s hips to help him move up and down on his cock faster and faster.

“I’m close,” Alec warned, fighting to hold back, the words almost drowning in lustful moans of desire as Magnus hit his prostate on each trust.

Absorbed in pleasure as he was at the moment Alec had to fight to control himself and not come solely from the sheer look of desire and affection he could see on Magnus' face, willingly letting himself drown in everything Magnus, in this moment. Alec had learned the rules now even though Magnus had never said them out loud. He always had to beg for his pleasure, his release. Giving Magnus that control, freely, willingly, had the Warlock’s eyes shine with desire and gave him the security he clearly needed to give in to what his heart desired. At first it had been a bit odd; Alec had never been good at dirty talk. But now despite the embarrassment he felt in voicing his desire, he also found that having to say what he wanted and needed, made his pleasure and desire increase. There was no doubt Magnus knew that and this fact only pleased the Warlock more, knowing he could bring Alec to that.

“Go on,” Magnus allowed, giving Alec’s cock a few rough and hard strokes in time with his thrusts.

Alec leaned his head back and closed his eyes in pure bliss, letting himself go and drown completely.

“Fuck!” Alec got out as he came explosively all over Magnus’ hand and stomach, so close he needed very little to push him over the edge.

Magnus removed his hand with a satisfied smirk, his eyes shining with desire, need and affection.

“You do look exquisite when you come,” Magnus marveled, his voice oddly soft and tender given he was buried deep inside his lover as he said it.

There was something close to reverence and worship in his tone that had Alec blushing, stunned into silence, overwhelmed. He took a deep calming breath as he sank fully down on Magnus’ cock, almost shaking from the intensity of his orgasm, looking up at Magnus with a silly smile on his lips, endorphins running through him, making him feel high. For a brief moment there was such love written on Magnus’ face it stole what little breath Alec had left. Then the tender moment was broken as Magnus thrust up inside of him, making Alec moan at the combined pain and pleasure at the overstimulation on his prostate. Alec was sure he couldn’t get hard again so soon, but his cock tried its best all the same.

“Keep moving, darling. I haven’t come yet,” Magnus ordered, slapping his right asscheek lightly, almost teasingly, to get him to do just that, the gesture possessive and lustful.

The slap made Alec make a small noise from surprise, finding the need and desire he could feel Magnus had for him empowering. Exhausted and still sensitive from his intense orgasm Alec started moving again, feeling Magnus was close himself. He had quickly rediscovered Magnus’ body and what he liked, and he used it to his advantage whenever he could. As the weeks had passed Alec had quickly realized that they were playing several games without any rulebook and they were both betting their hearts and risking their souls to win a prize that seemed undefined.

Alec leaned down towards Magnus as he kept moving up and down on his cock, his breath coming in deep gasps whenever Magnus brushed against his prostate.

“Please come inside me. I want to feel your come dripping out of my hole,” Alec begged lustfully, his words whispered against Magnus’ ear, his breath hot against his skin.

He blushed as he said it, feeling his own desire reawaking by his words. He also knew it would be just the right thing to say to push Magnus over the edge.

His words made Magnus tighten his hold on him, his eyes darkening with desire.

“Fuck!” Magnus yelled as he thrust a few more times before he came explosively inside the Nephilim.

“Damn,” Alec mumbled, sighing with relief, disappointment and pride as the pressure eased on his oversensitive prostate as Magnus’ softening cock slipped out of him.

Alec smiled to himself as he leaned exhausted against Magnus’ chest, feeling oddly powerful that he had been able to push Magnus over the edge like that.

“Come here, darling,” Magnus whispered softly, his voice unusually tender as he pulled Alec further up so his head was now laying on his shoulder.

Alec snuggled close, hiding his face by Magnus’ neck, breathing in his scent, his smile widening when he felt Magnus put his arms around his body, holding him possessively and protectively, making Alec feel safe, cared for. He wanted to stay in this cocoon of dreams a bit longer. Just a bit longer.

“Please don’t make me sleep this time. I swear I won’t say a word but just please give me this moment,” Alec asked softly against Magnus’ skin, fighting to control how desperate and needy he sounded and not succeeding at all.

Magnus struggled with himself. It was easier to make Alec sleep; less heartache. Holding him like this was so much like before…before everything had fallen apart. It was easier to hold on to his hate when he had him sleep. Holding him like this....it was dangerous. So very dangerous. It made his heart ache and swell in a way he knew could spell doom for him. When Alec lifted his head and looked hesitantly and pleadingly at him with wide eyes filled with tenderness Magnus found himself giving in. He could be weak this once. Surely that would be ok….

“Ok,” Magnus said with a lump in his throat.

Alec’s whole face lit up like a Christmas tree and he smiled widely.

Fearing Alec might say something, some lie about his love or affection that they both knew was wrong…something that would ruin the illusion they had created Magnus put a finger to Alec’s lips as he reminded him in a voice filled with sadness and a hint of fear for like Alec he loved this illusion way too much, “No words.”

When Magnus removed his finger from his lips Alec nodded, doing his best to convey his thanks and his love with anything but words. Alec’s expression was so tender Magnus couldn’t stop himself from stroking his cheek gently, smiling softly when Alec leaned into the touch. Somewhat reluctantly he pulled his hand back so he could snap his fingers, making them both clean and making a cover appear around them. Alec yawned, exhausted and tired as he gratefully laid his head back down on Magnus’ chest, snuggling close once more. He smiled sleepily as he felt Magnus tug the blanket around him before he held him close, one arm around his torso and the other stroking his hair. Alec was almost asleep when he felt Magnus press a soft ghost of a kiss to his hair, the gesture so warm and tender, so caring and affectionate, it almost broke Alec’s heart and had him fighting tears.

“I love you,” Alec whispered so quietly against Magnus’ skin that no one heard him.

They slept like that, finding a few moments of peace in each other. However, when Alec awake Magnus had already left, making him feel cold and lonely. However, Magnus had left a sleeping bag next to the bed that Alec had asked him to consider magic'ing up for Lorenzo the day before.

Alec was happy and moved by the gesture, knowing in this game they were playing he had won this round; he had moved Magnus a bit closer. He was unsure if that was a good or bad thing in the grand scheme of things, but he couldn't focus on that now. Instead he focused on what was easier for him to focus on; Lorenzo. He was excited to show him the gift. He had discovered Lorenzo didn’t feel safe sleeping in the bed in the guest bedroom that had become his room, no longer used to human furniture, so he instead slept on a blanket on the floor.

Alec put over coffee and then went to Lorenzo’s room. He knew to stay in there till Alec came to get him. When Alec opened the door to the guestroom, Lorenzo smiled proudly at him as he rose from the floor, spinning around so he could see him.

“See,” Lorenzo said proudly, hopefully, looking a bit fearfully at Alec to see his reaction when he came to a full stop in front of him.

Lorenzo had showered and dressed. No shoes or socks but he had a shirt and pants on. It was great progress.

“Well done!” Alec praised, making Lorenzo smile widely and looking very relieved.

“Did good,” Lorenzo concluded happily, and Alec nodded his agreement.

Language was slow going and Alec was unsure how much Lorenzo truly understood, but they had come a long way considering Lorenzo had only been human again for a few days.

“See what I have for you,” Alec said proudly as he rolled out the sleeping bag next to the guest bed while Lorenzo looked confused at him.

“It’s a bed. For you,” Alec explained, nodding to the sleeping bag.

Hesitantly Lorenzo bent down and touched the sleeping bag. He smiled as he said, “Soft.”

“Yes. And warm. Better than the blanket,” Alec insisted.

“For Lizard?” Lorenzo asked hopefully as he looked from the sleeping bag to Alec.

Alec nodded as he said warmly, “Yes, for you, Lorenzo.”

Lorenzo frowned as he shook his head, looking incredibly sad for a moment.

“Lizard. Shh. Only Lizard now,” Lorenzo insisted strongly, sounding terribly upset.

Alec fought not to show how heartbreaking those words were to him. He had tried every day to get Lorenzo to say his own name, to call himself Lorenzo, but he seemed to almost recoil from the name, the associated memories of the Warlock he had once been too painful for him to bear.

“Ok, ok,” Alec said in a calming tone, forcing a smile, thinking to himself he would just keep practicing with him, healing would take time; this was not something an iratze would cure.

To distract them both from Lorenzo’s pain Alec nodded towards the sleeping bag as he asked, “Do you like it? Do you think you will love sleeping there?”

Lorenzo looked at the sleeping bag for a moment before he told Alec seriously, “Love is crying.”

“What?” Alec asked confused.

“You cry. When you say it. You always cry,” Lorenzo told him in a pained tone.

It took a moment for Alec to realize Lorenzo meant the words _I love you_. He had never said them to Magnus since he had come here, not directly. But he said them to himself, to the darkness…he had told Lorenzo he loved Magnus when they were alone, to talk to someone about his feelings even if he wasn’t sure Lorenzo understood him.

“I….Guess I do,” Alec admitted softly, biting his lower lip to stop the pain.

“Why?” Lorenzo asked curiously, sounding confused.

Alec sighed as he admitted, forcing a smile, “I remember different times.”

“Bad times?” Lorenzo asked worried.

Alec shook his head as he said in a wishful, almost dreamy tone, “No. Good times. The best times.”

Lorenzo looked thoughtful for a moment. Then his face clouded with darkness and pain.

“Sorry,” Lorenzo said sadly.

“Why?” Alec asked surprised.

“Lizard was bad back then,” Lorenzo said regretfully.

“No,” Alec protested, touching Lorenzo’s nearest arm comforting, tenderly.

He frowned as he recalled what Lorenzo had done or rather not done. Had it been bad? It had certainly been unhelpful and selfish. But bad? Evil? What was that even these days? Nephilim claimed to be good, yet they had hunted Downworlders like wild animals for ages, repressed them and abused them. He may wish for peace, but he was under no illusion. Idris deserved no peace, no mercy. For generations Idris had shown none to the Downworld, so it was hypocritical to put it mildly to except it now, from the very creatures Nephilim had so fiercely claimed were little more than wild animals. Well, if you whip a dog long enough it does eventually bite. If Alec ever did manage to talk Magnus into sparing Idris it would be a testament to Magnus' benevolence and that of the Downworld in general and not a reflection of what the Downworld was actually owed for that was a debt Idris could only pay with blood and its own complete and utter destruction. It was the upmost irony that the survival of Idris and the Nephilim race seemed to lie with Magnus Bane, Prince of Hell, and the Downworld in general. Rely on Magnus first and foremost showing mercy, patience, and compassion – the very traits that Idris had refused to offer the Downworld since the dawn of time.

“Yes,” Alec admitted when he saw Lorenzo was still looking at him, expecting a reply. He shook his head as he added honestly, “I don’t know anymore.”

“Bad?” Lorenzo repeated, sounding sad.

Alec gave him an encouraging smile as he explained, unsure Lorenzo would understand any of it, “It doesn’t matter anymore. You never deserved this; to be trapped inside an animal. I know now it is apparently a long-standing punishment among Warlocks, but in Idris they burn prisoners alive. Torture, corporal punishments and de-runing is how the public is kept under control in Idris. None of it is ok. That something has always been done doesn’t mean it should continue.”

Lorenzo looked confused, reflective.

“Parabatai? Help?” Lorenzo asked thoughtfully, frowning, looking pained, clearly trying to remember but his mind was shattered, and the memories were hard and painful to hold on it.

“Yes, you remember you were asked about that,” Alec realized, unsure if that was a good or bad thing.

He hoped it might mean Lorenzo was a bit better but doubted it. Lorenzo had at times remembered other things, but it came in fragments and remembering his past life always made him sad, so Alec was careful with how much to push.

Lorenzo nodded slowly, thoughtfully, as he tried to remember more about it.

“Sorry,” Lorenzo said woefully.

Alec gave his arm another reassuring squeeze as he said, “It’s ok. Seems so long ago now.” He paused as he added with a fond smile, touching his shirt where his parabatai rune was, “He lived. He lives still. He will come for me eventually.”

“Leave?” Lorenzo asked eagerly, nodding. He paused before adding hopefully, “Bring Lizard?”

“I don’t know if I can leave,” Alec admitted quietly. Lorenzo looked heartbroken at his words so Alec smiled encouraging at him as he said, “But if I can find a way, I will take you far away. Maybe you can heal somewhere else, some place free from all the bad memories you have here.”

Lorenzo looked sadly at him, his eyes losing that small hint of hope it had had for a few seconds.

“No leaving alone,” Lorenzo insisted stubbornly.

“Don’t worry, I am right here,” Alec assured him, seeing no reason to argue about something so theoretical.

“Why no leaving?” Lorenzo asked confused, sounding truly puzzled.

“I….I still love him. Magnus. I never stopped,” Alec admitted agonized.

“That’s…why crying?” Lorenzo asked puzzled.

“Yes,” Alec acknowledged, giving him a small smile.

Alec had had plenty of time to think about his love for Magnus. Despite the games they were playing now he felt Magnus’ care underneath. Alec knew he loved him. He would always love him. _Nephilim love once, fiercely_. He had always known this about his people. What he hadn’t known about himself was when first he loved Magnus, he truly did love him. He had never before known unconditional love. There had always been some catch. Magnus had loved him unconditionally. Loved him despite his flaws and faults. His insecurities, his self-harming tendencies, his parents….Maryse who had been Valentine’s second in command and likely directly responsible for many Downworlders’ deaths, probably some of which Magnus would have known well. Magnus had loved all of him despite knowing these things about him. He hadn't appreciated Magnus or his love as he should have done; he had been too focused on making peace, on keeping to Clave rules about the Soul Sword, on saving Jace....on everything else. He had placed the greater good above Magnus and he didn't deserve that. Magnus deserved to be number one in his lover's eyes, always. Above anything, everything. He hadn't even seen that Magnus was unable to live without his magic, not wanting to see it, to know he had done that for him, given that up for him, to save Jace for him. And then to top it all off he had broken his heart, beaten his spirit and shattered his soul with cruel words and a crueler breakup. Yes, he had had reasons. He had always had reasons. All those reasons seemed hollow now.

Alec couldn't really fault Magnus for following his father; hadn't he too spent most of his life trying to please his parents and everyone else around him even when he deep down knew it was wrong? He had been so focused on getting people to like him, to care for him, he had overlooked the one person whose love had been a given from the start. Alec hadn’t known what unconditional love truly meant till now. It wasn’t like one of Clary’s silly Mundane movies. Unconditional love was brutal, beautiful, all consuming, amazing, painful, forever and never-ending. It truly meant unconditional. _To love is to destroy_. How he hated that he understood and how he hated even more that he had found one thing he agreed with Valentine on. If not Magnus loved him, he would never hurt this much, he would not feel this pain. If not he loved Magnus he would have fought more, done more. The fact Alec had had to realize since he had finally seen Magnus again was that he loved the Warlock more than anything; more than his country, his people…his life. More than his pride, his ideals…His love was - now - truly unconditional, and nothing was as dangerous, as soul destroying as a love which truly and completely was unconditional.

Lorenzo looked sympathetically and sadly at him, hints of tears in his eyes for his own fate and for Alec’s fate, both doomed it seemed to stay here, trapped in this life, for Lorenzo by his shattered mind and for Alec by his shattered heart.

“Lizard loves you,” Lorenzo told him seriously, giving Alec a big hug.

Alec held him close, enjoying the tenderness and innocence in the touch.

When they drew apart Alec smiled at Lorenzo as he said quietly, tears in his voice and compassion making his gaze soft, “I am the only one who is nice to you, Loren…Lizard. You don’t love me like that but thank you. I love you too.”

Lorenzo just smiled back. Alec wasn’t sure he really understood what he meant but he felt both better and worse having someone to share this new life of his with. Unconditional love….What an amazingly beautiful, painful, agonizing destiny to end up with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment or kudos if you are enjoying the story.  
> Some of you didn't want Magnus to soften up but as you can see he is. Hope that is ok all the same. We do need Magnus to know the truth soon so.... ;)  
> Next chapter will be a huge turning point in the story; hope you will enjoy that.


	5. I Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus is winning against Idris, Andrew is captured by Magnus' army and Alec tells Magnus he loves him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to my great beta readers as always.  
> Chapter warnings: Oral sex with some possessive elements and dirty talk, mention of war, mention of souls going to hell/soul deals, more angst and misunderstandings but a bit less than before. Alec is by accident hit by a magical blast (he's fine). Mention of Lorenzo still struggling. Talk of mortality/immortality issues.  
> This was really meant to be a short story but that ship has clearly sailed a long time ago.

_Please read the chapter notes for chapter warnings_

# Chapter 5: I Love You

A little more than a week went by. Magnus was away a lot as the war was really intensifying now. Alec only heard of the war between Idris and the Downworld from Magnus but there was no doubt Idris was losing. Alec had always known they would. A united Downworld was much stronger than Idris ever had been and ever would be.

Alec spent the days trying to reintroduce Lorenzo to human behavior and what having a human body again meant. It was slow going but Alec was happy to feel like he was doing something. He was not used to feeling as useless as he felt these days.

However, what gave him hope was that Magnus no longer made him sleep after sex. He kept his word and didn’t bring anything up Magnus didn’t want to talk about. He enjoyed the sex, but he loved the snuggles. He loved falling asleep with Magnus holding him. He lived for those small signs of affection Magnus couldn’t quite hide; stroking his cheek, kissing the top of his head…pulling the blankets up around him to be sure he wasn’t cold.

Alec still thought a lot about how he might be able to convince Magnus he loved him. At first, he had feared he would never get the chance as Magnus hadn’t wanted him to speak unless spoken to. However, as the weeks had passed, he had softened up and Alec hoped for the right moment. He was unsure it would go over well though because why would Magnus believe him when he still couldn’t explain why he had left him as doing so would break the deal with Asmodeus?

Magnus had left early today to lead his people in an attack. He had indicated it was on a key Institute and Alec had been anxious all day. When he had been Head of the New York he had ensured Max stayed in Alicante, safe, only giving him minor and less challenging hunts to keep him out of major clashes with the Downworld. However, he was considered of age after his rune ceremony and as more and more Nephilim fell or were wounded Max might be sent out. He knew Izzy and Jace would protest it, but they would be overruled. Even with his Herondale last name Jace had to bend to the Clave. He was mostly worried for Izzy and Jace as he were sure they would be involved in the major battles and heavy fighting, Jace in particular. Through the parabatai bond Alec had been able to keep track of Jace; when he got injured which had happened twice so far, his sadness, his anger, his worry. Knowing without a doubt Jace was alive gave him hope and as long as he didn’t feel any devastating despair from Jace, Alec felt sure Clary, Izzy and Max all had to be fine too.

Alec had spent the day with Lorenzo, practicing his coordination and his vocabulary. Lorenzo was slowly gaining weight but was still very thin, making him sleep more and needing more breaks. Alec had just convinced Lorenzo to go take a nap when a portal opened in the entrance hall, announcing Magnus was back. Alec drew a relieved breath at seeing him unharmed though as soon as he felt that he also felt guilty as it likely meant many Nephilim had been injured or died in the battle. He had felt some intense emotions from Jace today, mostly anxiety and worry, but he hadn’t felt pain from him. With Magnus back now the attack had to be over and Jace at least would still be alive and as he hadn’t felt despair or grief from him so would Clary, Izzy, and Max. That was something at least.

When Magnus entered the living room Alec came over to greet him with a smile on his lips that partly reached his eyes. He was happy Magnus was unharmed and oddly proud of his military genius, even though he worried for his people, his friends and family most of all. It was complicated to put it mildly.

“It went well, Alexander. It’s a big day today; an Institute fell,” Magnus told him as soon as he saw him, his cat eyes on display, shining with satisfaction and pride.

Alec frowned in concern and bit his lower lip to stop himself from asking for more details, knowing Magnus wouldn’t give any.

“I’m happy you are unharmed,” Alec said, unsure what else to say to that.

Knowing well by now how Magnus hated lies Alec always made sure to only say things he could fully commit to and this statement was and would always be true.

Magnus smiled at his words. When Alec was close enough Magnus pulled him close and into a hard and possessive kiss with one arm around his midriff. Alec melted against him as he put his arms around him, letting his love, lust, desire, and passion chase away the worries he had about the ongoing war.

When Magnus pulled back Alec looked a bit dazed at him. Magnus stroked his cheek almost tenderly for a moment. Then he seemed to pull himself together and he released his hold on Alec.

“We should celebrate,” Magnus announced with a sexy wink as he went to his favorite chair and conjured up a martini.

Magnus took a sip of his martini, looking at Alec over the rim of the glass.

“How do you wish to celebrate?” Alec asked as he walked towards Magnus, feeling his arousal increase at the implications of Magnus’ words.

He had learned by now to ignore all emotions other than his lust and desire in these situations. Ignore the conflict he felt within whenever Magnus gained another victory, ignore everything else. It made it easier to give himself over to this moment and not only pleasure Magnus but to enjoy it himself. It made everything easier.

“Surprise me,” Magnus said with a seductive smirk as he took a sip of his drink.

When Alec was close enough Magnus spread his legs in silent invitation. Without hesitation Alec went to his knees between his legs, making Magnus’ eyes darken with desire. Magnus looked intensely down at him, his cat eyes shining with anticipation as Alec freed Magnus’ already half-hard cock from its trappings. Alec licked his lips at the sight, looking up at Magnus with his own passion clearly visible in his expression. Alec took Magnus’ cock into his mouth without delay, licking around the head, enjoying the small moan of pleasure Magnus couldn’t control. He started to lick and suck around the head and along the sides before slowing going all the way down and then up again. He repeated the motion a few times before he pulled off with a naughty and loud _pop_.

“How’s that?” Alec asked huskily, looking up at Magnus.

“That’s a great surprise,” Magnus admitted in a voice filled with desire.

Alec smiled at the praise. Magnus had always been good at that, praising him. He had so rarely been praised before meeting Magnus and he had quickly found himself addicted to it.

Wanting to hear Magnus say more, praise him more, he went down on Magnus’ cock once more, fondling his balls as he did so.

“Oh! Yes!” Magnus got out as Alec continued to go up and down on his cock.

The pleasure was intensifying, making Magnus set his drink on the nearby table so he could fully enjoy it.

“Like that?” Alec asked hoarsely after he had deepthroated Magnus for another minute or two.

“You are always so good for me on your knees like that,” Magnus complimented in a voice thick with desire.

Alec managed to both beam and blush at the compliment at the same time. Magnus stroked his cheek tenderly for a moment, making Alec moan happily and lean into the touch.

Alec turned his head slightly so his deflect rune was clearly visible. The sight of the rune reminded Magnus of the betrayal the Lightwoods had done to him and the Downworld over and over. Maryse by being Valentine’s second in command and Alec when he had lied to him about the Soul Sword and then when Magnus had taken him back after Alec begged him to…Alec had broken his heart again wither another betrayal. The reminder made darkness sweep in with his desire.

“Go deeper,” Magnus ordered lustfully as he moved his hand from Alec’s cheek to the back of his neck, pushing him back towards his cock.

Alec was a bit puzzled by the sudden change but eagerly let Magnus push him back down on his cock, almost choking himself in his willingness to do it right.

“Fuck, yes!” Magnus moaned, closing his eyes in pleasure for a moment, enjoying seeing how eagerly Alec was pleasuring him.

Alec pulled off for a moment, looking up at Magnus and saw the pleasure he was giving him. It made him feel powerful and desired.

He almost said _I love you_ , feeling his passion mixing with a strong desire to please and belong and draw Magnus impossibly close to him, never wanting this moment to end.

However, he stopped himself at the last moment and instead said in a voice raw and rasped from how deep he had been taking Magnus, “Use me. I’m yours.”

Magnus looked down at him, seeing the desire in his eyes and face. For a moment they both forgot everything else but their passion and desire. He pushed Alec back on his cock using the hand on the back of his neck, although not much push was needed as Alec went eagerly and willingly. Magnus moved his hand to Alec’s hair and took a firm grip, using it to fuck himself in and out of Alec’s mouth, using him as Alec had asked for. What made Magnus tip over the edge wasn’t so much the amazing feel of Alec’s mouth, lips, or tongue. It was the way he was moaning in pleasure, the way his eyes reflected his desire, the way he eagerly took everything he was given.

“Yes!” Magnus got out, pulling out of Alec’s mouth just as he came, using his free hand to hold himself in place as he exploded on Alec’s face.

Magnus moaned with desire and his cock gave a final twist as he saw Alec try and catch as much of his cum as he could with his mouth and tongue. They were both patting heavily as Magnus released Alec’s hair and leaned back in his chair, a satisfied look in his eyes and a smile on his lips. Alec looked up at him with a look so filled with desire Magnus briefly considered using magic to get hard again, the sight of Alec on his knees before him, looking at him like that, so erotic it blew his mind.

“You do look amazing covered in **me** like that,” Magnus admitted possessively as he leaned down and pulled Alec into a hard kiss with a hand to his neck, tasting himself and the unique taste that was Alec.

When Magnus released him and drew back Alec blushed in that way only he could blush given what they had just done. However, despite his embarrassment there was a hint of pride and satisfaction in Alec’s eyes at the words, finding love in the possessiveness.

“Thank you,” Alec said softly, his voice still sounding abused after the blowjob.

Magnus smiled at that and snapped his fingers, cleaning them both up. Alec smiled back at him in thanks and leaned against his leg for a moment, enjoying the closeness. Magnus stroked his hair tenderly as he took a large sip of his martini, emptying it. He magic’d the glass away and rose, forcing Alec to move a bit back from him. Magnus felt oddly moved when Alec chose to stay on his knees and just looked up at him with a look so filled with care Magnus for a moment had trouble breathing.

“Let’s go to bed, darling,” Magnus said tenderly, the softness at odds with what had just happened.

Alec nodded and smiled happily as Magnus pulled him to his feet. Magnus guided him to the bedroom with an arm around his lower back that was both protective and possessive. Alec loved this part; the moment when Magnus allowed himself to show his care. To be tender. Alec smiled as Magnus magic’d their clothes off and helped Alec into bed. When Magnus crawled into bed himself, he pulled Alec close to his chest and tugging the covers around them both. He stroked Alec’s hair, occasionally kissing the top of his head while holding him close and safe. Alec sighed and felt like purred like a satisfied cat, allowing himself to feel content and cared for.

However, after a few moments Alec could no longer keep reality at bay and his worry and concern kept coming back to the surface, no matter how much Alec tried to get lost in the moment. He bit his lower lip anxiously, unsure how to approach the topic since Magnus allowed him to stay awake on the condition, he couldn’t bring anything up he didn’t want. Alec lifted his head and looked at Magnus, hoping he would initiate the conversation.

“What is it?” Magnus asked puzzled, seeing the worry in Alec’s eyes, feeling how tense he had suddenly become in his arms.

“Did…Izzy…” Alec asked worried, biting his lower lip anxiously.

The bond with Jace ensured he was sure she wasn’t dead but Jace seemed to feel an almost constant worry, a lot of it likely for him, so it was hard to tell if maybe Izzy could have been injured in the battle.

Magnus struggled with himself for a moment. He really shouldn’t be talking about the war with Alec. It was dangerous the way he was starting to allow Alec back into his heart. He had to be incredibly careful or Alec would just betray him again, choosing Nephilim above him and his people. And ultimately break his heart again.

“She wasn’t there,” Magnus assured him, and Alec drew a relieved breath.

“Thank you,” Alec said heartfelt.

Magnus hated how much Alec’s affectionate look and words warmed him. Having Alec with him these last many weeks had made Magnus realize and truly feel how lonely he had been without him. Hatred and revenge could only keep you warm up to a certain point.

He tried to sound nonchalant as he added, “Jace either but you knew that.”

As soon as he had spoken Magnus cringed inwardly. He had just offered information. For no reason. For free. Again! Seriously?! He had to stop this, now!

Alec smiled widely at Magnus’ words.

“I did, yes,” Alec admitted.

“Your _handsome_ blond friend was there,” Magnus said with a hint of darkness to the words, stroking Alec’s hair absentminded.

“Blond?” Alec asked, frowning, trying to think who Magnus could mean.

If not Jace then who else was blond whom Magnus seemed to have an issue with? Then suddenly it hit him.

“Oh, Andrew,” Alec guessed, looking at Magnus to see if he was right.

Magnus was relieved at seeing Alec’s reaction; that Andrew’s name hadn’t come to mind at once. Ok, so maybe he had been a bit jealous, but Magnus now knew it was justified. Alec had shown him when he had left him that he would always choose power and his own people over him. He had proven his love wasn’t unconditional.

“Yes.”

“Is he…dead?” Alec asked carefully, trying to hide his worry, afraid if he showed too much concern Magnus might get jealous again and this time express that in a more volatile way than when he had lost his magic.

After he had lost Magnus Andrew had become a close friend to Alec. Never more than that but it had been nice to finally have a gay friend, talking about how it had been like growing up in Idris and their shared struggle against the homophobic society they had been born into.

Magnus’ eyes narrowed suspiciously, worried Alec asked because he cared for Andrew. Maybe he even loved him. They had been apart for a long time; Alec could have found someone else. The idea of someone else touching Alec made Magnus furious and he held tighter around him.

“Not yet,” Magnus said ominously.

Alec had guessed over time Asmodeus might be getting some of the Nephilim prisoners in return for helping Magnus and the Downworlder army given that Alec had heard from Magnus that the Downworld army had suffered very few losses. A Nephilim soul in Hell was worth a lot and would offer a lot of power and protection.

Alec forced himself to remain calm, hiding his fear of the answer as he asked, “Is he here in the Mundane world?”

Magnus wasn’t surprised Alec had guessed his father had gotten some souls in payment for protecting his people; all the people of the Downworld. However, he wasn’t about to tell Alec he only gave the Nephilim prisoners who had committed war crimes against the Downworld and therefore by Downworld law would have been put to death anyway. For that very reason Andrew had never been on that list and would just be held in captivity together with the other prisoners till Magnus decided what to do with them after Idris surrendered.

“Yes.”

Alec felt relief wash over him. If Andrew had been sent to Edom it would likely be the end for him. It was possible but exceedingly difficult to get a soul back from Edom…not to mention that Nephilims would die in Edom shortly after arriving if not they were protected with spells or other supernatural protection.

Alec was silent for a moment, reflecting on his options. Again, as before, he decided to be honest and direct in the expectation in the hope Magnus would value that from him.

“Will you spare him?” Alec asked, letting a hint of worry show in his voice.

Magnus gave Alec an intense look, trying to figure out why he was asking. How much did Andrew really mean to him? He didn’t want to tell Alec the truth of how his army treated Nephilim prisoners at this point and admit Andrew had never been in any danger. He wanted to see what Alec truly felt for Andrew.

“It’s war and war in the Shadow World is always brutal,” Magnus reminded him darkly. He paused before he added, “So why should I? The Downworlders Idris has captured has not been shown any kindness; they have all been tortured for information and then burned alive according to my insider sources.”

Alec groaned inwardly. He had told the Clave not to give into those old and dark ways. He had told them it would backfire. It seemed after he had been captured and the conflict and gone into full on war the Clave had gone right ahead and ignored his advice.

So that left Alec with a dilemma greater than Magnus’ jealousy or fears. Magnus was a war leader now; showing mercy to your enemies when they showed none to you would require unique charisma and an extremely strong powerbase. It would be a risky move as Downworlder hardliners would oppose it. At best Magnus could postpone a decision but outright show mercy…So why should he do that?

“He would make a good trophy. It would show your superiority and that of the Downworld,” Alec suggested, frankly unsure how to convince him, feeling himself that that was a very weak reason as Magnus already had a much better trophy; him.

“I have you my dear. A Lightwood and former Head of the New York Institute. I could not ask for a better trophy,” Magnus reminded him, possessiveness and pride showing in his expression.

Alec knew Magnus would see that even though he had hoped he might then want two trophies. Though objectively a Nephilim like Andrew, someone from a poor family and with no connections and who wasn’t a leader but just a common solider…. Alec had to admit he wasn’t a very desirable trophy. He needed another reason, something else.

“He could do different tasks then. Things outside the loft that you don’t want me to do that require Nephilim blood; maybe spells or to get through wards or something like that,” Alec suggested, desperate to try and find something, anything.

Alec had to fight himself as he suggested it, aware he was giving Magnus ideas on how to defeat Idris in his desire to see his friend safe. However, he had also become quite certain during his time here that Magnus wasn’t likely to use him for such missions; Magnus seemed content to keep him here at the loft.

Magnus was both puzzled and oddly pleased to hear Alec offer him ideas on how to use Andrew to defeat Idris. Alec was right; a Nephilim could get through wards or other protections placed against the demon blooded. It wasn’t a bad reason at all for keeping Andrew around. He hadn’t wanted to use Alec like that for several reasons; could he be trusted? Could Jace track him and steal him away from him as soon as he left his wards? And of course…Magnus didn’t want Alec to be in danger like that. He was safe here in the loft and he was _his_! But Andrew on the other hand….tempting suggestion but of course, it was dependent on Andrew obeying, being loyal to him. What was the likelihood of that?

“Nephilim are rarely easy to control,” Magnus said regretfully. Alec looked so sad Magnus couldn’t stop himself from offering him a soft smile.

Magnus stroked Alec’s cheek tenderly as he added, “You are the exception, Alexander.”

Alec leaned into the touch, briefly closing his eyes, finding comfort and solace in the closeness. Then he pulled back and looked at Magnus again and took a deep breath, trying one more time.

Alec knew he was out of real arguments so instead he gave Magnus a pleading look as he asked softly, “Please…make an exception of him. I can make him obey.”

Magnus frowned at Alec’s insistence. What was Andrew to him? He felt jealousy make his anger flare and fear grabbed his heart; fear of losing Alec again.

Magnus’ expression hardened as he asked coldly, “What will I get?”

His words gave Alec hope and made him overlook the coldness in his tone, the hint of fear and doubt, loss and worry that Magnus had been unable to hide.

“Anything you wish,” Alec quickly offered.

“I already have everything I wish,” Magnus reminded him, stroking his cheek before he took a firm grip on his chin, reminding Alec he was here, and he was **his**.

“Please, I will do anything,” Alec begged, getting frantic, unsure how to convince Magnus he could make Andrew obey without him thinking Andrew was more than a friend. When Magnus had been jealous the first time Alec had barely even spoken to Andrew.

Magnus removed his hand from Alec’s cheek, not liking how insistent Alec was about Andrew. What was it with Alec and blonds anyway?! Well, he was done being used or being the replacement! He would be number one and only number one!

“Don’t you already?” Magnus remarked darkly.

Alec had to fight the urge to roll his eyes at him, finding his jealousy both endearing and very frustrating. The first time it had happened it had just been cute, but now Alec realized he should have seen Magnus had felt like that because he felt insecure and weak without his magic, fearing he would lose Alec because he was no longer useful. And of course, he had then taken Asmodeus’ deal and proven all of Magnus’ fears right so he had very few good arguments left.

“What can I do? Please tell me,” Alec pleaded desperately, not knowing what else to say.

Magnus fought to control his jealousy. He didn’t want the moment spoiled. He didn’t want to be angry with Alec or fight with him.

“I don’t want to debate this with you, Alexander,” Magnus said firmly.

“Magnus, please,” Alec tried again, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“Alexander, no. Let’s just enjoy this moment,” Magnus warned, frowning at his persistence on the matter and fighting to calm down.

Desperate and unsure what else to say to change Magnus’ mind Alec blurted out the one thing he had not said yet, the one thing he had wanted to say in a controlled and careful way, a planned way. Now it just came out, his voice small and pained, desperate and pleading.

“I….Love you.”

Magnus froze, the words that had once meant the world to him now a mockery after Alec’s betrayal. That Alec would use such a lie now, just to get Andrew here…. Magnus hadn’t thought Alec could hurt him worse, betray him more than he had already done. And yet hearing this, seeing Alec being willing to use their past against him, his love against him, just to save Andrew who Magnus was now sure was close to Alec…It was too much.

“Don’t!” Magnus warned sharply, pushing Alec away from him and sat up in bed.

Alec pulled away from him and sat up as well.

“Why? I do,” Alec insisted, giving Magnus a stubborn look, determined to go through with it now that he had gone there.

“Don’t say that!” Magnus said furiously, the words feeling like acid on his heart, his cat eyes now flashing in warning.

Magnus sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed, running a hand through his hair in frustration and anger, looking straight ahead and away from Alec, fighting to calm down.

Alec saw the warning signals but continued, feeling he had little to lose at this point. Either he convinced Magnus and his love declaration would matter enough to sway him to spare Andrew or he had no other cards to play to save his friend. He had to try.

Alec moved so he was now sitting next to Magnus on the bed, giving him an intense look, seeing the pain hidden under the anger coming off Magnus in waves.

“I mean it,” Alec said strongly, nodding. He put a hand on Magnus’ nearest thigh as he repeated in a strong and firm voice, “I love you.”

The words burned like the lashes from a whip, tearing Magnus’ heart and soul to pieces.

“Shut up!” Magnus yelled sharply, anguished, pulling forcefully away from Alec so his hand fell away from his thigh.

Magnus’ magic was connected to his emotions. His agony and pain that he perceived coming from Alec made red magic appear around his hands. On instinct the magic sought to protect Magnus and eliminate the threat. A blast of red magic hit Alec in the chest and he was thrown across the room. He landed on the floor and gave a pained grunt, both from the burn from the blast itself and the force with which he had hit the floor.

For a moment Magnus sat frozen, looking at Alec in horror. He fought to calm down and his fear and worry for Alec made the magic disappear again from his hands.

“Damn,” Magnus mumbled frustrated, his voice filled with guilt and regret.

Magnus rushed over to Alec, his heart in his throat even though Alec was already sitting up, a hand to his temple, grimacing. Alec looked up at him with concern but as always unafraid in the face of the immense power Magnus commanded. Seeing that Magnus felt all his anger disappear, all the pain Alec had given him vanishing and his heart swelled with the love he had fought so hard to repress. He smiled warmly, heartfelt. Alec looked taken back but then a smile broke free, transforming his face. The sight was breath-taking and so moving it stole Magnus’ breath to know that just one smile from him could get this reaction from Alec.

Magnus reached out a hand towards him and pulled the Nephilim to his feet.

“I’m sorry I lost my temper. I didn’t mean to….” Magnus began regretfully, letting his magic scan Alec for injures.

Alec smiled at the care he felt in Magnus’ concern and stood still, letting Magnus fuss over him.

“I’m fine, but for that look in your eyes I would like to get injured more often,” Alec interrupted, teasing but his expression was serious. For that care he could see in Magnus he would gladly suffer anything.

“I don’t want you injured at all,” Magnus insisted firmly, knowing it was a bit odd to say considering their current relationship, but he meant it.

Magnus magically healed the damage his magical blast had caused, making sure not even a bruise would remain.

“There,” Magnus said satisfied when he was done and his magic faded away.

Alec gave him a tender look.

“I love you. I mean it. I love you,” Alec insisted, his voice strong and sure.

Magnus briefly closed his eyes in pain at the words, fighting to stop his heart from breaking and being ever so hopeful. When he opened his eyes again Alec was still looking at him with what Magnus would have called love if he didn’t know better.

“Why are you doing this to me?” Magnus asked agonized, shaking his head in confusion.

“Because I mean it,” Alec insisted.

Alec was about to reach out for Magnus, but he pulled his arm back, making Alec give him a sad look.

“You left me at my weakest. At my lowest. When I needed you the most. After you had begged me to forgive you and take you back after you withheld information about the Soul Sword from me. After I sacrificed everything for you, to help your parabatai, to help your people. After I had given and given and given! You abandoned me when I was no longer useful,” Magnus reminded him in a cold and harsh tone, his agony and pain coming through the anger.

Alec bit his lower lip anxiously, knowing he couldn’t explain it, he couldn’t betray the deal with Asmodeus. If he did Magnus would lose his magic again and then all of this would have been for nothing.

“I know. I’m sorry,” Alec said in a sad and pained voice, fighting tears, hating to know he had hurt Magnus so badly.

Magnus wasn’t sure how to react to that. Sorry? He was sorry? He used him, lied to him and he was sorry?!

“That’s it? Sorry?” Magnus snorted darkly, pain and hurt twisting the words.

“Yes. I’m so sorry I hurt you,” Alec insisted, his regret and sympathy, care and worry clear in his words.

Magnus gave him a searching look. He looked and sounded sorry but how could he believe him? He had left him at his weakest, lowest, telling him he couldn’t love him without his magic, that he had changed. And now suddenly he was to believe he loved him?

“I can’t believe you,” Magnus admitted, pain and regret at that fact coming through in the words.

Alec looked lost for a moment.

“I understand. What I did to you was unforgiveable,” Alec admitted, saddened to see how shocked Magnus looked at his confession. Had Magnus genuinely thought he would do that? That he would be that cruel? Did Magnus think that little of him? Or maybe rather…did he think so little of himself?

“Yes, it is,” Magnus said hoarsely, a lump in his throat, overwhelmed by Alec’s honest confession.

Alec twisted his brain. What could he do? How could he possibly prove his love? A test? But no test could possibly sooth the pain and hurt he saw in Magnus. Then what? Then an idea came to him.

“Cast a truth spell and ask me,” Alec suggested eagerly, nodding to emphasize his point.

Magnus looked shocked at him. Truth spells were used for interrogations. They hurt the person under the spell if they lied; pure agony would run through their bodies.

“What? No!” Magnus denied strongly, not wanting to hurt Alec like that, certain he would because surely Alec could not be telling him the truth.

“Please. Do it. I want you to,” Alec insisted, looking pleadingly at him, about to reach for him again but managed to stop himself at the last moment, remembering how Magnus had pulled away from him earlier.

His insistence annoyed Magnus and his rage and darkness won over his concern and care. If Alec thought he could trick him, trick the spell…well, why should he protect him then?

“Fine!” Magnus said darkly and made red magical smoke appear in his right hand.

Magnus touched Alec’s forehead with the magic, and it faded from view, now laying as a thin cloud around Alec’s mind and soul, ensuring any questions Magnus would ask him now would be truthfully answered or painfully punished if he lied.

“Ask me now,” Alec said in a strong and sure voice.

Magnus sighed inwardly; he really didn’t want to do this, but Alec was so sure…He would heal him after and remove the spell. Maybe this was also best for them both; the certainty was surely better than the stupid hope Magnus’ heart kept having which tormented him day and night.

“Do you love me?” Magnus asked quickly, wanting this over with.

Alec took a deep breath and gave Magnus an affectionate look.

“Yes. I love you,” Alec repeated softly.

The whole world seemed to stand still as Magnus almost forgot to breathe.

“What?” Magnus said shocked, the answer completely unexpected.

He had been so sure he had been justified in his judgement of Alec, of him having used him. What was going on here? How could he love him now, after everything that had happened? How was that possible?

Unsure what to do with this information Magnus gave Alec a confused and lost look as he got out, “But….”

“Please, spare Andrew. He really can be useful to you and I can make him obey you if you bring him here. I ask as he has become a friend, but he is not nor will he ever be anything more. I love only you,” Alec begged softly, giving him a pleading look.

Magnus was even more shocked. This was true as well, the spell guaranteed it. What was going on? How was that possible? Could he have misjudged Alec? How could Alec love him now? How? What had changed?

Unable to look into Alec’s open and vulnerable expression, unable to really know how to deal with any of this Magnus looked away and did a dismissive hand wave.

“Fine, fine! He can care for the lizard I guess and do the missions I need a Nephilim for,” Magnus gave in, trying to sound cold and hard but he sounded shaken and unsure even to his own ears.

Alec smiled widely in relief. Magnus believed him and he had saved Andrew! He hadn’t been this happy in ages.

“Thank you!” Alec said joyfully.

Unable to control himself Alec threw his arms around Magnus and held him close. Magnus stiffened at first but then he held Alec around his midriff. Alec looked up at him, eyes shining with love and joy and Magnus couldn’t help but smile back. Alec _did_ love him, he did. He could work with that. Why not claim this happiness for himself? Magnus tipped Alec’s face with a hand under his chin and kissing him warmly. When they drew apart, they were both smiling.

“Now, let’s get some sleep,” Magnus insisted with a fond smile, taking Alec’s hand in his and leading him back to bed.

Alec nodded and as soon as they were back in bed Alec snuggled close to Magnus’ chest, still smiling happily. Magnus closed his arms around him once more. Alec smiled even more when Magnus kissed the top of his head tenderly.

“I love you, Magnus. I really do,” Alec mumbled ever so softly but this time Magnus could hear him loud and clear. “And you can keep the truth spell in effect. Then you will always know I am telling you the truth.”

Magnus held Alec tight, overwhelmed by the offer and the care. Alec truly _did_ love him and was willing to prove his loyalty. But how could Alec love him? _When_ had he changed his mind? _What_ had changed his mind? Magnus tried to think about it and suddenly he was sure he knew. He was sure he understood. Alec had left him because he had been powerless, without his loft, his title or his magic. Alec loved him now because all of that had changed. It hurt a bit to understand the connection, to realize Alec’s love was conditional on his power and influence. He had always wanted someone to love him unconditionally….

However, as Magnus looked at the sleeping Nephilim in his arms his expression softened. Unconditional love would never be his; he understood that now. It had been a dream anyway; who could ever love someone like him unconditionally? However, he could have Alec all the same. Now that he knew what was needed for Alec to love him and he had the truth spell…He could ensure Alec would never leave him ever again! But if he allowed himself to feel for Alec again, he knew his heart would never survive if he lost Alec once more, for **any** reason. He would have to ensure he couldn’t, he wouldn’t ever lose him. For any reason. For anything!

Therein laid a challenge of course as Alec was mortal, a fact he had always been keenly aware of and it had always created a rift between them. If he opened his heart again, he couldn’t endure thinking he would lose Alec eventually, no matter what else he did to keep him. He smiled to himself as an idea came to him. His father had talked of a spell that could bind a mortal’s soul to his, making them live as long as he did. Doing so would mean he would not even lose Alec to old age as his age would freeze to the moment their souls were bound. Jace would be an issue as half of Alec’s soul was Jace’s so he would likely be immortal too. Magnus frowned thinking about it. Jace wasn’t Magnus’ favorite person after giving up his magic for him but he couldn’t have Alec immortal without including Jace in the deal as Alec’s soul was shared with Jace. However, Magnus was sure Alec would love to have his parabatai around for eternity and it would further ensure Alec would keep loving him after Alec saw this clear proof of his power.

Magnus made a mental note to tell his people to only wound but not aim to kill the blond warrior in battle. He would give the same command for Izzy and Max. He had never had anything against either of them and were actually rather fond of Izzy.

Magnus was proud of his plan; this would surely make Alec happy and prove to him how strong he was, ensuring Alec would keep loving him. He would show Alec he was the most powerful Warlock ever. He would win control of the whole Shadow World and Alec would stand by his side for surely no power or title could be greater than that.

Magnus smiled to himself as he held Alec close. This wasn’t the unconditional love he had hoped for, but it was better than nothing. He could love Alec like this. This was a safe love. Alec could not leave him or betray him or break his heart again. With the truth spell and knowing precisely what had made Alec leave, Magnus now felt sure he could make Alec love him and keep loving him.

This didn’t change Alec’s betrayal or the pain he had caused but they could move ahead like this. It was a safe love. He could do that, and he would feel a bit less lonely, a bit less anguish.

Idris would likely fall very soon and at that point he would have the option and the possibility to wide out all Nephilim if he so chose. The ultimate power and control. Since Alec liked power then he would like that; he would see Magnus was far from being the powerless Warlock he had left!

Magnus held possessively around Alec and kissed the top of his head affectionately, making Alec make a small happy sound in his sleep that had Magnus smiling. He would surprise Alec tomorrow with breakfast in bed. Maybe he would magic up those breakfast waffles Alec loved. And blueberries; Alec loved that with the waffles. His eyes fell on Alec’s wardrobe and with a snap of his fingers, he changed Alec’s clothes to a style he knew Alec liked, smiling satisfied to himself. Alec would like that. Then tomorrow he would have Andrew brought here to stay and keep him company between missions he could be used for. That would clearly please Alec too.

When Magnus fell asleep, holding Alec close, he felt less alone, he felt a bit less pain and a little less sadness. However, his heart was still in pieces. Now the pieces had just been glued imperfectly together and the result resembled a heart without truly being one, missing one vital ingredient. Missing that unconditional love that would heal him and set him free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment or kudos if you are enjoying the story.


	6. To Love Is To Cry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew arrives at the loft. Magnus talk with Lorenzo and afterwards prepares a romantic surprise for Alec.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to my amazing beta readers as always.  
> Thanks so much to Mara/Tayar (beloved) aka penguin for the great art.  
> Chapter warnings: Angst, still some misunderstandings but less than before, talk of morality, war and the concept of love.

_Please read the chapter notes for detailed warnings_

# Chapter 6: To Love Is To Cry

Magnus did indeed magic up breakfast for Alec in bed, all his favorite dishes. He even added some magically floating colorful leaves to the scene that disappeared on impact with any object as Alec had told him his favorite season was fall. Alec had been overwhelmed and overjoyed, even more so when he had found dark, plain, and rather loose hanging outfits hanging in his closet which was what he felt comfortable in. Magnus had been proud of himself, convinced he was on the right track when he saw how happy Alec was with the gifts and his power to create them.

Alec had been relieved Magnus so far hadn’t asked more about why he had broken up with him as he would be unable to answer that. The truth spell forced any answer he gave to be truthful, but it didn’t force him to answer. He couldn’t tell Magnus the truth without Magnus losing his magic again. Magnus seemed better now, less sad, after knowing Alec loved him but Alec preferred he knew the truth. He hated that Magnus thought he had hurt him so much on purpose. There had to be a way to trick Asmodeus; Alec vowed to try and find a way. However, till then he would just prove to Magnus that he was loved.

Even in the mist of his fury and anger at Alec having left him Magnus’ desire and longing for love hadn’t faded. This might be a curse from his human blood, but Magnus had always feared loneliness and wanted someone to love more than he had ever wanted anything else. However, Alec’s betrayal had been the last straw. Magnus now knew, after one painful experience after the other, that trusting people left you broken, that believing in people only destroyed you and that no love was ever unconditional. Everything was a transaction. However, if anyone was good with deal-making then it was Warlocks.

Magnus had tried to move past Alec but hadn’t succeeded. He had to admit his heart wanted him and only him. However, he couldn’t trust Alec to stay forever and he needed him to stay forever this time; he would not survive losing him again. But trust could be bought; magnus knew that from experience. He just needed to know what had made Alec leave and what had made him love him now. And now he knew. The more he showed Alec his power, the more he did for him, the more he would stay, he would love him, and he would be loyal. Knowing these facts Magnus was sure he had it all figured out. This could be a good love, a safe love. It would never be an unconditional love but by now he was also sure that had never been in the cards to start with; it was a fantasy and nothing more. He could have Alec’s love and he could allow himself to love him back, safely, measured…It would ease his longing and his pain enough to help him muddle through.

Despite his desire for unconditional love Magnus had to admit he had never actually seen it. Not in the Shadow World or among Mundanes. Everything was a give and take; a dinner for sex, a diamond for a wife. It was how the love game was played and if you knew the rules, if you knew what the person you wanted desired in return….then they could be yours forever. So, Magnus knew he should be happy now. He had figured it out and Alec could now truly be his. But he wasn’t happy. He was content. With loud enough music, enough cocktails, and a busy schedule he was certain he could do what everyone else seemed to do; be ok with contentment and slowly, day by day, let foolish dreams die.

To distract himself from the gloom over his newfound piece of Paradise that Alec’s love would never fail to bring him Magnus kept busy. After breakfast Magnus went to get Andrew. Soon after he portaled back to the loft with him, appearing in the entrance hall. Alec came running towards them as soon as he heard the sound of a portal, smiling warmly and relieved at seeing them both.

“Andrew!” Alec said as he rushed over to him, scanning him for injures and with relief finding none.

Andrew was even freshly showered and wore new clothes, very Mundane in style; dark jeans and a white shirt.

“Sir!” Andrew said happily, almost on autopilot when he saw Alec, smiling.

Andrew automatically stood at parade rest but when he was close enough Alec ignored it, too emotional to bother with protocols of a life they no longer had. He pulled Andrew into a tight embrace and after a short moment of hesitation Andrew hugged him back.

“You are unharmed,” Andrew observed with relief when they separated.

Alec nodded, “Yes.” He looked Andrew over once more as he said, “So are you.”

Andrew nodded back and sobered from their moment of joyful reunion as he nodded towards Magnus who had remained standing next to them, observing the reunion with a satisfied expression that he had brought Alec this much joy.

“I was wounded in the battle and my steele was confiscated but Magnus had a Warlock, Catarina, heal me,” Andrew explained.

Alec looked to Magnus and laid a hand on his arm as he said warmly, “Thank you.”

Magnus put a hand over his, squeezing it, enjoying the touch now that he knew Alec loved him. Not how he wanted it but still loved him and for now that was enough. It had to be.

“I didn’t do it for you, but I am glad it pleases you,” Magnus said honestly.

His wording puzzled Alec but he shrugged it off, so happy that Magnus believed him, believed he loved him, to think more about it.

“Of course. I love you,” Alec readily said, ignoring the confused and shocked look Andrew was giving him at the statement.

“You do?” Magnus asked, just to be sure, knowing the spell would mean if Alec chose to answer it would have to be truthfully.

Alec was aware what Magnus was doing and though it hurt that Magnus didn’t trust him then he understood. Trust had to be earned.

“I do. I love you,” Alec repeated strongly, an affectionate look in his eyes.

Magnus smiled contently at hearing it confirmed. He stroked Alec’s cheek tenderly and kissed him softly on the lips.

“Why don’t you get Andrew settled? He can stay in the extra guest bedroom I magic'd up this morning. I want to prepare a surprise for you,” Magnus told Alec with a wink when he drew back.

Alec smiled joyfully, feeling cared for and special at hearing that. Before Magnus no one had ever made him surprises like that. Well, unless impromptu sparring lessons with Jace at 2 in the morning when he came home drunk and had pent up energy counted….

“You already surprised me this morning,” Alec protested, smiling warmly, putting his arms around Magnus’ neck.

“Well, you will really like this surprise,” Magnus promised, his voice soft as he stroked his cheek once more, unable to stop touching him.

The heated and loving look in Alec’s eyes was Magnus’ undoing and he pulled Alec even closer and kissed him passionately. When they drew apart, they were both breathless, having completely forgotten Andrew was standing there, watching them with a confused expression.

“Trust me, darling,” Magnus said teasingly, winking at him.

Alec grew serious as he said, “I do.”

Magnus’ heart shipped a beat. He did?

“You trust me?” Magnus asked, to be sure.

Alec didn’t even have to consider it. Of course, he did. He had never stopped loving him or trusting him. If Magnus had asked him this when Asmodeus had first brought him here, he would still have answered the same. He was convinced if Magnus was ever cruel to him or cold to him then it was because he deserved it. The Warlock would always be his only love and he would walk through any field with him. The Soul Sword episode and Asmodeus’ deal had taught him that. No more halfway gestures. If Magnus wanted him to commit treason against Idris like telling him about the Soul Sword would have been considered as….fine. If he wanted him to kill, destroy, betray, steal, lie or even die….There was nothing he wouldn’t do. Unconditional love was glorious like that; A glorious and all-consuming fire that would burn anything it touched in an instant.

Alec nodded as he confirmed, “Of course. With my life.”

Magnus almost beamed. He was on the right track; the mention of his upcoming surprise had clearly pleased Alec.

“Good,” Magnus said, satisfied. He looked around and when he couldn’t see Lorenzo hiding in any of the corners he asked, “Where’s the lizard?”

Alec frowned a bit in worry; Magnus normally never asked about him and hadn't spent any time with him except that first time with his father so he was unsure why he would do so now.

“He went to his room.”

Magnus nodded as he separated from Alec.

“Have him join me out on the balcony,” Magnus asked, eager to get his next surprise ready.

“Ok,” Alec agreed, biting his lower lip anxiously.

Magnus noticed Alec’s distress and frowned in concern as he asked, “What is it?”

Alec hesitated, debating with himself if he should answer but decided the truth spell would ensure Magnus believed him.

“Don’t hurt him, please. I am sure whatever he did he meant no offence. His mind…it’s not what it was and…” Alec pleaded, giving him a desperate look, aware he was babbling but unable to stop the flow of words.

Magnus shook his head at him, at first shocked Alec would think he would hurt Lorenzo but then he realized he had. Somehow in his mind Lorenzo as a man, a Warlock, had been different from the lizard. Like those two had been separate things. There were things he had felt ok with doing to a lizard that doing to a human was unthinkable. Keeping a human in a glass cage alone would be something Magnus wouldn’t do. A lizard…no problem. Morality was a funny thing sometimes….

“Shh,” Magnus said calmingly, putting a finger to Alec's lips, silencing him.

Alec looking expectantly and hopeful at him.

“Don’t worry, darling. I am not angry with him. I just want to talk,” Magnus assured him.

Alec sighed in relief as he said, “Oh. Ok then.”

Magnus gave him a quick kiss before he turned and walked into the living room.

“I will be out on the balcony,” Magnus said over his shoulder.

“Ok. Love you,” Alec said with a fond smile after him.

Magnus smiled at hearing that; he was sure he would never grow tired of hearing it. He did a small wave before he walked to the balcony.

As soon as Magnus had left Andrew was by Alec’s side, looking his friend over for injuries or other signs of distress once more and in more detail but again finding none. Alec turned from watching Magnus to giving Andrew a warm smile.

“I am so relieved to see you,” Andrew admitted, smiling back.

“Likewise,” Alec replied, giving his nearest arm a comforting squeeze.

“I feared the worst,” Andrew admitted, his eyes clouded with worry.

Alec nodded, his expression turning serious.

“I have to get Lorenzo,” Alec said, remembering what Magnus had asked and walked towards Lorenzo’s room.

“Lorenzo? The Warlock?” Andrew asked confused, following Alec.

Andrew had only seen the Warlock briefly when he had had meetings with Alec, but he had liked his sense of style and remembered thinking he looked handsome.

Alec nodded, “Yes.”

Alec paused when his hand was on the door handle to Lorenzo’s room. Andrew looked even more confused as Alec warned, “He’s…different now.”

“Different?”

“Magnus turned him into a lizard that same day I broke up with him and he remained like that until a few weeks ago,” Alec explained, sympathy clear in his voice.

Andrew stared dumbstruck at him, trying to imagine such horror, and failing.

“That’s dreadful!”

Alec nodded but still felt the need to add, “Apparently Warlocks use animal transformations as punishments a lot.”

Andrew gave him a piercing look as he remarked matter of fact, “Idris burns people. Doesn’t make it right.”

“No, it doesn’t,” Alec agreed slowly, not liking the comparison but realizing it was only because it was Magnus turning another Warlock into a lizard and not because he felt Andrew’s statement was wrong.

They shared a look of collective frustration with the world they had grown up in, that they had all grown up in. The Shadow World was indeed a brutal and unforgiving place.

Then Alec turned the handle and entered the room, Andrew close behind.

Lorenzo had been sitting on the floor, cross-legged, a large coffee table book before him. The book had images of historical buildings in Europe and very little text. Alec had given it to him in the hope the structures might help prompt Lorenzo’s memories of his long immortal life, most of which he had lived in Europe as far as Alec understood from what he had read about him.

“Alec!” Lorenzo said joyfully smiling widely, unreservedly, quickly jumping to his feet when he saw him.

Andrew tried not to show his surprise at seeing how changed Lorenzo was. Since returning to his human form he had gained weight but he was still a lot skinnier than when Andrew had seen him. His outfit was close to what Andrew wore and the casual look was also new to Andrew. His body language had also changed and his facial expressions. He was more openly emotional and less guarded now than when Andrew had seen him.

Alec’s expression softened as he greeted him, “Hi lizard.”

Andrew looked at Alec, shocked he would address the Warlock like that.

Lorenzo hurried over to him and was about to embrace him when he noticed Andrew. He paused and took a step back, his expression guarded, fear and uncertainty in his eyes.

“Oh!” Lorenzo just said, looking skeptically and a bit fearfully at Andrew.

Alec quickly reached out a hand towards him as he assured Lorenzo in a calming tone, “No, no. don’t be afraid. He’s a friend.”

“Lizard?” Andrew repeated, his distaste at what he considered a disrespectful address of the Warlock clear in his tone.

Alec nodded as he explained with a sad expression, “Saying his Warlock name makes him sad, so lizard is better.”

Andrew thought he couldn’t be more shocked regarding Lorenzo's fate but apparently he could.

“Ok,” he finally said, giving Lorenzo a sympathetic look filled with shared pain.

Andrew didn’t know and could never truly know the horror of being turned into an animal like that, but he knew what it felt like to lose something and to feel like other people's pain mattered more than yours. He had read up on Lorenzo in the Clave Archives and knew the Warlock had grown up poor and was, like himself, not considered Elite among his race. He connected with him through that. The struggle, the isolation, the drive to raise above the cards you had been dealt – and the loss when it all disappeared.

Alec turned towards Lorenzo again.

“Lizard, this is Andrew. Come and say hi, please,” Alec beckoned, waving at Lorenzo to come closer again.

Lorenzo still looked uncertain, staying a bit back, fiddling with the hem of his shirt, looking down.

“Hi lizard. I’m Andrew,” Andrew said softly, bending down to his knees to appear less threatening.

Alec gave him an approving look; Andrew’s empathetic and caring nature had been one of the reasons they had become friends.

Lorenzo looked less afraid now, smiling a bit shyly at Andrew.

“Lizard, please. Come closer,” Alec asked, gesturing to Andrew.

“No, it’s ok, lizard,” Andrew assured him, giving him a warm look. “You can stay there. It’s fine. I will just wait here for when you are ready.”

Lorenzo hesitated, still nervous. Then, after a few seconds had passed and Andrew did what he had said Lorenzo stepped closer and then stopped. He continued moving closer like that until he stood before Andrew.

“Hi,” Lorenzo said quietly, still fiddling with his shirt, looking down at him but avoiding eye contact.

Andrew remained kneeling as he smiled up at him and said with a friendly, smile, “Hi lizard.”

Lorenzo relaxed more and smiled back. After a moment he bend down next to Andrew, giving him a searching look. With a hesitant hand he reached towards his hair. Their eyes met and Andrew nodded to indicate it was ok. Lorenzo stroked his hair softly before drawing his hand back.

“Blond,” Lorenzo said to him, grinning widely as if he had experienced a wonder.

“What?” Andrew asked confused, looking up at Alec for an explanation.

Alec shrugged, puzzled by the gesture. Andrew looked back to Lorenzo. Then he realized what he meant. He combed his hair with a hand.

“Oh, my hair. Yes, I’m blond,” Andrew confirmed, nodding.

Lorenzo blushed a bit and gave him a shy look as he said softly, “Hermoso _[Spanish for beautiful]_.”

Andrew was torn between finding the fragile looking Warlock endearing and deeply heartbreaking in his current state.

“What?” Andrew asked confused at Lorenzo’s word.

“I think it was a Spanish word. I read up a bit on Lorenzo’s background. He grew up in Spain and has spent a lot of time there, so he sometimes falls back on Spanish words and customs,” Alec explained.

“I don’t speak that,” Andrew admitted somewhat regretfully.

“Me neither,” Alec said, unsurprisingly as Nephilims in general didn’t learn different Mundane languages as they could use runes to understand.

“But thank you, lizard. Whatever you said sounded very nice,” Andrew complimented with a fond smile, aware Lorenzo was still looking at him with a fascinated expression.

“Blue eyes,” Lorenzo said with a smile, reaching out a hand to Andrew’s cheek, just below one of his eyes.

Andrew allowed the touch, even leaned into it, smiling encouraging.

When Lorenzo withdrew his hand Andrew nodded, “Yes.”

Lorenzo and Andrew shared a warm smile before Alec drew their attention to him, “Lizard, Magnus wants you on the balcony.”

Lorenzo quickly got to his feet and nodded at once, looking nervous as he said, “Ok.”

Alec put a hand on his arm while Andrew slowly got to his feet so not to scare Lorenzo with any sudden movements.

“It’s fine. He is not angry with you,” Alec assured him.

Lorenzo frowned but then nodded and smiled widely as he promised, “Ok, lizard will do good.”

Alec squeezed his arm in support as he said, “I’m sure you will.”

“Yes, why wouldn’t you?” Andrew confirmed, wanting to offer support and comfort even if he didn’t quite understand what was going on.

Lorenzo beamed happily at him for hearing that. He then quickly left, walking towards the balcony.

“He’s getting better,” Alec remarked as he and Andrew watched him walk away.

Andrew turned from watching Lorenzo to give Alec a disbelieving look.

“That’s being better?”

Alec nodded almost stubbornly, “He speaks more, and he can focus more. And his body is much better, more healed. More coordinated.”

Unsure what to say to that, finding the whole thing too heartbreaking to really go into Andrew decided to ask what he had been wanting to ask since he saw Alec.

“How have you been, Alec? For real?”

Alec started walking towards the kitchen to offer Andrew a cup of coffee and some food, Andrew following beside him.

“It has been difficult, but Magnus and I reached a breakthrough yesterday,” Alec admitted, smiling at the memory of last night.

“A breakthrough? In what way? Didn’t you two break up?” Andrew asked confused.

“Yes, but it’s all better now,” Alec said persistently. He gave Andrew a fond smile as he added, “He knows I love him.”

Andrew was unsure what to say to that. Not wanting to diminish his friend’s joy he just said, “Okay.”

Alec gave him a sharp look at Andrew’s tone, “You don’t approve?”

Andrew avoided his gaze before he replied respectfully, elegantly sidestepping the question, “It’s none of my business, Sir. It never was.”

They had reached the kitchen and Alec took out two cups, pouring coffee for them both.

“Andrew, we are both out of the war for the time being. Stick with Alec,” Alec told him as he handed him a mug.

Andrew accepted the mug with a smile as he said, “Ok, Alec.”

After they had each taken a sip Alec gave Andrew a questioning look as he asked, “So?”

Andrew was thoughtful for a moment before he admitted, “I guess I don’t understand how you can still love him.”

Alec wasn’t really surprised by his comment; not many Nephilim had understood his love even before the war had started. Andrew had been one of few who had never taken issues with Magnus being a Downworlder and as Andrew was gay himself then not with him being male either. It had been a nice change for Alec as he had had to fight almost all other Nephilim on both or at least one of those.

“Your question is wrong,” Alec told him frankly after a moment of reflection.

“What do you mean?” Andrew asked puzzled.

“ _Still_ love implies love stops, that love is conditional.”

Andrew was thoughtful for a moment, considering it.

“Well…isn’t it?” Andrew asked, frowning.

“I used to think so. You and I, all Nephilim really, we were raised to think that. If we did well, we were praised or at least not punished and that was the best we could hope for from our parents and instructors,” Alec explained.

“But it is different with Magnus?” Andrew guessed, thinking about Alec’s reply for a moment more.

Alec nodded, smiling fondly as he thought of the Warlock and his love for him as he said, “Very. I love him. Unconditionally.”

“Even now?” Andrew pressed.

“Ever. Always. There is no _even now_. There is no _still_ in unconditional love. It is there. Always,” Alec told him honestly.

There was a hint of joy, a hint of pain, a hint of happiness and a hint of despair in Alec’s eyes that moved Andrew even more than meeting Lorenzo had done.

“I both envy you that and pity you,” Andrew said quietly.

Alec was a bit taken back by hearing that, reflecting on his reply.

“An adequate description, my friend,” Alec admitted after a few seconds.

They stood in silence for a moment, thinking about the meaning of love and hate, joy and pain and everything in between.

“So, he has been treating you well?” Andrew finally asked to change the topic.

Alec nodded, smiling as he said, “Yes.”

Andrew smiled back, relieved to hear it confirmed, “Good.”

Alec took another sip of his coffee before he asked worried, “How are everyone?”

Andrew’s expression and tone got serious as he replied, “Jace is on the front lines constantly. Got injured a few times but he’s fine. Worries for you a lot. Raphael is now a priest in a church here in New York and Simon is with him a lot since he, being a vampire, is denied entry to Idris and all Institutions after you were taken. He stays with Raphael now. Clary works in Alicante with logistics. She has invented runes for creating portals, healing and protection which lasts longer than normal runes.”

“That should see Idris stand tall for a while longer,” Alec said, relieved to hear Jace was ok. And Simon, Raphael and even Clary; the little girl had grown on him over time.

Andrew nodded his agreement.

“Max?” Alec asked anxiously.

“He’s safe,” Andrew assured him, and Alec released the breath he didn’t know he had been holding. “Been in a few minor battles but Izzy and Jace has been by his side and rather protective of him.”

Alec nodded proudly at hearing that.

“And Izzy?” Alec asked concerned.

“She’s good too. Fierce. Also on the front lines a lot,” Andrew told him.

Again, Alec nodded in relief, happy to hear Izzy was unharmed.

“And the war?”

“Magnus has defeated his first Institute. That was where I was captured,” Andrew told him.

Alec nodded grimly as he asked, “What are your predictions for the war?”

Andrew sighed, taking another sip of his coffee before he admitted, “Idris should have accepted Magnus’ offer of unconditional surrender and betted on his sense of fairness; we would have stood a better chance then.”

“And now?” Alec asked worried.

“The captured Downworlder combatants should have been treated fairly. Instead, they were tortured and burned alive. Magnus will never forgive that. He can’t. The Downworld can’t. Idris has gone too far for too long,” Andrew admitted, frowning.

“We have doomed ourselves,” Alec concluded darkly.

“We have, yes,” Andrew agreed.

They stood in silence for a few moments, mourning how things had turned out. Despite the flaws their people had, the injustice and cruelty in Idris, it was still their homeland and their people and the thought they might lose it all was painful.

"I won't give up on my dream for peace. I will see if I can talk with Magnus. Maybe there is still hope," Alec said stubbornly.

"Maybe but I doubt the Clave will move on this even if Magnus does," Andrew admitted in a defeated tone.

Alec didn't reply, determined to try anything.

He gave Andrew a small smile as he admitted quietly, “Despite everything then I am glad you’re here with me.”

Andrew smiled back as he replied, “Me too.”

“How were you treated? You and the other Nephilim prisoners? You look well,” Alec asked to change the topic before both their minds got too caught up in darkness.

“Fine. We were all kept in a large hotel structure, magically locked inside and out of communication range of anyone and our steeles had been taken away. There were rooms for everyone, we could walk freely about, food and drinks of all kinds were on offer all day long, there was even a pool and a gym. Everything as in a Mundane hotel. We were just locked in there,” Andrew revealed. He paused before he admitted, “We were treated better than Idris has ever treated any prisoners of any race and better than even the most modern Mundane countries so I really can’t complain.”

Alec couldn’t help but be proud of Magnus for that, that even in the mist of his quite righteous anger and war he had not only not overstepped any lines, but he had acted better, more merciful than any war leader ever had in the history of the Shadow World.

“No one were sent to Edom?” Alec asked with a hint of disbelief and confusion.

More Downworlders should have perished if not Magnus had offered something in return for protection….

“Yes. I think a few of the captured former Circle members who the Clave never punished were,” Andrew admitted, shrugging nonchalant. In his opinion that was a much kinder fate than they deserved considering they had committed genocide against the Downworld.

Alec nodded, agreeing completely with Andrew’s unvoiced judgement, “Oh. Ok”

Alec took out plates and started finding buns, butter, and cold cuts so Andrew and Lorenzo could have lunch, thinking Magnus’ surprise might involve food so he didn’t want to spoil it. And if he were wrong, he would just eat later.

“What will be expected of me here? Do you know?” Andrew asked as he helped Alec find stuff in the refrigerator to put on the kitchen counter.

“It is mostly waiting, doing nothing,” Alec admitted as he put the last stuff on the counter.

“Doing nothing?” Andrew asked in disbelief.

“A rather agonizing thing to do to be honest,” Alec replied with a small smile.

“What else?”

“Caring for Lorenzo and going on missions Magnus needs a Nephilim for,” Alec went on, explaining what he had talked with Magnus about last night.

“Why doesn’t he send you?” Andrew asked confused.

“He doesn’t want me leaving the loft,” Alec said matter of fact.

“Why not?”

Alec paused what he was doing for a moment, thinking about it for some seconds.

“I don’t think he wants to lose me one way or another; to harm or if I ran off…or were tracked and rescued,” Alec said reflectively, making air quotes around _rescued_ as he said it to make it clear he didn’t want any rescue from Magnus.

When Magnus believed him again, when he had earned his trust with the truth spell, then maybe Magnus would feel ok to let him go outside with him for anything from romantic dinners to helping with the war. Alec would like that; to help Magnus and prove himself.

“But these missions…I would be helping Idris fall,” Andrew guessed, frowning.

“Yes.”

“And you want me to do that?” Andrew asked confused to be sure they were talking about the same thing.

“Yes,” Alec admitted, his voice sure but pained.

“Why?” Andrew asked, dumbstruck by the response.

“Idris will fall eventually. By shortening the war, we might save lives,” Alec explained grimly.

“Providing Magnus is merciful,” Andrew reminded him.

“Yes, but I am willing to bet on that a million times more than bet on mercy from the Clave,” Alec said frankly.

Andrew gave a dark smile as he nodded, “Point taken.”

Meanwhile Lorenzo had hurried out to the balcony. It was a nice day, the sun was shining, and Magnus had magic’d up a table with a white tablecloth, candles in a silver candlestick and a trolley with large silver trays with food. He had magic’d flowers everywhere and the same magical autumn leaves from the breakfast were dancing in the air and vanishing when they touched a surface only to reappear a few meters up and slowly fall down again.

“Lizard,” Magnus acknowledged when he saw him.

Seeing Lorenzo now Magnus found that he was so changed, so different from the Lorenzo he had been it was hard to remember he was the same Warlock who had hurt him. Added to that then Alec’s love confession last night had eased his burdens and smoothened his soul, cooling his temper and his rage. Magnus now found that with the passing time and the change in Lorenzo he had little resentment towards the other Warlock left.

“Hi,” Lorenzo said nervously but giving a wide smile, eager to please as he stood before him.

“Alexander told me you demanded his bow and quiver in payment for taking your magic back when I was dying,” Magnus stated matter of fact, giving him a searching look.

Lorenzo frowned as he asked a bit hesitantly, “Lizard?”

Magnus nodded, “Yes. You.”

Lorenzo fought to think back, looking angry and sad when something stirred in his mind.

“Bad. Bad lizard!” Lorenzo scolded, taking his fists up to his head in frustration.

Confused Lorenzo started to beat against his temples to stop the memories and the emotions.

If Magnus had felt Lorenzo was different after he had been returned to human form, then this out of control display confirmed it for him.

“Lorenzo! Stop that,” Magnus ordered sharply, using magic to force his fists away from his face and down by his sides, a bit shocked to be witnessing this. This wasn’t the Lorenzo he had hated.

“Lizard. Just lizard,” Lorenzo insisted, sounding upset and sad, tears at the corners of his eyes.

“Ok, fine. Lizard, stop doing that,” Magnus insisted.

Lorenzo took a deep breath and nodded. Magnus released his fists and withdrew his magic.

“Angry?” Lorenzo asked hesitantly, a bit nervously.

“I….” Magnus started but then stopped.

Magnus took a deep and calming breath, finding the question very deep and insightful if he were to answer it truthfully which he always tried to do. He sighed and snapped his fingers, making a martini appear in his hand.

“Here,” Magnus said, handing Lorenzo the martini.

“For…lizard?” Lorenzo asked, smiling widely, joyfully.

Lorenzo’s reaction to the drink further helped cool Magnus’ rage. This truly wasn’t the Lorenzo he had hated so much. Not any longer.

“Yes. Come sit here,” Magnus insisted, sitting down on one of the chairs by the table and waving towards the other chair for Lorenzo to sit there, magic’ing a martini for himself too.

“Ok,” Lorenzo agreed with an eager smile.

“You can drink it,” Magnus assured him when Lorenzo just stared at the drink.

Lorenzo quickly emptied it all, the burn of the alcohol making tears come to his eyes again.

“Oh. Good,” Lorenzo said happily with a sincere smile.

“That was a lot at once, even for a Warlock,” Magnus got out in surprise, realizing he hadn’t actually spent any time with Lorenzo since he had turned him to human form, so he hadn’t noticed till now just how different, how lost, he seemed.

“Good,” Lorenzo repeated, still smiling.

Magnus took a sip of his own drink as he asked, “More?”

“Please,” Lorenzo said eagerly.

His answer further told Magnus the Warlock he was talking to now was not the one he had known before. Magnus snapped his fingers and Lorenzo now had a tall glass in his hands.

“There. That’s a Long Island Iced Tea. Sip it,” Magnus cautioned.

“Ok,” Lorenzo said eagerly, taking a sip.

“So, Alexander’s bow and quiver?” Magnus asked to get the conversation back on track.

“Bad,” Lorenzo said sadly, regretfully, clearly remembering at least part of the episode.

His reply made Magnus reflect on that statement. Had he actually been bad? Lorenzo hadn’t done anything Magnus himself hadn’t done and wouldn’t have done if not he had been in love with Alec. It made him reflect on his decision to turn Lorenzo into a lizard. He had been so angry, so hurt. He had felt so betrayed, by everyone. No one had seemed to be in his corner. Everyone had taken from him; Lorenzo, Alec, the Nephilims in general….even his father had taken his magic to then give it back. Magnus was under no illusions his father had done that or helped him get revenge later on because he loved him. He had done it because it suited him. Even now, with Alec, he was happy Alec loved him but again it was a conditional love. Alec had left him when he had been weak and useless just as his father would leave him if he no longer had any need of him. As everyone did and would. It was just how it was. It was one of the reasons he had been known as a generous host or the Party Prince; always entertaining and hosting events because it was an easy way to get friendships and pretend…. Pretend he was less alone because he was at least physically surrounded by people.

“After talking to Alexander yesterday and seeing you human again…” Magnus admitted, giving Lorenzo a regretful look, his thoughts returning to the other Warlock.

“Yes?” Lorenzo encouraged, giving him a confused look as he took another sip of his drink.

“I do owe you an apology,” Magnus decided after careful consideration.

He paused, trying to explain what had happened, how he had felt but what words could adequately describe a broken heart, a broken faith, the hole of despair and agony he had fallen into which had turned into rage and fury?

“Apology?” Lorenzo repeated, giving him a puzzled look.

Magnus nodded as he tried to explain, “When I turned you into a lizard I was hurt, angry. I felt betrayed by everyone and everything. I didn’t think about why you might have acted like you did. And after you were a lizard I didn’t much care.”

Lorenzo looked confused at him.

“Bad lizard?” Lorenzo asked after a few seconds of reflection, frowning in bewilderment at Magnus’ words.

Magnus gave a small reassuring smile, realizing Lorenzo didn’t understand his complex explanation. Maybe he would one day, and Magnus vowed he would repeat it at that time.

“Actually, you were a good lizard. A good pet. You were just convenient to take my anger out on. To scare,” Magnus admitted regretfully, remorseful now in hindsight, but then hindsight was always 20/20, wasn’t it?

Lorenzo nodded but Magnus was certain he did it because he thought it was expected.

“Things I would never do to a person, to you as you are now…it was somehow easier to do that to the lizard as it didn’t speak. Wasn’t a person. I guess that is why us Warlocks has used that punishment a lot. It makes it easier for us to extract revenge without having to feel bad about it,” Magnus admitted in a dark tone.

Lorenzo looked lost for a moment before he said sadly, “Didn’t help.”

It took a moment for Magnus to realize Lorenzo was again talking of the past, clearly not really understanding Magnus’ explanation.

“No, but the only reason I did was because I loved Alexander. Otherwise, I never would have done it so why would you?” Magnus admitted.

“Hmm,” Lorenzo said, clearly not understanding. He offered his drink to Magnus as he said, “Drink?”

The gesture finally brought it home for Magnus. It really was a whole new Lorenzo and Magnus found he had no hate towards this new Lorenzo. In fact, he was rather endearing in a lost stray puppy kind of way.

Magnus shook his head, giving him an encouraging smile as he said, “No but here, try another.” Magnus snapped his fingers and Lorenzo’s drink was now a strawberry daiquiri.

“Oh,” Lorenzo marveled, looking impressed at the colorful drink in his hand.

“You didn’t seem to like the other one as much,” Magnus explained.

Lorenzo tasted it, smiling happily as he said, “Sweet.”

“Yes.”

“Thank you,” Lorenzo said as he took another sip.

Magnus took a sip of his drink as well before he prompted, “Can you remember the bow and quiver?”

Lorenzo was thoughtful for a moment but then he nodded, “Yes.”

“And?”

“Loved it a lot,” Lorenzo admitted forlorn.

“Alexander?” Magnus guessed.

Lorenzo nodded again and gave him a miserable look as he said, “Yes. Cried.”

“He cried to give it up,” Magnus assumed, nodding in understanding.

The bow and quiver were prized possessions after all and special for Nephilims which was why chosen Shadowhunter werapons sold so well on the black markets in the Shadow World.

Lorenzo gave him a puzzled look as he corrected him, “No. For you. Lizard remembers now. He always cries for you.”

His words shook Magnus’ newly found certainty regarding Alec. Why would Alec cry for him and not his bow and quiver? Surely, Lorenzo had misunderstood. Alec couldn’t think that highly of him, plain him with no magic and nothing to offer. Could he? The thought taunted him, pulling him from rage towards hope. However, another statement caught his attention.

“Always?” Magnus asked confused.

Lorenzo took another sip of his drink as he said solemnly as if this was unique knowledge he had come by, “Yes. To love is to cry.”

Magnus was astounded, taken back by the oddly philosophical statement.

“Oh. Well…” Magnus said but then his voice died away, unsure what else to say.

“So, he loves a lot. He cries a lot,” Lorenzo revealed, nodding to himself, his eyes sorrowful.

Magnus didn’t know what to make of that statement, so he focused on something else, focused on moving forward.

“Well, not anymore,” Magnus said firmly. “Where is his bow and quiver now? Who did you sell it to?”

“No one,” Lorenzo replied quickly, looking very certain about this fact.

“You didn’t sell it?” Magnus asked in disbelief.

“No. it was special. Lizard used to collect special and rare objects,” Lorenzo told him with an almost dreamy look in his eyes. He looked incredibly sad for a moment as he added quietly, looking down into his drink, “Once.”

“Once?” Magnus asked softly.

Lorenzo nodded and gave a small smile as he replied, “Another time.”

Magnus realized he didn’t really know Lorenzo at all; what had made him act like he did. He only knew he had grown up poor and had had to fight for what he had. And now he was here, having lost everything.

“Where did you keep these rare and special objects?” Magnus asked.

“In my mansions,” Lorenzo replied at once, remembering this well.

“Which mansion did you keep the bow and quiver in? The one here in New York? Spain? Somewhere else?” Magnus pressed.

Lorenzo was thoughtful for a moment before he replied, “With a weapons collection.”

Magnus sighed at the less than useful reply.

“I really need that bow and quiver,” Magnus admitted.

His whole surprise for Alec was conditional on him getting it back. What better proof of his power than to gift the bow and quiver back to Alec? He was sure Alec would love that.

Lorenzo nodded in agreement and snapped his fingers. Suddenly a bow and quiver were in his lap.

“Here,” Lorenzo said, handing them to Magnus one handed, looking expectantly, hopeful at him.

“You magic’d them here?” Magnus said unnecessary as he clearly had, impressed Lorenzo had remembered how to do so as such spell was rather complicated.

“Did good?” Lorenzo asked hopefully.

“Very good. Well done,” Magnus praised as he took the bow and quiver from him.

Lorenzo beamed happily as he said to himself. “Good lizard.”

“Yes. Very,” Magnus assured him as put his drink on the table.

He snapped his fingers, and the bow and quiver were now inside a large white box with a ribbon on it on the table. He snapped his fingers again and a bottle of red wine appeared in his hand.

Magnus handed the wine to Lorenzo, “Here.”

Lorenzo emptied his drink and put it on the table, eagerly accepting the bottle, “Thank you!”

“Alexander tells me you like red wine,” Magnus explained. “It’s Spanish as I thought you might like a taste of home.”

“Oh, yes. Thank you,” Lorenzo repeated with a smile.

Again, Magnus was struck at how different Lorenzo was now. He was starting to like this new Lorenzo with his subdued manners and odd outbursts. In contrast, the old Lorenzo had been too arrogant and too….well, frankly likely too much like himself in many ways for Magnus to care for him. Maybe old Lorenzo had had a point in that Magnus did prefer to lead, to be the center of attention and he didn’t like sharing.

“It’s ok. You can leave me now,” Magnus said, not unkindly.

Lorenzo nodded and quickly did so, a bit less afraid of Magnus now than he had been before. Magnus frowned as he looked after him, wondering at how he had gone from being completely ok with making the Warlock a lizard with no intention to _ever_ turn him back, so filled with hurt, darkness, pain, and rage to now feeling Alec's return to his life and started to change everything once again, just like meeting him the first time had done.

However, his thoughts were interrupted when he spotted Lorenzo joining Alec and Andrew in the kitchen, visible from the balcony. He quickly finished his surprise, adding a bit of sparkling diamonds to the table to complete the look and drive home how powerful he was. He then called for Alec to join him.

“What did you want talk to me about, Magnus?” Alec asked with a smile as he went out on the balcony.

“I just thought I would treat you a bit,” Magnus said warmly as he came over to him, carrying two glasses of champagne.

“Wow. This looks amazing. Magical,” Alec admitted as he looked in awe and wonder at the display on the balcony.

“Doesn’t it just?” Magnus said, beaming happily at Alec’s words.

“Very. Thank you for doing this for me,” Alec said gratefully.

“Here you go, darling,” Magnus said with a fond smile, handing him one of the glasses of champagne.

“To you,” Alec said with a wide smile, saluting him.

“To us,” Magnus corrected, touching his glass to Alec’s.

Alec’s smile widened as he repeated fondly, “To us.”

They both took a sip before looking around at the amazing display on the balcony again.

“You really didn’t need to do all of this, but I love it all. It makes me feel very special and appreciated,” Alec insisted, overwhelmed by everything Magnus had done.

Magnus only heard the latter part of the statement, disregarding the first as filler. He beamed inwardly; happy he had gotten it right.

“I wanted to,” Magnus insisted because he did; he was good at giving.

His whole life had been like that; he gave and as long as he gave something the other person stuck around. This time was different. This time it was him doing the chasing, this time it was about what he wanted and he wanted Alec. And this time he also knew how to get him and make him stay. 

“Well, it’s amazing. Exceptionally beautiful,” Alec assured him as he walked closer to the table.

Alec touched the small sparkling stones, picking up a few in his hand and inspecting them.

“Is this…diamonds?” Alec asked in disbelief and amazement, showing the small sparkling stones in his hand to Magnus.

Magnus nodded, grinning widely, “Yes.”

“Very impressive,” Alec admitted, in awe, as he put them carefully back on the table.

“Thank you,” Magnus said happily.

Eager to secure Alec’s continued affections Magnus picked up the wrapped gift and handed it to Alec as he said, “This is for you.”

Alec put down his glass on the table and took it, smiling as he insisted, “You didn’t need to give me a gift.”

Magnus brushed his words aside with a handwave as he insisted, “Go ahead and open it, darling.”

Alec undid the ribbon and took off the lip, putting it on the floor.

“My….my bow and quiver!” Alec marveled, looking amazed at Magnus as he saw what was inside the gift.

It was rare that anyone except Nephilim really understood how much a chosen weapon meant. He could use other weapons of course but only one was chosen. To a Nephilim it was a bit like giving away a part of yourself. To have it back…Alec was overwhelmed and had to fight tears.

“You like it?” Magnus asked, fairly sure he did from his reaction but wanting the truth spell to confirm it.

“It’s perfect! Thanks so much!” Alec said joyfully, getting misty-eyed as he said it, caressing the bow with a hand.

Alec put the gift back on the table so he could hug Magnus enthusiastically.

“This was so thoughtful. Thank you,” Alec said emotionally.

Magnus hugged him one-armed, holding him close. They stood like that for a moment, enjoying the closeness. Then Alec reluctantly drew back.

“I conjured up a gym as well, with a target range, connected to the loft, if you want to use it,” Magnus told him, nodding towards the loft where he could see Lorenzo and Andrew were having lunch together in the kitchen, amazed at how quickly Andrew had won Lorenzo's trust.

“That’s perfect,” Alec said affectionately, beaming at him.

Alec felt loved and special, so he wanted to make Magnus feel the same. He gave Magnus a fond look as he added, “Ask me again.”

Magnus knew what Alec meant and assumed he made the connection between the gift, the gesture, his display, and his love. Magnus was both saddened and happy to realize he had been right about that connection.

“Do you love me?” Magnus asked softly.

Alec nodded enthusiastically as he insisted, overwhelmed by everything Magnus had done today and knowing it showed on his face and in the small quiver in his voice as he swore, “I do. I love you. Always.”

Despite knowing it wasn’t the love Magnus wanted, Alec’s reply fell like rain in the desert. For months he had been running on hate alone. Hearing Alec say he loved him was priceless; even with the unspoken _I love you **if**_ attached to it.

“You mean so much to me, Alexander. So much,” Magnus got out, emotionally, tears at the edges of his eyes that he fought back.

Alec put his arms around his neck again, his heart beating faster at hearing Magnus say that. He smiled when Magnus again put his arms around his waist.

“I’m here. I love you. I’m here. I will never leave,” Alec swore quietly, giving Magnus a serious look, a lump in his throat.

His words made Magnus have to strangle a sob of joy. That was just what he wanted; eternity with someone. Never alone. So close to everything he had ever wanted and yet so endlessly far away. Alec's reply made Magnus determined to make it official as soon as possible that Alec was his, forever. The thought warmed him. Who needed unconditional love if you had forever anyway?

Alec hid his face by Magnus’ neck, feeling tears in the corners of his eyes, enjoying the moment.

Alec was reminded of what Lorenzo had told him. To love is to cry. He had never known before he had met Magnus how true that was. Without love there was no pain. Without pain life was never lived but simply survived. He was alive, his heart was beating, it was full of love, full of regret, full of joy and full of hurt. 

He was alive for the first time since he had been born and damn, wasn’t that a wonderfully painful realization to make at a time where the whole Shadow World was on the brink of collapse?

_The end of part 6_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story should be renamed musings on the concept of love. LOL  
> Please leave a comment or kudos if you are enjoying the story. Would mean a lot to me.


	7. Love Conquers Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec and Magnus finally talk, prompting Magnus to go through with his plan and propose to Alec with all the romance an immortal proposal should entail. Meanwhile, Andrew and Lorenzo grow closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to my amazing beta readers as always. 💖  
> Thanks so much to Mara/penguin for the amazing artwork. 💛   
> Chapter warnings: Anal sex, oral sex, coming untouched, Alec coming twice (lucky him!), power buttom Alec, magic used during sex, references to past betrayal and hurt. Talk of immortality. References to past chapters and what happened there. Fluff? You guys want a warning for fluff? ;)

_Please read chapter notes for chapter warnings_

# Chapter 7: Love Conquers Darkness

Magnus was lying in bed, enjoying waking up slowly while just holding Alec. They hadn’t had sex last night but just laid in bed, talking, hugging, and kissing. Yet still for Magnus it had been the best night since that fateful day Alec had betrayed him.

Yesterday’s conversation with Alec and spending the day with him having romantic meals on the balcony for lunch and dinner had made Magnus realize how much he had missed just talking to Alec. He had unique insight into many topics and even if his upbringing, like all Nephilim, had been mainly limited to matters relating to the Nephilim race Alec was curious regarding the Mundane interests Magnus had when it came to art, music and history and offered intelligent questions and fascinating comments. It was almost odd now to think how much he had hated Alec for his betrayal. When he saw Alec’s eyes sparkle when he spoke of matters that he cared for, how he smiled and nodded in response to Magnus’ comments…it was like the last year had never happened. Yet it _had_ happened. There was no denying the betrayal and hurt between them. However, if he hadn’t lost Alec, if he hadn’t hurt like that, he was unsure he would now be ready to ask for Alec to be his forever. Being without him for a year had been long enough; Magnus didn’t want to ever doubt that Alec was truly his.

Watching Alec sleep so peacefully, trustingly, once more in his arms made Magnus reflect on how his feelings had developed and how he himself had changed. Losing Alec had been devastating but it had enabled him to find the strength and focus that had always been inside of him to unite the Downworld and do what was needed to ensure justice for all Downworlders. His pain, hurt and hate had, like Asmodeus had foreseen, given him strength and power as well.

Getting Alec back Magnus discovered he had also learned to love in a different way. He understood his own needs better, he understood his own boundaries better. Looking back then when he had first met Alec, they hadn’t really been ready. Alec had been inexperienced and sheltered, insecure and struggling to accept himself after years of abuse and scorn from his own people but worse of all his own parents. He himself had after Camille’s betrayal drowned his sorrows in booze, parties, and more sexual partners than he could count but his heart had kept yearning. He had known right away he wanted Alec, but he had still been hurting and mending from emotional wounds sustained in the past – much like Alec had.

Now Magnus knew he could endure. He could survive. There was a difference between needing and wanting. He had needed Alec before. He wanted him now. It gave a calm and a certainty to his love, a maturity, a lack of naivety and yes, an honesty and rawness that hadn’t been there before. He had a feeling Alec had gone through a similar process. He was therefore not in doubt; he wanted Alec and he wanted him for eternity. Who had unconditional love anyway? He had more than most and more than he had ever had. Besides, he now knew what he did when he did things for Alec, he didn’t feel used because he chose to do it. 

Magnus’ musings were interrupted when Alec’s eyes fluttered. Alec smiled as soon as he saw Magnus watching him. Magnus smiled back and stroked some hair out of Alec’s eyes. The responding softness that fell over Alec’s face made Magnus’ heart do an awfully familiar flutter. However, beneath the love and care Magnus noticed something else in Alec’s expression.

“You look thoughtful, darling,” Magnus told him, stroking his cheek affectionately.

“I dreamt of Izzy; of talking with her again and hearing her laughter,” Alec admitted, a longing tone in his voice.

“You’ll hear it soon enough,” Magnus swore. “She is often on the battlefield; as soon as she surrenders, I will have her brought here and you two can be reunited.”

“Thank you,” Alec said, stealing a quick kiss. He frowned before he added, “But I doubt she – or Jace for that matter – would ever surrender.”

“I am sure she would if not given a choice. Jace too,” Magnus offered even though he had to admit Alec had a point. He paused before he offered the only comfort on that matter he could, “My people will do everything they can to ensure they are unharmed and surrenders so you can see them again.”

Alec gave Magnus’ nearest hand a warm squeeze as he said affectionately, “Thank you. That means a lot to me.”

“That’s why I am doing so much to ensure it as they are without a doubt among the greatest obstacles to a Downworlder victory,” Magnus admitted. He paused, reflecting on it, before he added, “Besides, I know that a broken parabatai bond should Jace die would change you forever. _A living death_ I have heard Nephilim call it. I don’t want that for you.”

As soon as he had said it Magnus was aware not long ago his resentment towards Jace had meant he had been quite eager to see him dead, his hatred clouding his judgement and meaning he hadn’t considered the impact it would have on Alec. However, not any longer. He didn’t feel that hate, that burning any longer. No, that wasn’t true. He was still burning. Still on fire. But with something else than hate. Something more, something deeper.

“Not now. Not anymore.” Magnus added frankly.

Alec nodded, appreciating Magnus’ honesty and self-awareness. Despite the fact that he had always been the one to tell Jace how much he needed him then when Alec wasn’t feeling insecure, he knew Jace needed him too, parabatai bond or not. They were yin and yang, needing each other to keep in balance.

Magnus’ honesty regarding how he had hated Jace but had now changed his mind made Alec think about his own changing feelings and perspective on Magnus, the war…even himself.

Till Asmodeus had caught him and he had seen Magnus again Alec hadn’t really known just how much he was willing to sacrifice or give up having Magnus back in his life which was everything and anything! However, despite the fact he had always loved Magnus then the changes Magnus had gone through and his rise as a war leader had also made Alec misjudge him. The constant fear of what Magnus could and would do that had flooded Idris and all around him had made Alec worry how Magnus would treat his prisoners of war – including himself and what he would do to all Nephilim if he won. He had been afraid at first when he had been reunited with Magnus; unsure what Magnus would do. He felt embarrassed about that now. Yes, Magnus had been angry and hurting. He had even hated him and with good reason for thinking he had used and betrayed him. But Alec felt he should have known there were some lines Magnus would never cross.

“Magnus, I am sorry I ever doubted you,” Alec said seriously, giving him a look filled with regret.

“What do you mean?” Magnus asked puzzled.

“About the war and just after your father brought me here. I thought maybe your anger and hatred towards me would cloud your judgement and I see now, after talking to Andrew, that you didn’t. Not regarding the important issues, the big picture. He has told me how well you treat the POWs and even though you tried so hard to hate me at first you never truly hurt me even though you easily could have done so. Yes, you weren’t the Warlock you had been when we met but you were still you, just stronger, darker…standing tall in a way that you always deserved to do,” Alec explained remorsefully, love clear in his eyes and tone. “I am sorry I misjudged you. It was uncalled for and I should have known better.”

Magnus’ expression softened.

“I wanted you to fear me when my father first brought you to me. I was _so_ angry. _So_ hurt,” Magnus admitted, a lump in his throat.

Alec felt like he had been hit, hating to know he had caused Magnus such pain.

“I am so sorry I hurt you. I really am,” Alec said emotionally, tears in the corner of his eyes.

Magnus nodded, by now sure Alec meant that.

“Though I did what I did based on the information I had then knowing what I know now I am sorry I frightened you when my father first came with you,” Magnus said honestly. He paused before adding remorsefully, “And seeing on Lorenzo what us Warlocks do to people when we turn them into animals then I apologize for turning you into a dog. I truly didn’t consider it such a horrible thing to do; it is not considered that bad among Warlocks and before Lorenzo I had no information to suggest otherwise.”

Alec got misty-eyed, a lump in his throat.

“Thank you. That means a lot to me,” Alec said emotionally.

“I should have spoken with you. Explained how I felt and why,” Magnus went on regretfully. 

Alec reflected on what Magnus had said for a moment before he replied thoughtfully, “I don’t think I was ready to listen to you even if you had explained. My worldview was clouded by my own misconceptions.” 

Magnus gave a small smile at that, appreciating the honest and reflective answer. However, one thought kept tormenting him.

“Why did you do it?” Magnus asked quietly, giving Alec an intense look, his voice still holding pain and hurt even now. “Why did you betray me?”

Alec hesitated, biting his lower lip nervously, avoiding Magnus’ eyes for a moment. It was a direct question, and the spell demanded an honest answer. But the truth was many things. He could be truthful and still keep the secret that was ensuring Magnus had his magic.

“I wanted to protect you,” Alec admitted quietly, meeting Magnus’ eyes again.

“Protect me?” Magnus asked surprised, stunned.

Alec nodded, “Yes.”

“From what?” Magnus asked confused.

“Yourself, mostly,” Alec replied directly. At Magnus’ mildly offended look Alec quickly explained, “You were miserable, depressed, drinking heavily. And without your powers I was afraid you would get hurt.”

“And throwing me aside like that was meant to help?” Magnus accused, unable to hide his anger and hurt.

Alec hung his head in shame for a moment. He didn’t regret saving Magnus, sacrificing everything _for_ Magnus. However, in hindsight maybe he could have been less emotional about it. Less impulsive. Maybe there could have been another way to get Magnus his magic back.

Alec put a hand over Magnus’, looking him directly in the eyes as he said, “I didn’t handle that well, I see that now, but I swear, and you know due to the spell I tell you the truth that I did it for the reasons I said. I did it to protect you.”

Magnus gave Alec a searching look, unsure what to say to that. If he hadn’t been so emotional, so hurt…he should have known. This was such an Alec thing to do. Protecting people at all costs. He had been so upset and hurt he hadn’t even once stopped to think.

“So, you never stopped loving me?” Magnus asked in a low unsure voice, needing to know.

Alec smiled fondly at hm as he shook his head, “Never.”

Magnus took a deep breath. Could that be true? It had to be. The spell meant it was true. But then why had Alec done it in that way? Why break his heart like that? Alec was right that it had been a very difficult time for him. Magnus also knew he had been lucky in the mist of his pain; he could not have lived without his magic. He hadn’t wanted to. He needed his magic like he needed to breathe. From a distance Magnus could see Alec was right in the sense that as depressed, sad, and drunk he had been, he had been on a downward spiral towards self-destruction and was a likely target for Alec’s enemies as well as any of his own. But why Alec had thought them breaking up and then in such a cruel way would make Magnus any less self-destructive was beyond him. 

But that was in the past. Magnus had a more pressing question now that he needed answered.

“Even without my magic? You still loved me without my magic?” Magnus asked hesitantly.

Alec looked shocked and wounded as he asked surprised, “You thought that of me? That I only wanted you for your powers?”

Now Magnus was really confused. Alec sounded so shocked by the very idea and the spell meant it was the truth.

“Well…yes,” Magnus admitted. “You left me when I was at my lowest. At my weakest.”

Alec gave him a remorseful look as he said emotionally, “I’m sorry I never made it more clear to you then how much I appreciate you for you. Because I do, Magnus. I love you for you.”

Magnus felt his joy and happiness start to rise to the surface, but his past hurt, and pain held him back.

“Even powerless?” Magnus asked, needing to ask it even though Alec’s answer had been crystal clear.

Alec nodded viciously as he elaborated, “Powerless, penniless. I don’t care. I want you for you.”

For a moment Magnus forgot to breathe. Alec loved him. Unconditionally. He was loved unconditionally. He smiled like a sun, making Alec smile too. Then be sobered as he remembered how hurt he had felt, how resentful. How he had even hated Alec.

“I am sorry too then, for misjudging you,” Magnus told him, tears in the corners of his eyes. “I truly thought you left me because I was no longer useful. I did you wrong when I so readily thought poorly of you.”

“I’m sorry I ever made you feel that way,” Alec said, a lump in his throat. He gave Magnus a chaste kiss so gentle it was like being kissed by a butterfly’s wings.

“I made myself feel that way,” Magnus said softly after a few moments of reflection.

“I didn’t give you much choice, I see that now,” Alec admitted.

Magnus cupped Alec’s face and kissed him with infinite gentleness. However, when they drew apart, they were still both out of breath, tears of joy, pain, relief, and regret in their eyes.

“Promise to talk to me next time,” Magnus asked seriously, fighting to get his raging emotions under control.

Alec nodded, a lump in his throat as he replied, “I promise.” He paused before he added, “Will you promise me the same then? To talk to me before jumping to conclusions?”

“I will,” Magnus readily promised.

They leaned forward at the same time, their lips meeting in a kiss filled with passion, longing, and promise. Afterwards Alec snuggled close again, his head resting on Magnus’ chest, enjoying hearing his heartbeat and feeling his warmth. They lay like that for a while, just taking in all this new information, just feeling each other close. Magnus felt his heart overflow with emotions when he noticed that Alec wasn’t just painting nonsense with his finger on his skin but was writing _I love you_ over and over. Magnus tightened his arms around his Nephilim and kissed the top of his head tenderly.

“I was thinking…” Alec said after a while, his voice soft, low, thoughtful.

“Yes?” Magnus encouraged.

Alec lifted his head so he could look at Magnus. He took a deep breath, fighting to get his thoughts formulated correctly.

“If I can send off a fire message to Jace maybe I can get him to talk the Clave into an unconditional surrender,” Alec told him, giving Magnus an evaluating look.

Magnus thought about it, taking it in the serious spirit it was given. With Alec back in his arms and knowing his love was true his hatred for Idris had become more manageable. However, Idris was still guilty. That said then if they surrendered and he could then ensure equality for his people, he had obtained what he wanted.

“Even as a Herondale that would be difficult,” Magnus mused.

“I know but despite the arrogance of the Clave even they must see now that you are winning. You have proven you can take whole Institutes. With all Downworlder magical users united the wards around Idris won’t last long. I can only hope that Jace can talk sense into them,” Alec said gravely.

Magnus didn’t have to think much longer about it. If Alec’s letter to his parabatai could ensure Idris’ unconditional surrender without further bloodshed he was all for it.

“Very well. I am ok with you trying,” Magnus said slowly, nodding. He paused before he elaborated in a grim tone, “I want justice and equality for the Downworld and if Idris needs to burn for that to happen, I am fine with that but if they can change and adapt, I can accept that as well.”

“Thank you!” Alec said, smiling in relief and joy at hearing that. He gave Magnus a joyful kiss that made them both smile even more.

“Providing of course that all the guilty parties are punished as the Downworld chooses and all laws in Idris and in the Institutes are changed to reflect equality. It would be a new era for all,” Magnus warned.

“I have faith in Jace. If nothing else I will explain that him seeing me again is dependent on at least his own surrender and mention the same for Izzy and Max,” Alec decided, thinking out loud.

Magnus thought about it. Jace might not be his favorite person and to be honest he had found him rather selfish around Clary at first, but Jace and Alec were parabatai and there was no denying the bond between them and that they needed each other.

“Yes, that might motivate him,” Magnus agreed, nodding slowly.

Alec nodded back, smiling as he let himself hope he would soon at least be reunited with Jace, Izzy and Max. He still couldn’t quite believe his luck. He had thought he had lost Magnus and with him everything worth living for. And now he was here, in Magnus’ arms again and Magnus loved him once more. Life would be perfect if he could just end the war and find a way to get out of Asmodeus’ deal; Magnus deserved to know the truth and the whole truth about what had happened, including his father’s role in it. Ok, to be fair that was still rather big things he needed done, but Alec was nothing if not determined. 

“I love you,” Alec told Magnus seriously as he once again thought of how lucky he was, getting misty-eyed, his voice breaking with emotions.

Magnus found tears had come to his own eyes as well once more. The wonder of Alec being here, of them being here….after everything that had happened, all the hurt, misunderstandings, and misjudgments…they had arrived here. It was the most amazing thing in his life and he still couldn’t quite grasp that he was loved unconditionally. Finally, after longing for this forever he had found someone to love him unconditionally. He couldn’t change the past and his misunderstandings and misconceptions regarding Alec, nor could Alec change it, but moving forward Magnus swore that it would _never_ happen again. They would have forever to make up for the missing year and the hurt they had caused each other. While Magnus felt that forever wasn’t nearly long enough to love Alec for then it was long enough to learn, grow, forgive, forget, and become wiser.

“I can’t believe I got to have you back,” Magnus replied, smiling tenderly at him.

He was ready to say the words now, to say _I love you_ to Alec again, but he wanted to wait. He had a special event planned for later today. The kiss they shared now spoke of a new beginning, of dreams being fulfilled and bridges being rebuilt. The war, the past…it was all forgotten for this moment of bliss and joy.

After sharing a magically conjured breakfast in bed Magnus had lifted the wards around the loft long enough for Alec to send off the fire message to Jace. Afterwards he had kissed Alec goodbye and told him he had to be gone for a few hours to prepare a special surprise. Alec had looked puzzled at him, unaware what it could be but from Magnus’ wink and loving look he was sure he would love it.

After having showered and dressed Alec went into the living room to look for Andrew and Lorenzo, humming softly to himself, feeling happier today than he had since he had made the deal with Asmodeus. He found them in the kitchen, preparing lunch. He looked at the clock and realized it was indeed lunchtime; Magnus and he had stayed in bed all morning. He smiled happily at the thought.

“Can you get me another tomato, lizard?” Andrew was saying while preparing a salad, giving Lorenzo a kind look.

Lorenzo was sitting on the kitchen counter, looking fascinated at the salad making process. Lorenzo did a handwave and a tomato appeared in his hand.

“There,” Lorenzo said, handing it to him with a hopeful smile, tensing slightly in fear it was wrong somehow.

“Well done,” Andrew praised as he took it.

Lorenzo grinned happily, relaxing.

“You two seem to be bonding nicely,” Alec told them with a warm smile as he came into the kitchen area.

“Alec,” Andrew greeted, giving him a kind look.

“Alec!” Lorenzo cried joyfully, jumping off the kitchen counter and flying into Alec’s arms.

“Hi lizard,” Alec said with a fond smile.

Even when Alec had felt sad Lorenzo’s innocence, forced as it was, had smitten Alec and had never failed to bring a smile to his face just as it did now.

“I like Andrew,” Lorenzo admitted with a shy smile when he and Alec drew apart again.

“Good. I am glad to hear it,” Alec told him as they both walked back over to Andrew.

“I like you too Lizard,” Andrew assured him.

When they reached Andrew, Lorenzo snapped his fingers and suddenly he had ten red roses in his hand wrapped with a nice blue bow.

“For you,” Lorenzo told Andrew with a shy smile, handing them to him.

“That’s so nice. Thank you,” Andrew marveled, taking the flowers, and sniffing them.

“You like them?” Lorenzo asked eagerly.

“I do,” Andrew confirmed with a smile.

“They are very pretty,” Alec agreed.

Lorenzo beamed proudly as he admitted, “I saw it in the movie Andrew and I watched yesterday.”

“Well done,” Alec complimented, seeing this ability to connect the movie with reality as another step towards Lorenzo regaining his humanity.

“Why don’t you go put the flowers over there, on the dining table?” Andrew asked of Lorenzo, handing the flowers back to him while nodding to the dining table.

“Ok,” Lorenzo said enthusiastically, taking the flowers and walking over to the table.

Both Alec and Andrew were watching Lorenzo with fond but sympathetic looks as he started the task he had been given.

“I’m happy though puzzled I admit that you click so well with Lorenzo. After what happened he’s…different in a way no Nephilims are,” Alec admitted as they saw Lorenzo magic up a vase for the roses.

“Just different from the Nephilims you know,” Andrew corrected, turning his eyes to Alec.

“What do you mean?” Alec asked, focusing now on Andrew.

“My sister is a bit like Lorenzo,” Andrew explained after a moment’s hesitation.

Alec had never heard of that. Parents demanded perfection. There was no mercy, no time for what they would perceive as weakness. You had to be a perfect warrior almost from birth.

“Really?” Alec asked shocked.

Andrew nodded.

“Yes. Only the elite get rid of the children they deem unworthy. I always knew of that practice and culture, so when I started working at the Institute, I never told anyone of my sister,” Andrew explained. He paused but when Alec simply nodded encouraging at him, he elaborated, “I come from a poor family in the countryside. There was no honor or glory to our name so we could live and love in peace,” Andrew explained, a bit of fondness and longing in his voice when he spoke of his childhood.

“That sounds nice,” Alec admitted longingly.

A part of Alec was a bit jealous hearing that from Andrew. His own upbringing had been cold, harsh, and cruel and his only light had been Jace and his siblings. He had been forced to perform to such unreasonable standards, making him fail all the time, he even now struggled with self-worth issues and self-harm tendencies. Andrew’s upbringing sounded like Heaven in comparison.

“It was,” Andrew replied with a smile. “We struggled at times to make ends meet, but we loved each other.”

“Your sister too?” Alec couldn’t help but ask.

His whole life Alec had been told how Idris only wanted and needed the best of the best warriors. In such a culture there would be no room for anyone who were unique in their own way.

“Yes,” Andrew said without hesitation. “My parents taught us to fight and defend ourselves, but they were never cruel physically or verbally like for example your parents were or Jace’s father was. They were ambitious but loved us for who we were; flaws and all.”

“That does sound amazing,” Alec said, amazed.

Andrew gave him a sympathetic look and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. However, before he could reply Lorenzo interrupted the moment.

“There!” Lorenzo proclaimed joyfully, looking expectantly over at Alec and Andrew.

Alec and Andrew turned to watch and saw Lorenzo had put the roses into the vase he had magic’d up and placed it on the middle of the table. Everything looked perfect.

“Brilliant,” Andrew said with a soft smile.

“You like it?” Lorenzo asked shyly as he came back over to him.

Andrew nodded, “Very much so.”

Lorenzo gave Andrew a quick impulsive hug which he returned after he got over his initial surprise.

“You are so…” Lorenzo mumbled against Andrew’s neck, his voice filled with emotions and fondness.

“So?” Andrew questioned as he started to pull a bit back.

“Perfecto _[Perfect in Spanish]_ ,” Lorenzo admitted with a fond look, a wide smile playing over his lips when they drew apart.

“Tu tambien _[So are you in Spanish]_ ,” Andrew replied without even missing a beat.

“You speak Spanish now?” Alec asked, surprised.

Andrew nodded but then shrugged and blushed self-consciously as he said defensively, “I stayed up last night and taught myself some basic words and phrases.”

“Gracias _[Thanks in Spanish]_ ,” Lorenzo said heartfelt, fighting tears at having heard his own language again after so long.

As a lizard he had never heard it spoken even once. When he had been a Warlock it hadn’t mattered much to him as the years had passed, but as a lizard having that too taken from him had seemed yet another blow, another loss.

Andrew gave Lorenzo an understanding look and squeezed his shoulder in comfort. Alec observed them together and smiled to himself, happy to see they had found something in each other. They both deserved someone to support them and who genuinely cared for them.

In the afternoon Magnus returned, wearing a beautiful blue outfit with a deep V-line and matching accessories. Alec had been a bit puzzled by the summer attire until Magnus had explained he would portal them somewhere. Alec had been amazed by the thought, aware Magnus was now trusting him not to betray him. However, to be sure Alec couldn’t be traced Magnus cast a spell on him after Alec agreed to it, having decided after seeing Magnus again that his one and only loyalty and priority was Magnus; everything else was just nice icing on the cake.

When Alec walked through the portal Magnus had made for them, they stepped out onto the most beautiful beach imaginable, a five-star hotel with a seaside view with a bar, restaurant, and pool nearby. They walked towards the bar and Alec realized they were alone except a handful of waiters standing ready. A waiter came and took their drinks order and while he was getting them Magnus magic’d Alec into some loose summer pants and a t-shirt as well as sandals. There was a spark in Magnus’ eyes that made Alec excited, knowing something was about to happen. After that they had eaten an amazing dinner on the beach, lit up by candles and fairy lights.

When the meal ended Magnus suggested they took a walk by the beach. It was the perfect time for it; the waves were crashing in, the moon and the stars reflected in the sea. With a fond look Magnus snapped his fingers and it rained with small silvery hearts that started around 2m above the ground and disappeared whenever they hit an object. They were alone on the beach, the only nearby sign of humans the nearby hotel where they had seemed to be the only guests. It was all so romantic, not made less by the fact this was actually their first real walk hand in hand, and then in public. Alec beamed happily at the thought, looking around as they walked. 

“This place is amazing. Magical. I can’t believe it’s a real Mundane place,” Alec marveled.

Alec enjoyed how the warm sand touched his sandaled feet as he walked. He had never been to a place like this before, been so relaxed and happy before. He was sure Heaven had to look and feel like this.

Magnus squeezed his hand tighter. Even though he had been here before going anywhere with Alec, who had never been anywhere at all, was like seeing it all again for the first time.

“It’s the Caribbean, darling, and I rented the whole island and staff,” Magnus admitted with a fond look.

“It’s amazing,” Alec told him as he reached out his free hand and watched memorized as one of the falling silver stars touched his hand and dissolved.

“There’s some magic involved too,” Magnus admitted, winking at him.

“I love it all,” Alec assured him.

They walked a bit further until Magnus felt the light from the stars and the background lights from the hotel was simply perfect, making the water shimmer and the silver stars made the night air seem to sparkle like diamonds.

“Alexander,” Magnus started to say, stopping, and turning to look at Alec.

“Yes?” Alec asked, giving him a puzzled look, a hint of worry on his face.

Magnus had to sink, suddenly feeling nervous. He had had Alec, then lost him, then regained him but only partly and this morning he had gotten everything he had ever hoped for. It was a dream coming true and he was worried that breathing wrong would someone break this spell he was surely under.

“I was thinking the other night that I don’t want to waste anymore time. I don’t want any more misunderstandings between us,” Magnus said slowly, speaking only after carefully thinking about his words, still holding on to Alec’s hand.

Alec gave him a relieved smile.

“Me either,” Alec said warmly, his eyes aglow with affection and love.

Magnus couldn’t help but smile back. He cleared his throat and moved so he was in front of Alec, still holding his hand. It was now or never.

“Alexander, I know there has been hurt and mistrust and misunderstandings between us in the past…” Magnus started seriously, his eyes intense on Alec.

Alec fiddled uncomfortably, nervously.

“I’m sorry. I…” Alec interrupted remorsefully.

Magnus shook his head as he quickly added, “Please, let me finish, darling.”

“Ok,” Alec said, falling silent.

He was confused as to where Magnus was going with this, but as he had proven lately over and over again then he would do anything for the man he loved.

Magnus took a deep breath, finding the courage to say what he truly wanted, knowing, finally, that Alec would never betray him.

“I want you to be mine forever. I want you to share in my immortality,” Magnus told him gravely, looking anxiously for his reaction.

Immortality was big step and while Magnus had now become convinced Alec did indeed love him then he also knew Nephilim considered immortality ungodly.

“Truly?” Alec asked stunned, unsure he had heard him right.

He had dreamed of this; forever with Magnus. That was all he had ever wanted. Live together equally, either as mortals or immortals.

“Truly,” Magnus assured him, smiling fondly at the joy he could read in Alec’s eyes. He quickly added, “And do not worry; I am not talking about becoming a vampire or something like that. The immortality will be a result of me sharing my own. As a consequence, Jace, as your parabatai who owns half of your soul, will become immortal as our souls will intertwine, including the part of your soul inside Jace. In that way your soul will be immortal through me.”

Alec was speechless for a moment. This was like one of his greatest dreams and it was coming true. Then his mind got back into gear.

“But you hate Jace!” Alec said shocked, saying the first thing that came to mind.

Magnus gave him a warm look as he assured him, “Not so much any longer and never more than I want you to be mine.”

“You would genuinely want that? Me? Forever?” Alec asked carefully, finding it hard to believe, his emotions making tears appear in the corner of his eyes.

Magnus cupped his cheek with his free hand, bending towards his lips.

When they were breaths apart and Alec had closed his eyes in anticipation Magnus whispered hoarsely, “Yes. Always.”

The kiss was explosive yet loving and lasted forever and yet only a second. When Magnus drew back he smiled when he saw Alec had to fight to reopen his eyes, having closed them to enjoy the kiss to its fullest.

After a few seconds, his brain caught up with him and Alec said solemnly, “I would have to talk to Jace, but I am sure he would say yes as I know Clary and he talked about immortality after Simon became a vampire.”

Magnus didn’t mention he wasn’t going to let Jace say no; one way or another he would see it happen.

Instead, Magnus simply nodded as he said emotionally, “As long as you will be by my side.”

Alec smiled at hearing that, overwhelmed by the affection in Magnus’ eyes.

“I will and offering me this… That’s…I don’t know what to say,” Alec got out, overwhelmed, sounding out of breath as he smiled through the tears that was falling now.

It was all almost too much; his dream coming through in one day after getting Magnus back. He was almost afraid to breathe, afraid it would break the spell.

“Say you will be mine,” Magnus asked, his voice filled with barely controlled emotions as he stroked his cheek.

Alec leaned into the touch, smiling softly as he replied in a tone filled with tenderness, “Yes. I am yours. Always.”

Magnus couldn’t help but wrap him up in a warm embrace in joy and excitement. Alec put his arms around Magnus’ waist as Magnus pulled him close with one arm around Alec’s back and a hand to the back of his neck. The kiss was mind-blowing. Magnus’ emotions made him lose control of his magic and without either of them noticing fireworks were suddenly exploding all over the island, in particularly just overhead where they were standing.

When they drew apart for breath Magnus knew he had made the right choice. With Alec lay his happiness and all his dreams. The past was behind them. It was time for a new future. Magnus pulled himself together, cleared his throat and with a handwave he magic’d up a white gold ring. It had the Nephilim and Warlock symbols connected by an eternity symbol and inscribed on the inside with their initials and the date today. With Alec giving him a puzzled look that turned to shock and then awe Magnus bent one knee. He took hold of Alec’s right hand and looked directly at him. Alec fought to breathe, his joy and wonder clear on his face. 

“Alexander, will you marry me?” Magnus asked, his voice catching from the emotions he was feeling.

Alec laughed and cried at the same time as he got out, “Yes! So much yes!”

Magnus smiled in relief and joy and put the ring on Alec’s finger. He had barely completed the motion before Alec was on his knees next to him, cupping his face with both hands and kissing him passionately.

“You mean it? You don’t need time to reflect?” Magnus asked when they drew apart for breath.

“No,” Alec said at once.

Magnus beamed joyfully and helped Alec get to his feet as he rose. They shared a loving kiss but when they drew apart Alec noticed the slight puzzlement hiding beneath Magnus’ joy at how quickly he had been able to say yes to both Magnus’ marriage proposal and offer of immortality.

“That last night we had together before…” Alec started to explain but then hesitated. He winced in remembered pain as he went on, “Before I betrayed you, I was going to propose. I have already thought of how we could truly be together, and it was either immortality for me or you as a mortal. That night I saw that the second option wasn’t possible. So, I have known for a long time that if we truly wanted to be together and I wasn’t just to become another memorial in a box, it would have to involve me becoming immortal somehow.”

Magnus was amazed by Alec’s insight and maturity that had come into being in the past year. However, he was stuck on a very important detail. Alec had wanted to propose?!

“I ruined your proposal!” Magnus realized in horror. He paused before he added remorsefully, “I’m so sorry, darling.”

“You didn’t mean to. You were hurting,” Alec insisted, shaking his head to end the discussion despite the remembered hurt of that night coming through in his voice.

Magnus was unaware he was crying, overwhelmed by Alec’s easy forgiveness and love. How could he ever have doubted him? He had let his past cloud his judgement. Camille’s betrayal, the betrayal of countless other Nephilims…but Alec had never meant to hurt him and yet he had treated him so cruelly because others had.

Magnus had to fight to speak through the lump in his throat. He stroked Alec’s cheek, smiling softly at him.

“I know you mean it when you say I love you so know I mean it when I say it back. I love you,” Magnus told him quietly, seriously.

For a moment Alec looked frozen, completely shocked. Then he slowly started to smile, finding he was crying again. Magnus had said he loved him. He had dreamed of hearing Magnus say those words to him ever since the breakup but had known it would never happen. To hear it now, here…it was so much joy at the same time…it was astounding.

Alec reached out a hand, surprised to see it was shaking. Magnus caught it and kissed his palm tenderly.

“I….I love you too. So much!” Alec got out, barely able to speak from the emotions he was feeling.

“We will build a new future together. I swear,” Magnus said with equal emotion.

Magnus released Alec’s palm and Alec stroked Magnus’ cheek, his hand still trembling slightly from his raging emotions.

“Hearing you say those words again…” Alec whispered quietly, his voice thick with unspoken feelings.

“I love you?” Magnus repeated tenderly, putting his hand over Alec’s on his cheek as he leaned into the touch.

Alec nodded as he admitted quietly, finding it hard to speak, “Yes. I thought I would never….I thought…”

Suddenly it was all too much. Too many emotions, too many dreams…just too much. He felt tears fall again and his legs started to give out, unable to keep carrying him. However, before Alec could fall Magnus was there in a heartbeat, wrapping him up in a warm and loving embrace.

“Shh, darling. I am here. I won’t ever leave you,” Magnus swore emotionally, holding him close and kissing his temple tenderly.

Alec snuggled close, hiding his face by Magnus’ shoulder. He sobbed in relief, making the material of Magnus’ shirt wet. After a few moments, encouraged by Magnus’ warm voice and soothing strokes on his back, Alec lifted his head and smiled at him, looking a bit sheepish at his emotional display.

“I wanted to give you the Lightwood ring,” Alec admitted.

Magnus smiled calmingly as he assured him, “I would be honored.”

“I don’t have it here with me to give it to you now,” Alec admitted regretfully. “But back before…you know. I wanted it to be yours.”

“Before you left me,” Magnus summarized.

Alec nodded, “Yes. I still want it to be yours if I get it back from my mother again.”

“The dinner that night…the lights and flowers…You really made an effort,” Magnus realized, feeling sad again he had ruined it.

Seeing Magnus so sad, so broken that evening had been the worst thing Alec had ever seen. In hindsight thinking he could cure such deep pain in Magnus with a proposal had been naïve and belittling of the pain Magnus had been in.

“I tried,” Alec said modesty, an edge of remembered pain in his voice.

“What I remember from that night then it did look amazing,” Magnus got out, unsure what to say.

He remembered that night, how depressed he had been without his magic, how rootless and lost.

“So that was why you left me the day after. Seeing me drunk, depressed and broken changed your mind,” Magnus realized, not really blaming Alec for that. He had been a mess.

Alec shook his head viciously in denial as he said firmly, “Never!”

“Then what?” Magnus asked puzzled.

Alec hesitated, knowing the spell meant his answer had to be truthful but he couldn’t say anything about the deal with Asmodeus or Magnus would lose his magic and return to being that lost, depressed and broken person. He would do anything and everything to prevent that. Magnus’ happiness was worth everything.

“I wanted you happy as I said, and I thought that was the way,” Alec said truthfully.

Magnus gave him a puzzled look, unsure why in the world Alec would have fought that.

“It wasn’t.”

Alec nodded slowly and gave him a sympathetic and regretful look as he replied, “I know that now. I’m sorry.”

A part of him wanted to ask more about it; it just didn’t add up, but Magnus didn’t want this otherwise perfect day ruined.

“Let’s not think about that now. Let’s celebrate,” Magnus decided, smiling widely at him.

Alec smiled in relief at being off the hook, eager to just enjoy this moment. He admired his ring on his finger for a moment before looking at Magnus.

“What did you have in mind?” Alec asked with a suggestive smile.

Magnus grinned and winked at him as he nodded to a small but luxurious private condo further up along the beach.

“Well, I did rent us that lovely condo up there,” Magnus said with a sexy grin.

“Let’s go,” Alec replied as he quickly and eagerly started to walk towards it, making Magnus laugh fondly at him.

They almost ran to the condo, Magnus quickly giving up the pretense that he wasn’t just as eager to feel Alec’s body close to his. The island was all theirs and so was the condo, so they carelessly got rid of their clothes on the way to the bedroom while kissing. It took some attempts and a few laughs but by the time they reached the bathroom they were both naked. They made it to the end of the bed and Magnus playfully pushed Alec down on it. He grinned up at Magnus as he crawled further up onto the bed and looked at the Warlock with eyes heavy with desire, his erection making no doubt how excited he was.

“You look so amazing like this, all laid out for me like an offering to a God,” Magnus admitted in a voice filled with lust and passion, his mouth watering at seeing Alec on the bed like that.

Having Alec naked and inviting, all for him, had Magnus’ erection grow.

“You are my God, my everything,” Alec told him eagerly when Magnus got on the bed and sat between his legs.

Magnus couldn’t help but moan in pleasure at hearing that. He started to kiss and lick his way up Alec’s body, carefully avoiding his cock but paying special attention to his nipples. He enjoyed Alec’s whimpers of pleasure and the way his fingers were leaving marks along his back. He sucked a hickey onto Alec’s neck and then another, determined to mask the deflect rune with his own marking. Alec made a small, disappointed noise when Magnus lifted his head from Alec’s neck to look at him, making Alec look back, his eyes darkened by desire.

“I made my Nephilim blasphemous. Should I be honored?” Magnus teased.

“For you I would gladly be anything,” Alec said without missing a beat.

Magnus’ cat eyes appeared in pleasure and he claimed Alec’s lips in a bruising kiss, enjoying Alec’s hand that had gone to his neck as Alec tried to stick his tongue as far down his throat as he could go. The kiss was sloppy and passionate, and they were both breathless when they finally broke apart.

“Then let me first worship _you_ ,” Magnus said in a heated voice.

Magnus held Alec’s gaze as he moved slowly back down Alec’s body, kissing, and licking as he went. Their eyes met and held, Alec’s hands having gone to Magnus’ shoulders, as Magnus slowly started to put his lips to Alec’s cock, starting by first blowing a bit on the sensitive tip before licking and finally starting to suck.

“Oh!” Alec got out when Magnus’ lips touched his skin.

Alec moved his hands to Magnus’ hair but quickly, as Magnus started to show just what hundreds of years of life and thousands of lovers meant in terms of lovemaking, Alec couldn’t control himself much longer. He instead fisted the sheets, fighting not to thrust up into Magnus’ mouth to get more of his amazingly wicked tongue.

“So good for me,” Magnus praised between taking Alec all the way down his throat.

Alec was amazed and turned up by how together Magnus sounded, like it was no effort for him at all. Damn, he had won the lottery in all ways when he had met Magnus!

“Fuck, yes!” Alec yelled when Magnus took him all the way in once more.

“You taste so good, Alexander,” Magnus told him when he drew back for a second, giving Alec a heated look, his own erection heavy between his legs.

The praise made Alec’s desire skyrocket. He had always been insecure after the way he had been raised and being told what to do and rewarded when he did well meant a lot to him; it made him feel safe enough to let go and genuinely enjoy the moment.

Before Alec could reply Magnus took him back in, going as deep as he could.

“Magnus, please,” Alec begged almost desperately, feeling himself leaking precome.

Magnus moved up and down on Alec’s cock a few more times, drawing more needy sounds of pleasure from the Nephilim.

“Please what?” Magnus teased.

“I can’t last. It’s _so_ good. I’m gonna…” Alec warned, feeling himself on the edge.

“Don’t hold back. Show me how much you enjoy it,” Magnus ordered before taking him back in.

It was the tenderness mixed in with the power, care and control that did Alec in. Magnus had not sounded this tender during sex since before the breakup. Alec had always loved this element of Magnus; the loving way he knew just how to care for him, to make him feel good.

“Fuck!” Alec yelled as he came explosively down Magnus’ throat, moaning when he saw Magnus eagerly swallow it all.

Alec smiled almost drunkenly, high on endorphins, when Magnus pulled off his cock and looked up at him, smiling as he licked his lips, the gesture so sexy Alec would have gotten hard again if he could.

“You are so pretty when you come, darling,” Magnus told him in a lustful voice.

“I love you,” Alec said lazily, still feeling floaty from his orgasm.

“So perfect for me,” Magnus insisted as he started to slowly kiss his way up Alec’s body until he reached his lips, claiming them in a hard and possessive kiss.

They kissed lazily for a while, on the lips, on each other’s necks and chests. After a few moments Alec had recovered from his orgasm and gave Magnus a sexy wink.

“Let me make _you_ feel good then,” Alec said as he started to move down Magnus’ body.

Magnus watched with hooded eyes, his Warlock Mark still on display and shining brighter than ever when Alec started to kiss, lick, and fondle his cock and balls. After teasing him for a few minutes Alec finally put his lips on Magnus’ cock, making them both moan in pleasure. Magnus loved that Alec enjoyed giving him blowjobs so much; it was a huge turn-on.

Alec started to move up and down on Magnus’ cock and Magnus moved his hands to Alec’s hair, fighting the urge to thrust up into Alec’s warm and eager mouth.

“Yes,” Magnus mumbled encouraging, his hands in Alec’s hair more of a guide than a command.

Magnus felt himself leak precome when Alec started to fuck himself on his cock, going almost impossibly deep. He moaned louder and louder, enjoying the moment to the fullest.

“I love I can make you feel like this,” Alec admitted, his voice sounding wrecked and used, when he pulled off for breath for a moment.

“I do love your hot mouth, darling,” Magnus moaned, closing his eyes in pleasure when Alec happily went back to taking Magnus as deep as he could.

Alec continued to milk Magnus’ cock for all it was worth. Just when Magnus was close, he pulled off, giving Magnus a teasing look when he saw the frustration at having his pleasure cut off in the Warlock’s eyes.

“I want to ride you,” Alec said heated.

Before Magnus had replied Alec had pulled a bit back, ready to do just that. Magnus nodded eagerly at the thought, having wanted to be inside his Nephilim all day.

“Go on,” Magnus said in a voice dark with desire, holding his cock up with one hand as he with a snap of his fingers lubed his cock.

Alec quickly got into position above Magnus’ cock and with another snap of his fingers Magnus ensured Alec was properly prepared, making Alec do a surprised noise at the feeling even though they had done this many times before.

“Fuck,” Alec groaned as he slowly started to sink down onto the Warlock’s sizeable cock.

Magnus put his hands on Alec’s hips to help steady him. He moaned loudly when Alec was all the way down.

“You’re always so tight and warm around my cock,” Magnus got out, moaning when Alec started to lift slowly up and then sink back down again.

“You’ll make me hard again,” Alec whined lustfully as he started moving faster and faster up and down, getting lost in the feeling of being connected to Magnus in this way.

Magnus kept his hands on Alec’s hips, helping him move up and down with the speed he wanted. Alec’s cock quickly reawakened, Nephilim stamina coming to good use.

“Go on. Take what you need, darling,” Magnus moaned, lifting his hips to meet each of Alec’s movements.

“Yes!” Alec cried when Magnus hit his prostate.

Having found the right spot Magnus angled himself to ensure each of his thrusts hit that spot over and over again, sending waves of pleasure through Alec.

“Ah,” Magnus mumbled as he got closer and closer to the edge.

“More!” Alec demanded, using his hands on Magnus’ chest for better leverage.

Magnus started to trust harder and deeper into Alec, his hands on Alec’s hips hard enough to leave marks.

“So good,” Magnus got out, his pleasure increasing by seeing Alec’s desire and hear his moans of pleasure.

“Faster! I need to feel you!” Alec demanded, lost in his own pleasure, chasing his release.

Alec lifted himself up and down again faster and faster, going almost all the way off and then all the way back down again on each thrust.

“Fuck!” Magnus screamed, fucking even harder and deeper into Alec, feeling they were both getting close.

“I want to come untouched just from you being inside me,” Alec said lustfully as he lifted himself up only to slam back down again.

“By Edom!” Magnus moaned at the picture Alec’s words were painting in his mind, ensuring he was hitting Alec’s prostate full on during each of his thrusts.

“Fuck me harder!” Alec commanded or pleaded, it was hard to tell, eagerly fucking himself on Magnus’ cock.

Sweaty and so close he could almost taste it Magnus brought it up a notch more, moaning at the speed and force with which he slammed into Alec’s tight heat.

“Damn!”

“So close. Just…” Alec got out, leaving precome, feeling himself right on the edge.

“Yes!” Magnus cried as he thrust one last time deep into Alec, spilling his seed inside his lover.

Feeling Magnus’ orgasm and how he painted him as his from the inside out, pushed Alec over the edge.

“Fuck!” Alec screamed as he came almost painfully hard, exploding all over their stomachs.

His second orgasm was so powerful Alec felt himself blank out for a moment. He fearlessly let himself go and let the darkness embrace him, knowing Magnus would take care of him.

When Alec came to again, he was laying with his head on Magnus’ chest. Magnus had magically cleaned them up as well as the bed. A thin blanket was covering them in the mild night air coming in from an opened window in the bedroom.

“You back with me, darling?” Magnus asked, smiling warmly at him as he stroked some hair from Alec’s still sweaty brow.

Even after knowing Magnus had become at ease with his Warlock Mark, with himself and who he was, Alec was still happy to wake up to seeing Magnus’ cat eyes, happy he these days so rarely felt a need to hide them.

Alec nodded, still feeling floaty and his brain wouldn’t quite work properly so all he managed to say was, “Hmm.”

“You’re so cute when you are out of it,” Magnus teased fondly.

His words made Alec attempt to give him an angry stare which didn’t work as he was feeling way too relaxed and comfortable.

Magnus snapped his fingers and a juice box with a straw in it appeared in the hand he wasn’t holding around Alec with.

“Here, drink this,” Magnus said tenderly, putting the straw to Alec’s lips.

Alec obeyed eagerly, finding he was indeed thirsty.

“Thank you,” Alec said with a warm smile after finishing it all.

With a handwave Magnus magic’d the empty juice box away. They share a tender look filled with softness before Magnus pulled him even closer.

“Come here, darling,” Magnus said softly, the words unnecessary as Alec was already snuggling against his shoulder.

Alec sighed happily at smelling his skin, the unique smell and feeling of being close to Magnus. Unable to resist Alec planting a chaste kiss to Magnus’ throat.

Alec lifted his head to look at Magnus, for a moment just looking, drinking it all in and marveling at them having found their way back to this, back to happiness, after all the hurt, pain, and misunderstandings between them.

“I can’t believe I got you back. I love you so much,” Alec said emotionally.

“I love you too. Always,” Magnus replied softly, tightening his arms around Alec.

“I’m so sorry I…” Alec started to see, his eyes filling with pain and regret.

Magnus shook his head and put a finger to Alec’s lips, silencing him at once.

“No. None of that, darling. We both did things in the past that were regretful and hurtful. Soon you will be my husband for eternity. A fresh start,” Magnus told him in a strong voice filled with affection and determination.

“Fresh start,” Alec repeated with a smile, nodding in agreement.

“It will be perfect,” Magnus assured him in an almost dreamy voice.

Alec laid his head back down on Magnus’ chest, recognizing the Magnus he had known before the breakup in that dreamy and longing notion, determined to make it true for Magnus, for both of them.

“It will be,” Alec promised as he laid an arm over Magnus’ chest and listened to his steady heartbeat, feeling himself be slowly lulled to sleep by it.

However, despite the joy of this moment in the back of Alec’s mind he thought of Idris, the war and most of all of Asmodeus. He was still a problem…However, he could wait. For now, Alec wanted to enjoy this moment.

“I love you,” Alec mumbled sleepily as he snuggled even closer, feeling his eyelids grow heavy.

“I love you too,” Magnus replied happily, enjoying feeling Alec’s weight and his warmth back in his arms.

Today had been a perfect day and Magnus was determined to make all their days together magical and amazing. It was a new beginning for them and soon it would be a new beginning for the Shadow World too; one way or another.

The next day Magnus received a fire message early in the morning calling him to the front lines. Magnus magic’d them both into suitable outfits before he quickly made a portal to the entrance of the loft. After sharing a loving, yet passionate kiss Alec had walked through. For a moment he had simply stared at the closed portal with a smile on his face, touching the ring on his finger. Then he pulled himself together and went in search of Andrew and Lorenzo.

Alec found them in the living room. Andrew was sitting with crossed legs, a book in one hand, Lorenzo curled up against him like a cat, his face on Andrew’s thigh, seemingly reading the book along with him. Alec was pleased to see that, hoping Lorenzo was indeed reading it himself as it would be another sign of recovery. However, as Alec got closer, he saw that Andrew was staring straight ahead, tears in the corners of his eyes and a pained look on his face as he absentminded petted Lorenzo’s head and whispered soft and calming words to him, keeping the Warlock calm and content.

“You ok, Andrew?” Alec asked softly, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Andrew quickly wiped his tears away and nodded as he looked up at him.

“I am still getting used to it,” Andrew admitted, sounding embarrassed at Alec having caught him in a moment of weakness.

Alec nodded, giving him a sympathetic look. It was hard, being a warrior your whole life and now being…this, whatever this was. Maybe even worse for Andrew who didn’t have any emotional connection to Magnus. So far, he had kept clear of the Warlock and spent his time with Lorenzo and Alec when Magnus was away. Despite having gotten his own room Andrew had spent the passing night in Lorenzo’s room when he had heard the Warlock awaken screaming from a nightmare. They had simply slept in the same bed together, Andrew holding Lorenzo’s right hand for comfort all throughout the night.

“Loren…” Alec started to say but then stopped himself, knowing the name, the reminder of the Warlock he had once been pained Lorenzo. However, he still even now had a hard time calling the man lizard and avoided it if he could. Since he was talking to Andrew and not Lorenzo, he rephased, “He has grown fond of you.”

Lorenzo raised his head as he heard them talk. He smiled fondly at them both and snuggled closer to Andrew, making the Nephilim smile back and stroke his hair once more.

“Lizard love,” Lorenzo declared happily, almost purring, sounding a bit sleepy.

Lorenzo’s Warlock Mark, scales, appearing all over his body, visible on his neck, hands, and upper arms where his shirt wasn’t covering him in response to his emotions.

Alec had seen Lorenzo’s Warlock Mark a few times so he wasn’t surprised, knowing Lorenzo would sometimes lose control of his glamour when he had high emotions. From Andrew’s calm reaction Alec guessed Andrew had already seen it, not knowing he had indeed seen Lorenzo’s Warlock Mark that previous night when Lorenzo had awakened from his night terror.

“Yes. Me too of him,” Andrew replied softly.

Maybe it was just because they were together all the time since Andrew had arrived here, maybe they just both needed someone to care for, to not be alone, but Andrew had quickly come to care for Lorenzo. It wasn’t sexual in any way; Lorenzo wasn’t healed enough for that to even be a consideration for either of them. But it was tender and soft and they both needed that at the moment. 

“His mind is still fragmented but he seems comfortable with you,” Alec remarked, smiling when Lorenzo almost seemed to prove his point by snuggling even closer to Andrew.

Andrew nodded, smiling softly but a bit sadly at Lorenzo. His care for the Warlock was edged with grief, loss, and despair as he started to fear Lorenzo might never recover from what had happened to him. Sometimes Andrew was filled with hope Lorenzo would recover fully and in other moments he feared the Warlock would forever have the mind of a child. It was devastating beyond words to care for someone whom you felt so helpless to truly help.

“How are you, Alec? You seem different…glowing almost,” Andrew asked a bit confused, giving Alec a closer look, wanting to focus on something else than Lorenzo’s slow-moving progress towards reclaiming his humanity.

“Today I am amazing,” Alec assured him, smiling a real and full smile for the first time in ages as far as Andrew was concerned.

After the breakup with Magnus Alec’s smiles had always been sad. Even his good days had had an edge of darkness, of sorrow. His joy now was contagious and a wonder to see for Andrew.

“Something happened,” Andrew concluded, giving Alec a searching look.

“Magnus proposed to me and offered me immortality,” Alec told him, showing him the ring on his finger with pride and joy.

Andrew looked at the ring in shock, his eyes going between the ring and the jubilant expression on Alec’s face. He frowned, confused.

“Did you say yes?” Andrew asked carefully.

Alec nodded before he replied without hesitation, “Of course. I love him.”

“But…for eternity?!” Andrew gasped in shock.

Andrew was unsure if he would do it if offered. Maybe…for the right person but still...it was a huge commitment that he would undertake only after careful consideration.

Alec looked at him as he said in a strong tone without even a hint of uncertainty, “Yes. I am not in doubt I love him for eternity.”

“Despite everything?” Andrew asked with disbelief.

Alec nodded as he confirmed, “Yes.”

Andrew was silent for a moment, reflecting on what Alec had said. Nephilim loved once, fiercely. It would make sense that would make an immortal love possible. Maybe the angels had always thought of that when they had created the Nephilim race….it was certainly an interesting idea.

“I’m not sure how I would feel about an immortal love. It sounds amazing and yet a bit frightening at the same time,” Andrew admitted softly.

Lorenzo looked worried at Andrew, concerned by his tone. Andrew gave him a reassuring smile and squeezed his hand tenderly.

“You may one day get such a love yourself,” Alec told him insightfully.

“What do you mean?” Andrew asked puzzled.

“You and Lorenzo,” Alec told him, looking from one to the other. “You two clearly care for each other. Who knows what the future might bring?”

Andrew was thoughtful for a moment, seeing the soft smile on Lorenzo’s lips, smiling back at him.

“Yes. Who knows?” Andrew agreed with an affectionate look at the Warlock.

Andrew and Alec were both silent for a few moments, contemplating. As Andrew struggled with Lorenzo’s fractured mind and his fear regarding his recovery, Alec struggled with the secret he still carried. Both Nephilim realized that the whole _Nephilim love once, fiercely_ , came with much joy and happiness, but also much sorrow and pain. However, both were determined to overcome and do whatever was necessary to reach their happy ending. 

_The end of part 7_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this was meant to be a dark story but what can I say? These boys just love each other way too much. So we went into fluff territory a bit (well, as fluffy as I ever get). Hope that wasn't too disappointing.  
> Please leave a kudos and comment if you are enjoying the story. It will be very motivating and mean a lot to me. Thank you.


	8. It Must Be Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus finally learns the truth about Asmodeus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to my amazing beta readers as always.  
> Chapter warnings: Technically patricide but not really. Alec gets hurt but only briefly and is then healed. Fluff and more insights from our boys.

_Please read chapter notes for detailed chapter warnings_

# Chapter 8: It Must Be Love

A few days later Jace sent a fire message back to Alec. He was overjoyed to hear Alec was safe and swore Izzy, Max and he would surrender if it meant being reunited with Alec. Meanwhile Jace was working on talking to the Clave regarding a complete and unconditional surrender for Idris, but it was slow-going.

Over the next two weeks Magnus defeated several more Institutions with the help of Andrew and Alec who Magnus would send ahead to bring down wards or otherwise enter areas that demon-blooded couldn’t. Magnus had at first been worried about sending Alec. Not that he didn’t trust him, but he didn’t want him to feel he was facing a hard choice. However, Alec had without hesitation told Magnus that there were no hard decisions when it came to him any longer. Magnus was his future husband and the future ruler of the Shadow World as far as he was concerned. His loyalty and his priority were clear. Knowing that, Andrew easily followed Alec’s lead, having always had more loyalty to his commander than to the Clave itself.

With more Institutions surrendering, Magnus and his army were truly driving the point home towards the Clave that they were losing ground. Now Magnus started his siege on Idris, expecting the demon towers to be a challenge but nothing lasted forever. They would eventually fall; it was just a matter of time.

Magnus had sent a message to his father that he had great news for him. As Asmodeus had played a key role in Magnus getting Alec back into his life he wanted him to be among the first to know of their decision to not only marry but for Alec to share his immortality. Alec’s expression had darkened when Magnus had spoken of his father, and in particular when Magnus had mentioned that he felt he owed Asmodeus something for all he had done for him after the breakup. When Magnus had asked him about it, Alec had readily admitted he didn’t trust Asmodeus but hadn’t said anything further. Magnus had agreed that his father couldn’t be trusted but he had been a huge help to him since the breakup, so Magnus was adamant that Asmodeus should be told of their decision.

Alec and Magnus had decided to wait with the wedding till after the war as Alec wanted his siblings and Jace there as well as all their friends. Magnus was expecting victory soon; either by Idris falling or Jace finally getting the Clave to see reason. One way or another time was running out so waiting till then with the wedding was no hardship. Magnus had after all waited centuries to find true love, _unconditional_ love. He could wait a little longer.

Magnus and Alec had been sharing a glass of wine late one evening after dinner out on the balcony, the weather mild enough to make it cozy to sit out there and talk. Magnus had magic’d fairy lights all around them, giving a romantic feel to it all. Meanwhile Lorenzo and Andrew had gone to Lorenzo’s room where Lorenzo had been proud to discover he could be the teacher when it came to teaching Andrew Spanish and explaining about his birth country’s culture and customs.

Magnus had just been entertaining Alec with an amusing tale of past misdeeds with Cat and Ragnor when a portal formed before them on the balcony. They both instinctively tensed and rose, putting their wine glasses back on the table. Magnus moved a bit in front of Alec, his right hand raised and ready to call forth his magic if needed. When Asmodeus exited the portal and it closed behind him Magnus relaxed, giving him a small smile. Alec, however, remained tense and grim. Asmodeus looked surprised at the change in body language between Alec and Magnus but clearly dismissed it as unimportant.

“Father, you are here,” Magnus said as he allowed himself to be hugged, unaware that Asmodeus and Alec were exchanging death glares behind his back.

“However, I did summon you two weeks ago,” Magnus reminded Asmodeus when they drew apart, letting only a hint of annoyance slip through.

Magnus had been a bit hurt that his father hadn’t responded sooner but he would never admit to that. He shouldn’t be hurt by that but after the breakup Asmodeus had truly seemed to care for him, which sometimes made it hard for Magnus to remind himself that no matter what then his father could not be trusted.

“Well, I was busy,” Asmodeus said with a shrug and a charming smile. “So, why did you ask me here?” he added curiously.

“I wanted to share some great news with you,” Magnus said with a smile, nodding towards Alec, a fond look in his eyes.

“Oh? Idris has fallen?” Asmodeus asked eagerly, nodding approvingly in anticipation.

“Not yet but it will soon. But that was not what I wanted to discuss,” Magnus replied and did a dismissive handwave to indicate it was no concern.

“Then what?” Asmodeus asked confused.

Magnus smiled tenderly at Alec, making him smile back, love shining in his eyes. Magnus took a firm grip on Alec’s right hand, squeezing it. He then turned his attention back to Asmodeus.

“I wanted to tell you that I have asked Alexander to marry me and share my immortality and he has agreed,” Magnus revealed, pride and joy at this fact clear in his tone and expression.

“What?! Why?” Asmodeus asked, stunned, giving Alec an angry look. This had not been the plan at all when he had gifted Magnus the Nephilim!

Asmodeus’ words made the pain Magnus felt at his reaction brief. His lack of understanding, lack of joy on his behalf, reminded Magnus clearer than anything else that while Asmodeus was his father he was also a Fallen Angel to whom concepts of love and unity were foreign.

“Why?” Magnus repeated, shaking his head at him. “Because I want him with me always.”

“Sharing your immortality will lessen your powers,” Asmodeus reminded him, a warning clear in his tone, giving Magnus a look as if he thought he had gone mad….which he likely did.

“I will be more than powerful enough for what I need to do,” Magnus insisted in a strong voice.

“I gave him to you as a _gift_ ; not as a _husband_!” Asmodeus protested furiously.

Magnus’ expression darkened and closed as he said coldly, strongly, making it clear this was not up for debate, “That may be, but I want him as such.”

“Don’t be so soft and sentimental!” Asmodeus scowled. He waved towards Alec who was looking back at him defiantly as he reminded him, “He is your gift to use as you see fit. Why ruin that?”

Magnus sighed in annoyance and frustration, telling himself Asmodeus was just incapable of understanding this and he should never had even brought it up. He locked eyes with Alec for a moment, seeing his strength and love there, fueling his own.

“Father, this is **not** a discussion. I am telling you my decision,” Magnus said darkly, a clear warning in his voice now.

“This is your doing!” Asmodeus accused hotly, his cat eyes flashing dangerously at Alec. “You have made him _weak_!”

“Magnus was never weak,” Alec said firmly, his gaze unmoving and strong.

Magnus gave Asmodeus a warning look, standing up straighter, his cat eyes flashing in anger.

“Alexander has made me strong,” Magnus insisted, his voice unwavering and sure.

“ **I** made you strong. **Me**! **I** did!” Asmodeus protested frantically.

Magnus took a deep breath, fighting to calm down.

“I appreciate what you did for me after I lost Alexander, I do, but I am not that Warlock any longer. I have grown and I am stronger now as you wanted me to be,” Magnus reminded him grimly. He paused before he added firmly, “I won’t be moved on this issue.”

“You are sacrificing everything for what? A Nephilim?!” Asmodeus asked angrily, nodding towards Alec again.

Magnus’ eyes narrowed in annoyance, proud to see that Asmodeus’ words made Alec move a bit closer to him and squeeze his hand in comfort.

“No. For _love_ ,” Magnus said honestly, casting Alec a soft look, making the Nephilim smile affectionately at him in return.

“Don’t be ridiculous! There’s no such thing,” Asmodeus protested, giving Magnus a contemptuous look.

Magnus gave Asmodeus a dark look, saying what he had been dreaming of saying for as long as he could remember with pride, “There is love in my life.”

“No one gives up power for something as silly as love,” Asmodeus protested condescendingly.

“I do and so did Alexander,” Magnus said passionately.

“Him I get. Sacrifice is in his nature,” Asmodeus snorted darkly as he gave Alec a superior smirk.

Alec met Asmodeus’ gaze and pure rage and fury burned in his eyes for a moment. It was a brief second but long enough for Magnus to notice and wonder what the strong reaction meant.

“And why would you know about Alexander or his nature?” Magnus asked pointedly, suspiciously.

“What?” Asmodeus asked, taken back by the question, looking at Magnus now.

“Why would you think Alexander would know about sacrifice?” Magnus clarified.

Asmodeus mentally hit himself for letting his arrogance cause this slip-up. He tried a charming smile as he replied in as nonchalant a voice as he could, “Well, he’s Nephilim.”

Magnus’ eyes narrowed in doubt. Asmodeus was slick. Too slick. Something wasn’t right. Magnus knew him better than that. He _should_ know him better than that.

“You are hiding something. What are you hiding?” Magnus accused skeptically.

“Don’t be ridiculous, son,” Asmodeus protested, waving him off.

There was something wrong; Magnus was sure of it.

“Don’t lie to me!” Magnus warned dangerously, his cat eyes flashing in anger.

Magnus’ anger and accusation had Asmodeus’ own temper come to life.

“Do not dare to defy me, _boy_!” Asmodeus cautioned, his own cat eyes shining golden, spitting the last word out.

Magnus felt his magic tingling as his rage increased. He forced his emotions back under control. The tension was so thick you could slice it with a knife. Magnus turned to look at Alec, his expression and body language instantly softening as he did so. He noticed Alec’s tense stand and knew he was physically and mentally preparing himself for an attack from Asmodeus. Was that a sign of something more, something deeper or just an instinctive reaction by a warrior to a likely threat?

“Alexander, tell me. What is going on here? Why does he say that about you?” Magnus asked, his voice strong but puzzled, worried.

Alec bit his lower lip nervously, his eyes shifting from Asmodeus who gave him a warning look and then back to Magnus. He had to tread carefully. This was his moment, his chance, to finally expose Asmodeus without jeopardizing Magnus but only if he did it right.

“I can’t say,” Alec finally replied, giving Magnus a lost look.

Magnus’ eyes narrowed, unsure what to make of that, fighting the ghosts of uncertainty, of past hurts.

“Can’t or won’t?”

“I can’t. It would harm you if I do,” Alec said in a pained tone but his eyes on Magnus were open and honest.

“You can’t believe him! He’s Nephilim!” Asmodeus protested hotly, giving Alec a sinister look.

“I am under a truth spell that I have fully consented to. I can’t lie when asked a direct question,” Alec revealed to Asmodeus with a smirk, his leer only increasing when he saw Asmodeus frowned in worry at hearing that.

“Darling, tell me. Are you afraid of hurting me?” Magnus asked softly, tenderly, trying to read him, trying to understand the hidden message Alec was sending.

“Not precisely. More harm coming to you,” Alec clarified, choosing his words carefully to avoid betraying the deal.

Magnus looked to Asmodeus who was shotting daggers with his eyes at Alec and then back to Alec who was carefully guarding his expression.

“From my father?” Magnus guessed, giving Alec a questioning look, getting a very bad feeling he had been missing something vital here.

“Don’t you dare speak! You are nothing but a common Nephilim!” Asmodeus thundered, waving a warning finger in Alec’s general direction.

Alec’s eyes were ablaze with anger and hatred at Asmodeus but just as he opened his mouth to voice those feelings, Asmodeus made magical lightning bolts run from his fingertips on his right hand and into Alec, forcing a pained sound from him. The magical attack made Alec fall to his knees and then to his side on the ground, withering and whimpering in pain, his body twisting as if electrocuted. Magnus paled in horror and shock, acting within seconds. He stepped in front of Alec and raised a magical shield, blocking any further magical lighting bolts from reaching Alec.

“Stop!” Magnus ordered sharply, positioning himself between Alec and Asmodeus, his eyes quickly going to Alec to check on him.

Magnus drew a relieved breath when he saw Alec was no longer showing obvious signs of pain and was struggling to come into a siting position on the ground. He then turned his attention back to Asmodeus, tense and ready to protect Alec had any cost.

Seeing all his magical blasts being deflected on Magnus’ shield Asmodeus lowered his hand and let his magic die out.

“You have no power over me,” Asmodeus warned his son, his eyes ablaze with fury.

“I do here. This is not Edom, father!” Magnus gave back, standing his ground, making the magical shield disappear but staying alert, ready to rise it again within seconds.

Magnus couldn’t both be on the defensive and on the offensive. Asmodeus had attacked Alec, hurt him. Magnus was not going to forgive or forget that, ever. Father or not then Asmodeus was a threat to Alec that he needed to contain.

“You are making a mistake siding with him,” Asmodeus threatened, nodding angrily towards Alec.

“The past year has showed me that Alexander and I trusting each other is _never_ a mistake. Not doing so is,” Magnus replied honestly, his tone strong and sure.

Asmodeus gave him a dark look as he snarled, his voice filled with contempt, “Ha!”

Curious despite himself why Magnus would favor Alec so much Asmodeus made a fatal mistake. He looked at Alec still sitting on the ground behind Magnus for a few seconds, not focused on Magnus, as he tried to understand it and failed.

Using Asmodeus’ distraction to his advantage Magnus summoned a spell and with the speed of a thought Magnus held Asmodeus in a lasso of magic, tying his hands to his sides, leaving him helpless. Asmodeus gave him a furious look, struggling to free himself but was unable to. For now at least. Magnus knew he would succeed eventually but all he needed was a few moments.

“Alexander, darling, are you ok?” Magnus asked concerned, bending down next to him on the ground, checking him for injuries.

Alec was still struggling to sit up properly so Magnus helped him, frowning in concern when Alec winced when he tried to use his right arm for leverage to come into a proper sitting position. Alec cradled his right arm to his chest, pain in his eyes.

“I…I think my arm is broken,” Alec admitted in a distressed tone, but still tried to give Magnus an encouraging smile.

“Let me heal you,” Magnus insisted, his worry and alarm clear in his tone.

Alec gave him a fond look and held out the broken arm with his healed hand holding supportively under it. Magnus took it gently with one hand and laid the other hand over it, letting healing magic enter Alec’s arm. Within seconds Alec’s injuries healed painlessly, making him draw a relieved sigh.

Alec flexed his healed arm experimentally. Seeing it fully healed he gave Magnus a quick loving kiss, keeping Asmodeus in his line of sight at all times, aware they were not out of the woods yet.

“I’m fine now. Thank you,” Alec assured him, smiling softly and stroking Magnus’ cheek tenderly.

Magnus gave him a searching look but when he saw he was right, he truly was ok, he relaxed. Magnus got back up to his feet and helped Alec up as well. When he was up his feet Magnus drew him into a quick embrace and they shared another loving kiss. When they drew apart Alec nodded towards Asmodeus in warning when he saw that Asmodeus’ latest attempt to break free of the lasso had almost succeeded. Magnus’ expression hardened when he turned towards his father, again standing protectively between Alec and Asmodeus.

“Now, father. Speak,” Magnus demanded darkly.

For a moment Asmodeus struggled physically and mentally, trying to get out of the magical lasso Magnus held him in but to no avail. His eyes flashed golden in rage as he realized he had no choice.

“Fine! He traded with me,” Asmodeus conceded.

Magnus looked surprised and shocked at Alec who held his gaze evenly but said nothing, not wanting to risk the deal, even now.

Magnus returned his attention to his father as he demanded in a harsh tone filled with worry for Alec and accusation towards Asmodeus, “What did he trade?”

“You,” Asmodeus admitted after the briefest of pauses.

“Me?” Magnus repeated, stunned.

Asmodeus nodded as he explained, “Yes. Your magic for his love.”

“What?” Magnus asked dangerously, getting a very bad feeling about all of this.

“I don’t see how any of this is relevant now; it’s ages ago. But yes, that was the deal. He left you and I gave you your magic back,” Asmodeus clarified, sounding truly puzzled as to why it would matter.

Asmodeus’ nonchalant tone only made Magnus’ rage increase.

“There was more to this,” Magnus realized, dread starting to fill him as he realized he had been trusting the wrong person, again.

“The deal, your magic, was conditional on the Nephilim breaking your heart. If he in any way went back on the deal you would lose your magic again,” Asmodeus explained, sounding proud of the deal he had made. It was a good deal; diabolic and just perfect!

“Why?” Magnus asked in a small voice, fighting back tears of rage, pain, and betrayal.

“I wanted you back by my side. You are my son after all,” Asmodeus said, as if that explained everything he had done and Magnus guessed that to him it did.

“Alexander, is this true?” Magnus asked, his voice shaking at imagining what Alec had given up, what he had endured, all for him.

Magnus now knew that he had believed Alec when he had broken up with him not because he thought so little of Alec, but because he had thought so little of himself. He swore to ensure Alec was aware of this important detail.

Alec nodded after a few moments of consideration, realizing Asmodeus had broken the deal and Magnus still had his magic. He was in the clear now, finally, to tell Magnus the truth.

“Yes. He told me to break your heart to save your life, so I did,” Alec admitted in a pained tone, biting his lower lip anxiously at even remembering that fateful day.

Magnus felt like his whole world collapsed. He had played right into his father’s plan. He had truly misjudged Alec in so many ways. More than that; he had again like a fool, like a child, believed his father, followed his father. He had been such an idiot!

“Oh, Alexander,” Magnus got out, finding it hard to speak, overcome by emotions.

“I would rather hurt myself than ever hurt you,” Alec got out emotionally, getting teary-eyed at finally having reached this moment after so many months.

“Alexander,” Magnus said heartfelt.

All further words got stuck in Magnus’ throat as he truly realized how wrong he had been, how terrible he had misjudged Alec and how much he had played into Asmodeus’ hands.

“I love you, Magnus. I have always loved you and I always will,” Alec said honestly, pain, joy, hope, love….all shining in his eyes in remembrance of the long journey he had been on to get to here.

“He is just a Nephilim!” Asmodeus protested, clearly confused by Magnus’ emotional reaction to the truth, struggling once more inside the magical lasso, now mere moments from being able to free himself.

Magnus gave Alec one last look to ensure himself he was fine before he turned furious eyes at Asmodeus, standing as a shield once more between Alec and his father. Magnus’ pain and hate, betrayal, and revulsion towards Asmodeus making magic swirl around his hands.

“Father, you have not only hurt the man I love but you have stolen that love from me. That can _never_ be forgiven,” Magnus said sharply, his voice filled with hate and contempt.

“What?!” Asmodeus asked, confused.

“You betrayed me, lied to me! Deceived me!” Magnus thundered furiously, sending waves of magic towards Asmodeus, making the lasso tighten painfully.

“No!” Asmodeus protested, fighting and struggling but the lasso was so tight he had a hard time breathing and he was forced to his knees.

Alec caught Asmodeus eyes just then over Magnus’ shoulder and gave him a cold and dark look.

“Die on your knees like you deserve,” Magnus ordered coldly, his eyes shining with fury as he with one hand made a ring of magical flames surround Asmodeus.

Slowly the magical flames started to lick up Asmodeus’ legs, sending waves of pain through him.

“I am your father. You can’t do this!” Asmodeus yelled feverishly but fear had entered his voice.

“You were never a father,” Magnus reminded him stoically, doing a hand movement and the magical flames grew even stronger, moving further up Asmodeus’ legs.

“You can’t do this! You don’t have it in you,” Asmodeus tried, desperate and fearful now, struggling for all he was worth but the lasso still held.

“You forget, father,” Magnus said darkly, spitting the last word out, “You did all of this to make me more ruthless. Make me stronger. To accept my demonic half. Well, guess what? It worked!”

“No!” Asmodeus screamed in terror and pain as the magical flames turned him into ash, silencing him forever, at least here on the Earthly plane.

“Enjoy Edom!” Magnus said harshly, his cat eyes burning with fury and hatred as even the pile of ash on the ground disappeared.

“He survives?” Alec asked with a hint of regret at that fact, his hatred for the man burning bright.

Magnus nodded as he turned to look at Alec. He stepped closer to him, taking his right hand in his, holding it tightly, needing the touch to ground himself.

“All demons killed on this plane of existence goes back to Edom. But this time he won’t ever be able to return to here and what is more than years will pass before he appears back in Edom; time works differently there,” Magnus said with both regret and satisfaction.

“I am sorry you had to do that. He was your father after all,” Alec said softly, giving Magnus a worried look.

Magnus felt his heart swell at Alec’s concern and care.

“Darling, even now you think of me,” Magnus got out, astonished and overwhelmed. His expression softened as he reassured him, "I'm fine. As you told me then there's also no hard choice where you are concerned; you are my priority."

“Good," Alec said relieved. "And of course I think of you. You are my world,” Alec reminded him affectionately.

Tears came to Magnus’ eyes and for a moment he forgot how to breathe, feeling so overwhelmed by the love Alec had for him.

“You are everything to me,” Magnus said emotionally, fighting tears. “Can you ever forgive me for so readily doubting you?”

Alec fought tears himself even as he nodded eagerly as he readily said, “Of course. Always. I hope you will do the same for me. Fresh start, remember?”

Magnus gave him a small, amazed smile as he shook his head.

“I don’t deserve you,” Magnus admitted softly, barely able to speak from how overwhelmed he was feeling.

“Of course, you do,” Alec quickly assured him. He paused before he added regretfully, “I am sorry I ever put you in a position where you felt you had to give up your magic, a part of yourself you can’t live without. It was unreasonable.”

“I thought so poorly of you,” Magnus reminded him, his voice filled with regret as tears ran down his cheeks.

Alec smiled tenderly as he wiped the tears from Magnus’ cheeks, his eyes soft and tender as he shook his head, unaware tears had run down his own cheeks as well.

“No. You thought poorly about yourself,” Alec said quietly, insightfully.

Magnus could not help but sob in relief and awe at hearing that, wiping Alec’s tears away just as he had done for him.

“You know I never _did_ hate you, don’t you? I never could. I tried. I wanted to,” Magnus admitted anguished.

Alec nodded as he said softly, cupping Magnus’ right cheek in his hand, “I know.”

The love and acceptance, affection and care in Alec’s eyes had Magnus’ heart almost bursting with joy.

“You are everything I always wanted but never thought I could have,” Magnus said softly, his eyes shining bright.

“That’s my line,” Alec teased tenderly.

Magnus nodded, smiling as he got his emotions more under control, “I know. But I mean every word.”

“I think I loved you not only from the moment I saw you but from I was born,” Alec got out, blushing a bit at his own statement but knowing it was true. “I went through life holding back, never even kissing anyone. Waiting for someone. As soon as I saw you, I thought maybe it was you. When we first touched electricity ran through me and I knew. I was never in doubt after that I had been waiting for you always.”

Magnus smiled tenderly at him when he heard that.

“I did the opposite. I buried myself in pointless parties and meaningless sex, searching for hundreds of years for you. When I saw you, I knew right away you were the one I had been looking for all along, but I was afraid,” Magnus admitted softly, a rare vulnerability coming to his eyes. “I am sorry I allowed myself to take my past hurts out on you. It was never you. _You_ were always perfect.”

Alec smiled softly, lovingly, stroking Magnus’ cheek as he reminded him emotionally, “I was never and will never be perfect, but I hope I can be perfect for _you_.”

Magnus nodded, again awed by his insightfulness and love.

“You are and always will be,” Magnus swore affectionately. “I love you. Forever.”

The lips now inches apart Alec mumbled heated, tenderly, “I love you forever too.”

Their lips met in a kiss that was forever and always. A kiss that finally once and for all put the past to rest and saw them walking towards a new future. Together.

_The end of part 8_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment or kudos if you are enjoying the story. Would mean a lot to me.


	9. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Idris kneels for Magnus. Alec and Jace is reunited.  
> The future of the Shadow World, Malec, Reyhill and everyone else is revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to my amazing beta readers as always.  
> Chapter warnings: Kneeling, talk of surrender, war and references to everything that has happened in this story.

_Please read chapter notes for detailed chapter warnings_

# Chapter 9: Epilogue

A few weeks later Idris surrendered, doing so before the magical wards and shields collapsed completely under the continued assault from Magnus’ army. Jace had finally managed to convince the Clave to stand down. It had been difficult, but he had also managed to be named the envoy sent to negotiate on behalf of the Clave with Magnus.

As this was a victory for the whole Downworld Magnus had decided that all his top people should be present for these talks. To accommodate everyone the meeting would take place in a large office downtown Magnus had rented for the occasion. The room was intended for board meetings and was on the 24th floor, with large glass windows and a big oval table. Magnus sat in the middle with Alec next to him. Cat, Raphael, Maia, and several others of Magnus’ most trusted people were present.

Andrew had decided to remain standing in the back of the room as even today Lorenzo preferred to stay in the corners when he was in new situations. However, Lorenzo was more curious than nervous now, looking around while holding Andrew’s hand firmly in his, finding courage and strength in the touch. Andrew and Lorenzo had continued to grow closer and while there was still nothing sexual in their relationship it was warm and affectionate with hugs and holding hands having become a normal part of their day.

Lorenzo was developing an unusual dependent relationship with Magnus, now will less fear than what he had first had when he had returned to his human form, but the same almost childlike eagerness to please. Andrew had wondered if Lorenzo still subconsciously believed that his life, happiness and even something like food was still dependent on Magnus’ good mood as it had been when he had been a lizard. As Andrew’s feelings for Lorenzo grew, he developed a respectful but arm’s length relationship with Magnus, not willing to move past things quite as quickly as Alec or Lorenzo seemed able or willing to.

As the weeks had passed Lorenzo had slowly gotten better, regaining more of his humanity, but even though he had regained his human abilities to walk, talk, read, and do magic, his personality remained changed. He refused to talk about his time as a lizard nor did he like to dwell on the past. He enjoyed every minute of every day, enjoying his time with Andrew while remaining close with Alec.

The passing weeks had only cemented Magnus and Alec’s love even more. There was a glow around them, a light, that left no one in doubt of their feelings for each other.

Today they sat by the table next to each other, their hands connected on the table, proud of their love and connection, Alec’s ring on his finger a symbol of that, their eyes filled with love and trust whenever they looked at each other.

Alec could feel Jace in the bond long before he entered the room, feeling his joy and excitement at finally being reunited. Alec made sure to send the same feelings back, eager to see his parabatai again.

Alec looked intensely at Jace as soon as he entered the room, looking for injuries and was relieved to find none. He looked worn and tired though, but otherwise healthy. Jace’s eyes lit up with both joy and worry when he saw Alec, scanning him for injuries the same way he had done with Jace. Their eyes met and they shared a moment of relief and joy at seeing the other safe and well. Jace looked surprised at seeing Alec and Magnus’ connected hands on the table, his surprise increasing when Magnus lifted their folded hands and kissed Alec’s knuckles tenderly, making the Nephilim smile happily. As Alec hadn’t known if his fire messages to Jace might get intercepted he hadn’t mentioned anything personal so Jace hadn’t known Magnus and Alec had gotten back together – till now. Jace forced himself to look away, nodding respectfully to Magnus and then the other Downworlders.

Jace lastly noticed Andrew in the back, giving him a nod in greeting which he returned. Alec had written that the Nephilim prisoners were well-treated but Jace was still relieved to see it was indeed the case. Jace was surprised to realize that the Warlock next to Andrew was Lorenzo; he looked and dressed so differently. He was healthy but skinnier, with less muscles. He also looked younger somehow, vulnerable, and open in a way he never had before. Jace nodded in greeting to him, surprised to see that Lorenzo gave him a puzzled look, clearly trying to place him. Then, when Lorenzo remembered he had seen him before at the Institute he waved and smiled. Jace frowned confused, finding the greeting too warm and eager given they had barely met and in particular for the distant and arrogant Warlock Jace remembered from a year ago. Jace realized that Lorenzo had changed a lot in many ways and he was left to wonder what might have happened to the Warlock in the past year. However, a lot had changed in the past year for all of them….

“Jace Herondale,” Magnus greeted him formally, pulling his attention back to him.

Everyone in the room followed the exchange, their eyes going from Magnus to Jace as they spoke, but otherwise remained silent, awaiting the next steps of this life-changing event.

“I have been sent to negotiate the terms of Idris’ surrender,” Jace said as he came further into the room, stopping right before Magnus, the table between them, forcing himself to look at the Warlock and not at Alec, standing at parade rest.

“Interesting. You think you are negotiating?” Magnus asked with a raised eyebrow, a hint of amusement in his tone.

Magnus and Alec shared a look before Alec looked pointedly to Jace.

“I know Alec’s message said unconditional surrender, but I have been asked to try nonetheless,” Jace admitted honestly.

“Well, I am immortal so I can waste a few moments to hear the Clave’s ridiculous defense for continuing their meaningless existence,” Magnus said with a dark leer, making the gathered Downworlders chuckles in amusement and agreement.

“Before we do that…May I talk to Alec?” Jace asked, needing to check on him, unable to focus on anything else before he had made sure, really sure, his parabatai was safe.

Magnus’ expression softened when he saw the need in Alec’s eyes to do just that as well.

“Go ahead,” Magnus said but his eyes were on Alec as he spoke.

Alec smiled and gave Magnus a quick kiss on the cheek in thanks.

“How are everyone?” Alec asked worried, his eyes now on Jace.

“Izzy and Max are alive,” Jace quickly told him, knowing he would worry mostly for them. Alec sighed in relief and Jace went on, “So is Clary.” Alec nodded, smiling softly at the news he was getting.

“Thank the Angel,” Alec said gratefully.

Magnus noticed how worried Jace and Alec still looked. He didn’t fully understand parabatai bonds, but he understood that look, that longing. He squeezed Alec’s hand tenderly and leaned close, his lips next to his ear.

“I think Jace needs a hug and I think you need one too,” Magnus whispered softly.

Alec drew back and gave him a surprised look, well aware of the mixed feelings Magnus had towards Jace after giving up his magic to help Alec save him.

“It’s ok. Go ahead,” Magnus encouraged, nodding towards Jace.

Alec smiled widely, moved by his insight. He put his arms around Magnus’ neck, hugging him tight.

“Thank you. I love you so much,” Alec whispered heartfelt in Magnus’ ear.

Magnus nodded, smiling fondly at him, knowing now and forever it was true. Alec let go of Magnus and rose. He had barely gotten out of his chair before Jace started to walk towards him. They met at the end of the table, embracing warmly, for a moment closing their eyes and just enjoying having found each other again.

“Alec,” Jace whispered joyfully, holding him close, finally, truly, feeling he had found him again.

“Jace,” Alec replied, fighting tears at being reunited. Being parabatai meant sharing a soul and as such being apart was difficult, their souls yearning to reconnect.

They stood like that for a few moments before the whispered talk from the Downworlders made them remember where they were. They reluctantly drew apart.

“You ok?” Jace asked, finally voicing the concern he had had since Alec had been kidnapped by Asmodeus.

Alec nodded, still smiling as he looked towards Magnus, giving the Warlock a fond and tender look, before returning his attention to Jace.

“Yes,” Alec replied with absolute certainty. He paused before adding concerned, “Are you?”

“I am now,” Jace replied, nodding relieved to himself.

Jace and Alec smiled at each other, enjoying being back together again.

Magnus finally cleared his throat, making the parabatai walk to stand in front of him before the table, both standing at parade rest, their expressions now all business.

“Now, about Idris, there are no terms. It is unconditional surrender,” Magnus reminded Jace, resuming their talk, making the room fall silent once more.

Jace nodded before he said evenly, “The Clave has asked me to request that our civilians go free of any judgement.”

Magnus smiled darkly.

“Clever trick the Clave is trying to play but you have no civilians. You are Nephilim,” Magnus remarked with a handwave.

“The children then,” Jace asked, not even trying to argue for the first one, having known it was an unrealistic demand.

“You have trained all your people to kill from birth,” Magnus reminded him. He paused, reflecting on it before he said graciously, “Anyone who has not yet gotten their first rune are free to do as they please. But that is all. Everyone else will be subject to an investigation and if war crimes have been committed, they will be dealt with accordingly.”

“Thank you,” Jace said, meaning it.

With the people close to him safe he had only one concern left; his parabatai. Unsure what was going on between Magnus and Alec, all Jace knew was that Magnus’ father had kidnapped Alec and last he had heard Magnus and Alec had not been on good terms.

Jace paused before he went on in a pleading voice, his eyes on Alec, “If those are your concessions then I ask that you take me instead of Alec. Send a message to Idris regarding the agreements we have talked about but keep me here.”

“What?” Magnus asked, giving him a confused look.

“Let Alec go and take me instead,” Jace insisted stubbornly.

“I have no use for you,” Magnus told him, frankly.

“Then….I volunteer to stay here. With Alec,” Jace offered.

Alec gave him a fond look, warmed by the offer and the intention, realizing Jace didn’t know what had happened between him and Magnus and was clearly fearing the worst.

“Jace…” Alec started to say, wanting to tell him it was not necessary.

However, Jace interrupted him, thinking he was trying to stop his intended sacrifice, giving Magnus a strong look as he added, “In whatever fashion you want but let me stay with him.”

“Seriously?” Magnus asked in disbelief, but he was starting to smile ever so slightly at the thought Alec was loved so much by his parabatai. He deserved it.

Jace nodded solemnly.

“Yes. He’s my parabatai. I have failed him before. I won’t fail him again,” Jace said strongly clearly hoping reminding Magnus of their bond would sway him.

Magnus was thoughtful for a moment, thinking of how Jace had acted when he had first met him. So focused on Clary he had forgotten Alec. But Jace had clearly grown and changed like he had. Like Alec had. He deserved a new chance, a new start, the same as they had gotten.

“You are important to Alexander and therefore to me,” Magnus decided.

He gave Jace a welcoming smile, making Alec’s face light up with joy. Seeing this Magnus was certain he had taken the right decision by starting fresh with Jace.

“So, I can stay?” Jace asked anxiously.

Magnus smiled for real now as he replied, “Yes but you won’t need to. If Idris surrenders unconditionally, I will ensure new Accords are made that govern the Shadow World that allow for equal rights for all.”

“You will not destroy Idris or harm the remaining Institutes?” Jace asked hopefully.

Magus shook his head, smiling slightly as he looked at Alec, his gaze warm and kind, “No.”

“Good,” Jace mumbled relieved under his breath.

“Destroying Idris was never the goal,” Magnus revealed. “Justice was.”

“I can see that now,” Jace admitted thoughtfully, nodding.

“However, there will be no second chances to old or new Circle members or hardliners,” Magnus reminded him, looking from Jace to Alec as he said it.

“Maryse and Robert Lightwood?” Jace asked, giving Alec a worried look.

From Alec’s serious but accepting expression Alec was clearly aware of this concession.

“Both will more than likely be found guilty. Maryse more so. She was Valentine’s second in command. They will be put before a jury and convicted accordingly,” Magnus said matter of fact.

Jace looked concerned at Alec as he asked, “Alec, are you ok with this?”

“Are you, sweetheart?” Magnus added, smiling tenderly at him. He paused before he reminded him, “We have talked about this before but it’s ok if you feel differently now.”

Magnus was not willing to not see Maryse and Robert put on trial but for Alec’s sake he might intervene when it came to sentencing, requesting lenience as long as justice was still served. Once, maybe, he would have been so eager to be loved and feel accepted he would have ignored the Lightwoods’ guilt but not any longer. His people deserved justice and Magnus knew now that if Alec truly loved him, which he knew now he did, then he would understand and support that.

“Yes,” Alec said strongly, smiling back at Magnus, his voice sure and unwavering. “My personal feelings are not important in this. Justice has to be done or there can never be peace in the Shadow World.”

“Perfect as always, Alexander,” Magnus said fondly, giving Alec a loving look, knowing he would understand.

Jace nodded in agreement with both statements, seeing, and feeling in the bond that Alec meant it. Jace knew Alec had never been close with his parents and Maryse in particular had been cruel to him whereas Robert had only been cold and distant. It still had to be hard for Alec as Jace knew how he had craved and longed for their love and approval his entire life. However, Jace had to admit he was doing the right thing. Clary had had to face a similar choice regarding her father, Valentine, and she too had taken the right decision.

“Very well. If Alec is ok with it then so am I,” Jace told Magnus strongly.

“Good,” Magnus said with a satisfied smile.

“With Idris’ unconditional surrender how do you see this moving forward? Will the Clave still govern us?” Jace asked, looking from Magnus to the other Downworlders.

“No, there will be no Clave any longer,” Cat spoke up, her voice leaving no room for debate on that matter.

“Then what?” Jace asked curiously.

“The Downworld has already elected its leader,” Maia reminded Jace, waving towards Magnus.

Jace nodded at that, knowing Magnus ruled the Downworld now.

“And for Idris?” Jace pressed.

“If I told you Alexander has already taken an oath and knelt for me what do you say?” Magnus challenged, giving Jace a searching look before looking warmly at Alec.

“He kneels?” Jace asked, confused, looking from Magnus to Alec, unsure what he meant by that as he, like all Nephilim, had never learned Downworlder customs.

Alec caught Jace’s eyes, smiling, his expression strong and sure. He then bent one knee and folded his hands over the remaining knee, looking up at Magnus with affection and pride in his eyes.

“Long live the new ruler of the Shadow World; Magnus Bane,” Alec proclaimed proudly, smiling warmly at his lover and future husband.

The gathered Downworlders couldn’t help but make approving noises at this show of respect for the man they had pointed to as their ruler and who had delivered everything he had promised them. 

Magnus smiled lovingly and affectionately at Alec before looking at Jace again.

“And you, Jace Herondale?” Magnus asked questioningly.

“If Alec kneels then Idris shall kneel for you too,” Jace said with certainty, holding Magnus’ gaze as he copied Alec and bend on one knee for Magnus as well, making the whole room gasp in wonder and joy.

“Alexander has sworn allegiance to me as ruler of the Shadow World as has everyone here, including as you can tell Alexander and Andrew. So has all the Nephilim prisoners of war and by doing so, and on the condition they have not committed any crimes against the Downworld, they will be returned to Idris in a few days,” Magnus revealed. “Is that an oath you can get behind, Herondale?”

“Alec trusts you, so **I** trust you,” Jace replied without any doubt or hesitation, his eyes strong and sure when he looked up at Magnus.

“Is that a yes?” Magnus demanded, needing to hear it not just for himself but for his people.

Jace nodded as he solemnly swore, “For me and on behalf of Idris and the Nephilim race, we hail you, Magnus Bane, as the ruler of the Shadow World.”

Loud applause broke out; even Lorenzo and Andrew joined in this time, knowing this meant the war had ended and peace had returned to the Shadow World.

“You may both rise,” Magnus allowed, trying to be heard over the cheering, doing a handwave, smiling warmly at Alec and Jace.

As they rose Magnus declared as loudly as he could, “This meeting is adjourned.”

While everyone got up and prepared to leave Magnus walked over to Alec and Jace. As soon as Magnus was close enough, he pulled Alec into a warm embrace and they shared a tender kiss that had Jace give them a fond but puzzled look, having gathered they were back together but didn’t know the details yet.

“You were amazing!” Alec proclaimed fondly when the kiss ended, stroking Magnus’ cheek lovingly.

“So were you, darling,” Magnus insisted, smiling warmly at him. His expression softened even further as he added, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Alec said tenderly and they shared another kiss, filled with love and promise.

“Jace, stay for dinner. Let’s celebrate the new era of the Shadow World. Tomorrow Alexander and I will go to Aliante with you together with my people and start the transition of power,” Magnus offered when he and Alec separated, keeping an arm around Alec’s waist, smiling when Alec leaned into the touch.

“Of course. I will love to,” Jace said with a fond smile.

Back at the loft Magnus magic’d dinner for Alec and Jace. He offered Andrew and Lorenzo to join as well but Lorenzo didn’t feel ready for that yet, so they instead shared a meal in the kitchen area.

Jace caught Alec up on everything that had happened since he had been taken by Asmodeus and Magnus and Jace told him Asmodeus was gone forever and that they were back together now, glossing over the details of the how and why. Jace was simply happy Alec was happy and had been quick to voice his joy at hearing that.

“Magnus has asked me to marry him and I have said yes. I want to ask you two things. Firstly, will you stand by me?” Alec asked Jace, giving him a serious look, holding up his hand proudly so Jace could see the ring as proof of their upcoming union.

“Of course!” Jace readily agreed, grinning from ear to ear. He gave Alec a quick hug as well as he could as they were sitting next to each other at the dinner table.

“Congratulations!” Jace added, still grinning happily at the news, knowing how much Alec loved Magnus.

“Thank you,” Magnus and Alec said at the same time, smiling joyfully.

“And the second thing…how would you feel about immortality for yourself?” Alec asked Jace, giving him a serious look.

“What?” Jace asked surprised.

“Magnus has asked me to share in his immortality but doing so would mean you become immortal too as we share a soul,” Alec explained, giving Jace a questioning look. He expression softened as he added emotionally, “I want to do this but not without you agreeing. You are literally half my soul and Magnus is my heart. To live forever I want you both there.”

Jace was thoughtful for a moment, thinking seriously about it.

“I have thought of it before and Clary and I have talked about it too after Simon became immortal,” Jace told them. He paused, reflecting on it some more. Then he smiling softly, the decision easily made as he had already been through the decision process.

“Yes, I would be fine with it if our parabatai bond remains and we can find a way to make Clary immortal too as I spoke with her about.”

Alec smiled happily at hearing that, giving Magnus a questioning look regarding Jace’s conditions.

“Both are completely doable; yes,” Magnus agreed, nodding slowly, smiling tenderly at Alec while giving his hand a warm squeeze.

Jace grinned widely as he said, “Then I am more than fine with it.”

Alec laughed, overcome with joy, giving Jace a warm embrace as he said emotionally, tears in the corner of his eyes, “Thank you so much.”

When they drew apart Alec looked at Magnus, seeing he too had unshed tears in his eyes as they both realized this was happening. They had peace, each other, and eternity.

“My forever husband,” Alec told Magnus lovingly, tenderly, holding Magnus’ hand tightly in his.

“I love you, Alexander. Always,” Magnus said heartfelt, taking a hold of Alec’s other hand too, holding them across the table. “I never stopped loving you. Even when I thought you had betrayed me, I never stopped loving you even though I tried. That was why I couldn’t let you go.”

Alec smiled tenderly, moved by his words.

“I know that now. I love you too,” Alec replied emotionally. “Always.”

Unable to resist Magnus stood up and walked around the table. Alec tipped his head back with a fond look at his soon to be husband. Magnus bent down and gave him a tender kiss filled with the promise of forever, of possession, of love, growth, forgiveness, and a new future. A kiss of passion, intensity, and belonging. A kiss to carry them towards eternity. Together.

Jace became Consul-General of Idris, governing the country under Magnus’ command. He and Clary married and had several children and rebuilt Idris together. Clary became a Daylighter in her late 30s, sealing the pact they had made with Alec and Magnus to share immortality together.

Andrew brought Lorenzo back to his mansion in Spain. They loved each other and took care of each other in a way no one else ever really understood. They married late and adopted a lot of stray animals, caring for them as if they were their own children. Lorenzo had offered Andrew immortality several times, but Andrew had always refused, feeling that love and life were only precious because they ended. Instead, Lorenzo made spells that prolonged Andrew’s life, giving them almost two hundred years together. They lived those years together to the fullest, traveling, discovering and exploring.

Lorenzo never fully healed, never returned to the Warlock he had been before he had become a lizard. However, Lorenzo maintained that in some ways that might be for the better, even if he did mourn certain aspects of his past self. But Lorenzo knew real joy and contentment for the first time now, with Andrew. He saw the world anew through the Nephilim’s eyes and was loved and loved in return. For the first time ever Lorenzo was genuinely happy.

Lorenzo tied his lifeforce to Andrew’s, unable and unwilling to go on without him. Andrew chose to end his life before his body and spirit grew too weak, wanting to die with the dignity of a warrior while he still could. They left this world together, wrapped in each other’s arms, a smile on their lips, unafraid and content. Andrew’s only real regret as he closed his eyes was that Lorenzo would till the very end only ever refer to himself as Lizard, unable to reconcile what had happened to him with the Warlock he had once been, choosing instead to reinvent himself, to be someone else. Despite Lorenzo’s happiness with his life this fact had always made Andrew’s heart bleed for the Warlock he had come to love so deeply.

Alec helped create a Shadow World Council under Magnus’ leadership and rebuild the Institutes. He and Magnus married in a grand ceremony and adopted several children through the years. They stayed in love through all of their immortal years. Alec refused to ever let Magnus lift the truth spell, seeing it as the catalyst for the change in their relationship. Alec and Magnus became a symbol for love and change, tolerance, and peace. They became the most beloved rulers ever known in the Shadow World, guiding their people, all of their people, towards a new epoch of peace and tolerance.

Many years later Alec would wonder about everything Magnus and he had been through to reach the happiness they knew now. He would conclude that one way or another…he had always been made to belong to Magnus and he wouldn’t want it any other way. Despite the pain they had lived through then even in their darkest moments there had always been love there. Their love was different now from when they had first met; it was more mature, more nuanced. Their love was like a broken vase that had been glued back together with gold and glitter, sacrifice and endurance. The lines from the break had become lines of strength and power. Their love had become like kintsugi; stronger, more beautiful, after accepting each other’s flaws and breaks, imperfections, and shortcomings. They were back together, whole once more, and here they would stay. Forever. 

_The End_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the story. If so please leave a comment or kudos. Would mean the world to me.  
> If you enjoyed this story you may enjoy other of my Shadowhunter stories. If so just go here and find the type of story you want by selecting rating, pairing and any tags to include or exclude using the filter funtion: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nadja_Lee/works?fandom_id=6856609


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